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M mother just died suddenly at a nursing home where she was

just trying get her physical...
M mother just died suddenly at a nursing home where she was just trying get her physical strength back home. She was getting stronger after a brief stay at the hospital for neumonia. she was very lucuid at the rest home except for the last few days. She contacted c Diff at the nursing home and barely eating and drinking having days of constant diarrhea. i am an ICU nurse who has taken care of my parents for years. I also keep house for them because it has been too difficult for them and i own 1/2 of the house and only my name is XXXXX XXXXX deed. After I had to go back to work and felt she was getting better, my bother called me of her death 8 hours-after-the fact. when she was lucuid she told me to go home and hide them because everyone makes fun of her meds like she is a drug addict. MY mother has sever Fibomylaria and suffers with her pain. .WASShe told me to go home and hide them. Was I wrong?????
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Answered in 2 minutes by:
7/22/2013
Tina
Tina, Lawyer
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 33,167
Experience: JD, BBA Over 25 years legal and business experience.
Verified

Hello and welcome.

My name is XXXXX XXXXX my goal is to provide you with excellent service today. I am so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your mother. My sincere condolences to you. Before I can give you an accurate answer to your question, please provide the following additional information:

You are concerned that you may have engaged in some unlawful conduct by hiding your mother's medications as she requested? Has someone made an allegation against you with regard to this?

I look forward to assisting you as soon as I have received this information. Thank you.

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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

My older brother, who has been drinking himself to death for 20 years and who has just become sober came to "help out" HE wants to take over our mortgage. Mom and Dad and I together own the house , However, the deed is my name only.They pay I/2 & I pay1/2.My brother wants me to signover the deed so my dad can have it. In addition he wants to to kick myself me,my daugher, and her fiance out.They were a big help for my parents before my brother came. My brother is nasty to myself, my daughter,and her fiance. By brother has no home because he drank it all away. After my mom died he waited for 8 hours to call. He said that I stole her meds and took them. When she was alive and lucid. She told me to hide her meds and to pick up my father's ambien because she delves them out to him.he. He is 87.and has bad cardiac disease i have stood his side for multiple procedures(OHS,etc.) I took a lot of time off from work for may year.We really thought that she would be coming home in a few days) After my mother died I think my sister threw them away when she was bagging up my mother things.. My brother has turned my father away from me although since I am an ICU nurse and helped save his life at tleast two times.I have sent them to the finest doctors and taken time off to help them. I dedicate my last 20years to help them and now by my brother tells us to get out. My father is under his spell. My mother has had terrible Fibomyalgia for years but most her doctors did not help much. She was only on Vicodin 3 a day and 2 fo night time pain.I nurse and this is very conservative treatment for chronic painers. My brother says he wants take care of father and take over the house. The deed is in my name and I have spent 20 years paying half the mortgage.

Hello again, Linda, and thank you for providing this additional information.

It does not appear there is any basis for your brother to make allegations against you of any unlawful conduct. If there were a criminal investigation related to your mother's death, then throwing her medications away could be problematic, but it sounds as though your brother may be trying to blame you or make you feel guilty in an effort to gain title to the property which is in your name.

There does not appear to be any grounds for him to take the property from you since it is in your name, so he would have no basis to force you out of the property either. I'm sorry that he is causing so many problems for you with your father, but it does not appear he can do any of the things he is threatening with regard to the property and may be making these statements out of spite (or his own stupor) rather than reasonable legal premises.

If you wish to force him to back down from his threats, you may want to consider retaining a local family or real estate law attorney to communicate the law to him, and demand that he refrain from making any further threats or you will pursue a restraining order against him.

I hope this helps clarify the situation for you. Please remember to rate my service once you have all the information you need so I will be compensated for my time from the deposit you posted with this website. If you have any other questions, please ask me – I’ll be happy to respond. Thank you!

Tina

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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Thank you Tina,


I was wondering if there were to be criminal charges filed against me, what would they need to prove. She was given few meds in the hospital and nursing home and was miserable. My whole family is against me based on they’re hatred of drugs ( my two brothers are recovering alcoholics and my father does not want to take even an Motrin, although he takes 13 meds for his cardiac disease). My poor mom with chronic pain was surrounded by these ignorant ideas. She had very bad fibromygia and needs her meds. Tylenol doesn’t cut it


 


I have provided care for her for 20 years even going so far as to taking a year off from work a few years ago to take care of her after she fell out of bed and broke her sternum. It has been very costly for me to take time off in order to avoid taking my mom to recover in a hospital. She adamantly denied wanting to go to the hospital. She wanted to stay home and for me to stay beside her. I took multiple days of personal time off of work, spending sleepless nights in her room watching over her. My sisters spent time a short time with us during this period and complained about spending one night in the chair. This is the same sister that feels that I have given inadequate care of my mother. As an ICU nurse I have seen time and time again, the elderly going from the hospital straight to the rest home and then catch a disease and die. I have worked hard for 20 years to honor her wishes to avoid the a hospitalization. She distrusted doctors due to how they blow off her pain. When she was in the rest home I left her in order that I had to go to work at Whidbey general hospital and she was much improved. I thought my brother would do a good job, call me if there was any complications. In a few days she was dead.


 


Are there any charges we can file against my brother?


I would like to charge him with elder abuse on the grounds of manipulating my father against us since the loss of his wife and my brother not being a professional caregiver and my suspicion that he is giving my diabetic father fast food. Also, would the small amount of insulin, 1 - 2 units’ oral agents mostly (very little in my professional opinion. He is a very, very stable diabetic) Does this qualify him under the caregiver clause and thus inherit the house should Dad he pass away?


I was also wondering if I could charge a wrongful death suit on my brother because he turned my parents against me over the last few days of her life and received POA and then she died a few days later. What about slander?? He is forgetting that he was charge and blaming me for her death. He is telling many friends and family.. Thus turning my whole family against me.


 

Hello again, Linda.

Even if a police report were filed by your brother, criminal charges will not be brought unless a local prosecutor finds grounds to pursue such charges, which does not appear to be the case here--just a lot of empty threats.

No, it does not appear there is a basis here to charge your brother with elder abuse unfortunately, but you may wish to take the steps I outlined above since it certainly does sound as though he is harassing you.

I also see no basis for your brother to take ownership of the property when your father passes away, but at the same time, a court would not likely find that he was the cause of your mother's death, but you may potentially have a cause of action for slander if he is making false statements against you that are damaging your reputation.

For that, it would be best to retain a local attorney as I suggested above. It sounds as though he is a bully and someone needs to fight back, but having an experienced professional on your side can make a big difference.
Tina
Tina, Lawyer
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 33,167
Experience: JD, BBA Over 25 years legal and business experience.
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Thanks again and all the best to you.

Tina

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