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Category: Legal
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I finally was able to tell my husband NOT to come home after

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I finally was able to tell my husband NOT to come home after work, because I had just had it with his violent temper, ignoring me, totally controlling me, never allowed me to have any say in any financial matter, 100 percent control all finances & I never knew what money we had he hid things from me, he could spend whatever amount of money he wanted on whatever he wanted, & he had several checking and savings account that I had no access to, he told me I was bad with money so that is why he set it up that way, if I wanted to buy something I always had to ask for the money and explain what I was getting and why I was getting it and he would always act like he was NOT happy about it, he would come home every night and just b**** a b**** and complain about how much he hated his job & would just start cursing about everyone who have to deal with & on the very few occasions when he would ask me my opinion, no matter what I would say; he would just tell me I don't know what I'm talking about!!! Well I guess what I'm asking is, ( since we both filed for divorce for months ago), && my lawyer send his lawyer a letter about him having to pay spousal support until the divorce is settled, he has been paying the mortgage and all the bills where I live( which is the town house that we use to both live in),BUT, whenever we do talk, all he does is bully me & threatening me & kept telling me I better go to my lawyer and get something drawn up because he doesn't want to be a limbo, so my lawyer was away last week and he started texting me and I couldn't take it anymore so I drew up a proposal for him & II eight and high but he makes 70 percent of his money and cash off the books & I feel that I deserve a lot because I put up with so much emotional and verbal & psychological abuse for 10 years! He never text me back and my question is, " he is not giving me any spending money, or I should say probably only about a hundred and fifty dollars a week, am i entitled to get spending moneyalimony until the divorce is settled and also after the divorce is settled? I do not have a job and any job that I had while I was married he always put me down about every job I ever worked at! Nathalie I am NOT in good shape at all and I cannot get a job right now! I know I have to go get some help and I am going to do that this week! I live in Pennsylvania. I have tape recordings of phone conversation with him totally verbally abusing me & bullying me & I also want to know if I can sue him for abuse?

LADYLAWYER : Hello, Thanks for choosing! I look forward to helping you with legal information today. Please
LADYLAWYER : give me a moment to review your questions and to answer you.
LADYLAWYER : How long ago did your attorney file for divorce? Do you remember him saying anything about asking for pendente lite support?
LADYLAWYER : When your attorney is back and you see him again, you need to ask him to file for temporary support, also known as pendente lite support.
LADYLAWYER : You are entitled to this and it will at least keep you living in the manner you were accustomed to (or better) during your divorce proceeding.
LADYLAWYER : To answer your other question about suing for abuse, no, I am afraid you cannot do that. However, you CAN use the fact that he abused you to get a bigger divorce settlement.
LADYLAWYER : So it's kind of like being able to sue for divorce.
LADYLAWYER : I see you have joined the chat. Are you able to read my answers okay?
LADYLAWYER : If you have any further questions, I am happy to answer them at this time.
JACUSTOMER-yerg9zaj- : In answer to your questions, he file in March or April & I wjent to my lawyer probably in the middle of April and she sent his lawyer my counter sue. I know that she also said his lawyer something saying that I needed spousal support so that's why he has been paying the mortgage & the bills but he really doesn't want to give me spending money, so I am going to call her tomorrow to make an appointment, but I guess what I really want to know, was BECAUSE I have been so emotionally abused & live in constant fear all the time of HOW HE IS GOING TO REACT TO THINGS( VIOLENT TEMPER & MUST ALWAYS BE IN TOTAL CONTROL OF EVERYTHING)HOW do I use this 2 get me wat I deserve?
LADYLAWYER : Thank you for your additional comments. I had stepped out of the chat because I didn't see a reply within 15 minutes of responding to you and I had other customers waiting. Sorry for the delay.
LADYLAWYER : I am not really able to say how someone I don't know might react. But I can tell you that legally, he can whine, kick and scream all he wants to, but this doesn't change the fact that you are entitled to the temporary support and all your attorney needs to do is ask for it.
LADYLAWYER : once it is asked for, you will have a hearing on that request. His attorney can try to fight it, but the law allows you to get it.
LADYLAWYER : This is especially true if you have not been working during the marriage and he had.
LADYLAWYER : He will have to provide all his financial information to you and the court.
LADYLAWYER : I have enabled the acting feature now, but you don't need to rate it right now if you have more questions for me.
LADYLAWYER : I am more than happy to answer any additional questions you might have :)
LADYLAWYER : I did see where you said your ex hid money...your attorney can subpoena all the financial institutions you think he may have money at.
LADYLAWYER : And of course, if the judge thinks he is lying, he can be charged with perjury or held in contempt.
LADYLAWYER : So there are ways to make him show everything he has/makes.
LADYLAWYER : Did you have any further questions I can help you with at this time?
JACUSTOMER-yerg9zaj- : Well I am having a problem with my phone using this Sat, but I wanted to tell you I think you're amazing and thank you for your prompt response & I'm really tired I want to go to sleep but I have one more question for you, I told you he cancelled whatever credit cards I had with you the only one, & that he had several checking and savings accounts that I had no access to, I found a credit card number that he had given me to order him some things online and I used it the other day to buy stuff on eBay. I needed clothes and shoes and some health and beauty products. I also used the Victoria Secret card that he probably forgot to cancel. The only spending money that I have is what my parents send me & I try not to ask too much because I am so ashamed of all this. I'm allowed to buy things?? Do you see the place that I am in in my life that I am actually asking if I am allowed!! Oh my god I am so filled with sae and I am 55 years old
JACUSTOMER-yerg9zaj- : SHAME not sae or same hate autocorrect
JACUSTOMER-yerg9zaj- : Did u get my LAST ? i send to you on text messaging? & I also wanted to let you know that I will defnitely be using you some more, & I am fully aware that I have to pay for this & I don't have a problem with that, because I like this so much better than having to always call my attorney for evry little thing & again thank you very much and I hope you can answer my last question before I go to sleep, so I can go to sleep with a clear head
LADYLAWYER : Yes, I can see it but for some reason, the site is not telling me that you're online or typing anything to me so I think you're offline. It must be a glitch in the system. Sorry!
LADYLAWYER : Yes, you can still buy things on the cards you have access to and that he has not cancelled. The judge may end up taking away access in the long run, but you aren't doing anything wrong in the meantime.
LADYLAWYER : I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this. You sound like a lovely person and I know your ex has drained you so much of so many things over the years. It is never easy starting over, but I am so proud of you for finally standing up to him, believing you are worth it, and wanting to get out from under his abusive, controlling oppression of you!
LADYLAWYER : It looks like you may have signed off and gone to bed (if the site is telling the truth this time!). I am going to sign off for the night too. If you have more questions, please just leave them for me and I will answer them tomorrow. If you have no further questions at this time, would you kindly consider leaving me a positive service rating before you go? It costs you nothing further to do but it just ensures that I can continue to be employed by this site. Thank you so much!
JACUSTOMER-yerg9zaj- : Oh my god I am so happy you just told me that about the credit card! I feel so pathetic that I'm still under his thumb to some extent! I never used to be an insecure person at all :’( and thank you for telling me that you're proud of me, it means more than you will ever know to a person like me who is going to this! Thank you again you made me feel so much better and I will sleep good now & I will absolutely leave you an excellent review & you can rest assure I will be in touch with you very soon & again thank you so very much xo
LADYLAWYER and other Legal Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
something is wrong with my phone and the Internet connection I tried to give you a tip to PayPal but because my internet service keeps going in and out, I cannot complete the transaction at this time so I will try again tomorrow & thank you so much again
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
hi, I need to ask you a few more questions but I don't know how to get to YOU & not somebody else! Can you please just quickly walk me through the process of paying again and being able to get you?? Thank you and I really need it quick
Hi Debra! That's my best friend's name, btw :) Feel free to ask me anything else you need right here. I am online and ready to help! Once I answer, you can just leave another positive service rating, if you wish.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
do I have to pay first?
No, not at all. If you would like to leave me another service rating after I answer your additional questions, that would be fine.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
okay great I will definitely try again to leave you a tip to PayPal. I have to take care of my kitties right now because they are hungry lol I will ask you my question in about 15 minutes & THANK YOU SO MUCH
I have four myself so I understand that! They wait for no one! See you in about 15.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
lol this is true! Can you please send me a link to send you a bonus because I keep trying to do it where it says add bonus but payPal keeps telling me to go to your website
I wish I knew how to do that. I am just the measly lawyer and don't work on the technical side of things. I know you can leave another service rating and then a bonus. I will leave this reply in the form of an answer if you would like to do it now instead of later. I appreciate you wanting to do that!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Aaahhh!!! It won't let me add a bonus but if I also rises to start again and pay another $40 will you get the money
Let me contact customer service via email and they will email you and tell you how to do the bonus. I would prefer to do it as a bonus since we get more of that than if you pay agin. If that's okay? In the meantime, please don't pay anything. Just leave me your questions and I am happy to answer them right now!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
ok but please make sure that you find out that information so that I can leave you a good bonus just tell them that when I click on bonus it directly to pay pal and I put in my login information & an error message pops up & tells me I have to go back to the just answer website but then I go back and his bonus again and its the same thing well anyway let me ask my question I am just going to give you a little backstory info first I told you that we both file for divorce but we don't have any legal separation & a while back I had told him that if he wants to come here to get something you must call me first and he did a few times he called and I let him come to get some of his things well today I was out of the house from 2 o'clock to 5 o'clock & @ about 930 or so I went over to the garage to get something and I noticed that there was stuff missing ( his tools & some file cabinets of his & then I ran upstairs to my bedroom and I thought my bedroom door was open and I always leave it closed so I knew that he had been here!!!!! I must also tell you that he is a very on trusting person & whenever I was on vacation with a friend or my mom I noticed that he had gone through a lot of my stuff!!! Also when he left the house, about two months after he was out, I went to get my old cell phone out of the bookcase, & it was gone so I was searching and searching and I found the phone in the drawer of his nightstand & I opened up the phone and he took out the CHIP!!! I have always felt like my privacy was being invaded & I KNOW THE REASON HE HAS ALWAYS DONE THIS IS BECAUSE HE CANNOT TRUST ANYBODY BECAUSE HE IS GUILTY!!! anyhow, I am mediately called him and asked him when he was here & he said I can't today at 3 o'clock and I knocked on the door & nobody answered so I used my keys and I came in because I had to get some tools from the garage, & then he said, don't worry I didn't go through any of your stuff, & anyway, I CAN COME THERE BECAUSE ITS MY HOUSE TOO!!!!!!! I am so sick to my stomach right now because on top of all the abuse and everything else, well somebody invade your privacy, you feel so VIOLATED & it also makes me sick that he has no respect for my privacy and that he does these type of things just to feel like he is in control!!!!!! I did call my attorney yesterday and left a message because she was in court( not about this of course, because this just happened), but because I have to sit down with her!! Can you please give me some advice on what I should do about this and please also give me some advice on helping me to not feel so violated :’( :’( :’( thank you so so much
So sorry this happened to you, Debra. Can you please tell me how long he has been living outside the home?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
since Feb 2nd, the day I text him and told him not to come home because he was being so abusive to me that day and I just could not take it anymore he was ignoring my text messages and so on and so forth, so I had fun we had it and I just told him to not ever come home & I was finally able to tell him that I thought he was very sick & so abusive, and of course he wants to get told me I'm crazy I don't know what I'm talking about a crazy, and I told him if he comes here I will call the cops, & also I need to tell you that he was not happy in this marriage anymore either, he had been so abusive to me & towards the end I started to fight back a little & of course that didn't go over well at all because he was losing control
Yes, he sounds very controlling, manipulative and abusive. And you're right, I am sure he is guilty and is just projecting that on you by thinking you were doing something too.

At this point, I would consider changing the locks. Yes, it is the marital home but he left almost 6 months ago and if he is coming in unannounced, I would go ahead and change the locks. He will have to try to go back to court to try and get the judge to let him back in. That isn't likely to happen at this point.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
yes you are absolutely right about him not going to court because I know he doesn't want to mess with that! & I know the only reason why he took this leap ( coming here without asking me & especially coming into the house when I'm not home), is because I sent in that proposal in a text message last week & I'm sure it made him very angry and he felt like once again he is losing control, so therefore he will go to anyway how to make himself feel better and more in control!! But I must say this was a big leap for him but I guess I really shouldn't be surprised because people like him, when they see your way or not in control of everything, they are able to put everything else aside and just see what they have how to make themselves feel in control!! I also wanted to tell you that one of the things he has been threatening me with is that he keeps saying to me admit it to me admit it to me you were smoking pot and you was doing some coke!!!! It was almost like he just needed something to show himself that, Aaha! You see I was right, and you lied to me because I asked you so many times about this! & in one of our phone conversation since you last I finally couldn't take it anymore and I told him yes I did smoke some pot and yes I did do some coke with my friend and yes I can do it because its my life and you can't tell me what I can and can't do!!!! & I SHOULD HAVE NEVER EVER TOLD HIM THAT, because ever since I did, whenever we have a text conversation or so conversation and things don't go his way, he will say things like, " oh you want me to give you some spending money, well why should I if you're only going to spend it on DRUGS!!!!!! & so again there is a perfect example of how he so wants to get me on stuff, SO IT MAKES HIM FEEL BETTER, like he's not the old bad guy!!! Uuhhgg!!! Makes me feel so l that a person could actually operate this way. Well anyway I also emailed customer support asking them to please let me know how I can you about this and I explained what was happening when I did, because you have been so helpful to me & I really really want to be able to give you a boner so can you please try to find out more info? & also please give me your feelings on what I just wrote. Thank you xO
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
omg!! Not boner BONUS!! LMAO
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I have to charge my phone for 15 minutes so I will be back on @ 12:40 :-*
Haha! The joys of autocorrect! I have had some doozies too--no worries! Well, probably wasn't the best thing to admit to him, but it's not going to hurt you in court. Don't ever puts it in writing and if anything, deny (in writing) that you ever even said it. Just to let yo know, your attorney *may* play it safe and tell you that you shouldn't change the locks because it is the marital home and the locks shouldn't be changed without a judge's order, blah, blah, blah. She may have to say that because that may be the law in your area. And while I want to be clear that I am not your attorney and do not represent you, what I CAN tell you is that people do it all the time, nothing happens to them, and all that would ever happen would be a judge telling you to give your ex a key to the new locks. But I highly, highly doubt that would even happen here because 1) your ex wouldn't go to court to ask and 2) he has been living out of the home for almost 6 months, which is about the time the court grants permission to change the locks anyway. Just didn't want you to wonder what the conflict in information might be about if you talk to your attorney and she says otherwise. I doubt she will go into as much explanation as me though. Lol
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
first I wanted to just let you know that the reason that PayPal direct me back to the homepage, is because for some reason "justanswer WONT allow it! Instead what they do is, they ask you if you want to leave additional money for your expert & then an automatic box that says $40 pops up( BUT its not the same as the box that you pay the $40 for the 36 cription)!?!?!? As you can see I am extremely OCD & things like this drive me nuts! Lmao!!!! I really hope you can get an answer for me because they have not answered me yet! So getting back to my crazy ass situation; oh I know you are absolutely right that I should never had admitted that to him, because he will now hold that against me and use that against me in any way he can because he is just loving the fact that he now has something to hold against me and that makes him feel great because he knows deep down that he did so many things that will roll to me, even though he will never admit it! But that was just my stupidity because I trust too easily & I should have known better because he has done things like this to me in the past where he judges up the stupidest things that I may have said or done months or years back :-P & I totally 100 percent understand what you're talking about with changing the locks & as for now until I get to my lawyer, I have put the garage door on security lock so he can't get in there, & I was able to put some heavy duty tape on the inside lock so he can't open it from the outside!! Lol Well my darling Savior, as usual you were a great help to me tonight and I will sleep better because of it, & PLEASE send me one more reply tonight and let me know about that issue with the $40, & also as soon as you hear from them please let me know how I can send you the BONUS! THANX
You're so welcome! I am happy to help. Please know that you can come back here and ask me any additional questions you want--even if you don't leave more money. As soon as I hear from JA customer service, I will post a message here to let you know. Have a great night!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
ok great! & thanks again as it means a lot to me to be able to vent to someone who knows a helluva lot more than any of my friends or family, & not that I don't love them all to death & so appreciate everything that they do for me, but when I speak to you I am @ least getting " expert" advice, & that puts my mind at ease!! I am sure I will be talking to you real soon! Nite Nite ;-)
Hey Debra!

Just wanted to follow up with you and see how your situation is going. did you get the locks changed?

Did customer service contact you yet?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
hi love! Did not change the locks but I didn't have to and I have a you things I want to tell you and bring you up to date on but I am going to get with you later on because I'm in the middle of something right now! Also just wanted to tell you that customer service did email me and I I told them you were the best thing that ever happened to me!!! I will message you later & YOU ARE AWESOME! Oh, & one more thing before I go for now, I figured out that the reason I could not give you a bonus, was because he cancelled the credit card that was attached to the PayPal account!!! Lmao! Talk to you later love
Thanks so much for the shout out to CS about me--I appreciate it! Just let me know when you want to talk. I may be online Sat night but won't be on Sunday. Can't wait to hear an update!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
will try you tomorrow night & if you are not online, I will try again on Monday night hope things are good with you, as I can't wait to tell you what has been going on & its all good xO
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
hi luv! Can I ask you a question?