Our unwed da8ughter is currently in a custody case for her daughter. The Ex Boyfriend is the father. He has no interest in raising his daugter as we have seen when he was here for 3 weeks. He is unclean, a pot head, and refuses to take any responsibility whatsoever.
Our daughter moved up to Oroville, WA (Okangan county)to be with him so that he can be with his daughter who is 27 months old. He comes from a very close knit family who do not like outsiders and hate our daughter because she "Is not one of them".
This family covered up the accident he had while high on Marijuana and driving
with their daughter while she was only a few months old. The baby was in a car seat without the base and he drove into a tree with her in the truck, flipping the vehicle and totaling the truck. Thankfully the car seat we had bought our daughter saved the baby who wound up on the floor. The accident was never reported however the father and the baby were taken to the hospital without a word to our daughter (mother). They refused to give her a ride to be with her own baby. She had no car at that point.
They have kidnapped the baby, lied to her concerning the child's whereabouts and refused to allow our daughter anywhere near the child until a friend went and got the baby from the drug house owned by the father's friend's father. Because the father of the baby filed first, the court granted custody to him.
He filed the custody papers on the grounds of neglect, but without his mother to guide him, he couldn't even answer why they were at court to begin with. Our daughter had to answer the judge's question as to why they were there.
The father has no interest in raising the child, but the mother does. The father has been seen by our daughter when she went to pick her daughter up for visitations, sleeping while his friend was passed out on the couch asleep. The child was running around the apartment unsupervised and unfed. She is basically rising herself. There was no access to food or drink and the father was up all night playing video games which causes him to sleep all day. He did the same thing while he was here, refusing to pay attention to his own daughter.
The father is 22. He has claimed to have a job at Gold Digger Apples at over $12.00 per hour. Yet he has not provided the child with diapers, wipes, pull ups, tried to potty train her, spent any time with her and consistently left her with his mother who lives in an unkempt and dilapidated mobile home with her drug addicted husband. Neither environment is suitable for the child, yet they are determined to keep her away from her mother at all costs. The mother is also defrauding the DSHS by claiming her parent's house as the main residence for her younger children.
Our daughter is 21. She has 2 jobs, a babysitter, and a place to stay. The child is well cared for and our daughter has affidavits and evidence proving that she is the sole provider for the child when she has her. The child is well cared for, has playmates and a loving mother who is trying to be sure her daughter will want for nothing. The child and our daughter are on my husband's Health Insurance
provided by his employment through Allied Health Care. The father of the child has no insurance
on her, choosing instead to have State provided insurance.
Up until yesterday, the father said he wanted to go to mediation. When our daughter repeatedly asked when he was willing to go, he kept coming up with excuses, effectively running out the clock. When asked if he wanted to spend time with his daughter, he repeatedly found reasons not to. When asked as recently as yesterday when he wanted to start the mediation process, he said he changed his mind and he was going to court. This sandbagged our daughter, leaving her completely unprepared with no paperwork done as she thought they were going to settle this through mediation.
Today was the hearing, and the judge granted a 2 week continuance so that she could file her paperwork properly. She cannot afford a lawyer and is thinking about asking for a court appointed lawyer.
If allowed to move, she could further her education and have access to free daycasre and housing. No bills allowing her to focus more on spending her money on her daughter and better job opportunities.
What advice can you give me to pass on to her. She is not the neglectful parent here. She does not deserve to lose custody of her daughter or be forced to stay in a very depressed location just because the father refuses to take responsibility for his own daughter. His mother has all of the supplies for the child at her house. The father has nothing, even though he makes enough to provide for her. The child was seen dirty, unsupervised and unfed under his care. Even his mother said to us "He makes a good big brother". Nothing was said about his making a good father.