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Brandon M.
Brandon M., Counselor at Law
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 12620
Experience:  Attorney experienced in numerous areas of law.
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My childs father is harassing me. Always bothering me with

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My child's father is harassing me. Always bothering me with texts trying to get back with me and claiming he loves me yet he is sending the identical texts to his previous girlfriend( the lady he was seeing behind my back & moved in with after i kicked him out of my house). I am in the address confidentiality program and hope the judge will let me use that as my address because he is pressed on knowing where i now reside(i left my house i kicked him out of due to him riding by late at night and leaving a nasty note on my door...stalking!) Im sure if he were to get my new address he would be stalking me again and i do not want to live in fear again and loose anymore sleep over him. He has always been disrespectful and i have texts to prove that. I never pressed any stalking, harassment or domestic abuse charges because I'm finally realizing what occurred as i have been getting ready for this case against him. I have just been dealing with everything to keep the peace for now for the safety of my daughter...not to get him upset with me and let it roll over onto her.

The lady he was seeing behind my back and i are now friends because she contacted me recently after she kicked him out of her house and he destroyed 3 tvs by punching and cutting the cords, poured drink on her laptop and broke it (as he did mine), and many, many other items of her's he has destroyed. But as I said before, he is harassing us both with the same texts just waiting to see which of us may be dumb enough to take him back. He and i currently have a temporary visitation set up for our daughter with me having primary custody, but after hearing how crazy he went on his ex and how he was domestically abusive to us both( she and i have been through the exact same things with him...basically verbatim) I fear for my child being around him. He uses and sells steroids, smokes marijuana while watching my child, has an older daughter who bothers our child while taking her naps and no telling what else goes on while in his care!!! All of these things i just found out, otherwise i probably would not have agreed to any visitation because he is crazy!!

He is known to have severe road rage and has accrued many speeding tickets just over the past couple of years. He has threatened suicide to both the ex and me since we do not want him back. Overall he is mean, controlling, harassing, emotionally abusive and a sociopath. I am wondering if anyone has any opinions on what a judge may rule for his continuing to see our daughter once we have our custody hearing? i hear so much of NC judges " giving the benefit of the doubt" and " give him a chance" but how much should my child be exposed to and what amount of danger does she have to possibly endure to get the courts to see he is unit and she is truly better off without him in her life?!? Cant he be locked up for the steroid use and selling? Would they cut off any visitation knowing all of this? Could i get his parental rights terminated?

He has never worked to support her and I am and have always been her primary caregiver, even when we lived together...he was too busy running the roads seeing other women to want to be home with his daughter. I and his ex are truly afraid he will ruin my smart young daughter with his selfish, uncaring, drug filled lifestyle. The ex is going to be a surprise witness. also and i'm afraid after that he may follow through with his sucidical thoughts and hurt our child and himself to get back at me for letting the courts know he is such a terrible person.

I do have an attorney but wanted a second opinion becAuse i'm afraid everything will be too lenient on him and as i said have the attitude of " well give him a chance" when i know and have been told by his ex how bad of a parent he truly is behind closed doors.

Thank you
Fearing for my baby

Brandon M. : Hello there.
Customer: Hi...any thoughts on my issues
Brandon M. : Hi, thanks for your questions. I do have some thoughts.
Customer: ok
Brandon M. : You probably know some of this because you have an attorney, but child custody is determined based on the best interests of the child. The challenge is oftentimes proving what is in the child's best interests. You have given me a lot of negative information about the father, but how much of this could be verified in court?
Customer: Welli h
Customer: well i have the ex under oath giving her side, a used needle from his steriod injections, texts asking me if there are anymore steriod bottles at the house, i had a keylogger on my computer showing the many steriod websites he went. to, and he would fail a drug test.
Customer: I have given my attorney the nasty note he left on my door and also have every text he sends me showing how harassing he is, he admitted to riding by my house late at night and taking pictures because i was not there...and i wasnt there because i knew he would be coming bybthere.
Customer: I have his various texts stating how he cant take it any,ore and eluding to suicidal thoughts.
Customer: He can be proven a liar based off of things he has already put in court documents and how he is trying to go and forth between the both of us ladies. He told his attorney and had me believing he finally was working but he hasn't. My attorney asked for documents to prove that so when he cant produce anything that will show he is a big liar.
Brandon M. : That makes sense. I'd like to address your questions, now that I have that information asked: (1) I am wondering if anyone has any opinions on what a judge may rule for his continuing to see our daughter once we have our custody hearing? A. It really comes down to the quality of the evidence for any given case. I should clarify that because the nuances of every situation are different, this information should not be relied upon as complete or advice without consulting in person with your attorney. That said, if the evidence supports even half the allegations that you listed, one would normally expect the father to receive supervised visitation as the most. (2) i hear so much of NC judges " giving the benefit of the doubt" and " give him a chance" but how much should my child be exposed to and what amount of danger does she have to possibly endure to get the courts to see he is unit and she is truly better off without him in her life?!? A. That's not really the law, and the people who think that tend to not understand the system. A child's best interests are met if the child can have a significant and positive relationship with both parents. However, if the relationship with one parent would be harmful because of the parent's lifestyle and pattern of actions, no court will "give the benefit of the doubt." It comes down to evidence.(3) Cant he be locked up for the steroid use and selling? A. It is criminally illegal to sell or possess certain drugs without a prescription. Doing so may result in jail time.(4) Would they cut off any visitation knowing all of this? A. If the evidence proves it, that would be a likely outcome. Another possibility is minimal visitation that is supervised.(5) Could i get his parental rights terminated?
Brandon M. : To answer the last question, termination of parental rights is quite different from having no visitation or custody rights. Termination of parental rights is not easy to get or likely for any given case, and usually can only be achieved after a significant, willful absence from the child's life.
Brandon M. : The challenge for me in this situation is that I can't see the evidence with my own eyes, so I can't make a reliable estimate about its persuasiveness. I can't read the notes or listen to voice messages, or speak with any witnesses. I can tell you that illegal drug use is usually all that is needed for a parent to lose custody. Violence, threats toward the other parent, and even an absence of parenting experience with the child are all reasons to minimize or eliminate custodial rights.
Customer: Ok. Well i know he is off to a bad start because it can easily be proven he is a liar and how volatile he is and i definitely have a plethora of texts showing his mood swings. I pray the rest of my evidence and testimony from myself and the other lady and maybe a few others will help. i do definitely fear for my daughters safety and it makes me sick we have this agreement now for him to see her but i am just trying to go with the flow until. court day and pray she isn't harmed too much by what she sees, hears or endures.
Customer: Your opinions have made me feel much better about things. The other lady is trying to get a warrant for his arrest for destroying her property so i know that wouldn't help him also. But anyhow, I thank you so much for your help.
Brandon M. : You said that you were looking for a second opinion on all of this. I can discuss the law, but (as I mentioned), I'm not in a position to examine your evidence or project the outcome in your specific case. What are your attorney's thoughts?
Customer: Untill recently, we were going to be civil and just settle for the me getong primary custody and him having his specific visitation. After fidning out all of this information from the ex though, i want feel i need to reallynput all ofmthe cardson the table becuaae i have reallyfound out what a cruel, unstable person he really is. And i know it isnt her saying all of these things for revenge on him becausse we have identical storys. it is amazing we can almost finish each other sentences from the loads of liesnhe told us and how controlling he was. So i know for my daughters sake, sanity and safety, he father needs to be exposed for the sociopath he the justice system and l
Customer: hopefully they will do the right thing about him.
Brandon M. : That makes sense.
Customer: sorry, i'm on an ipad and i didnt get to go back and fix my mistakes before it sent.
Brandon M. : No problems. I think that I understood.
Brandon M. : Did you have any other question?
Customer: No i really don't. it has just been refreshing to hear another legal point of view on this. I feel very strongly about my case and his heart will jump out of his chest when he sees the ex as a witness. He has no idea we would be talking, let alone working together to expose him. She and i get texts from him everyday and it is so hard to bite our tongues knowing he is lying and trying to play us both. i told her though to be patient because ultimately this is for my 2 year old girl and i don't want him flying off of the handle before court while he does have rights to visitation. Plus he is a flight risk...he lives with his mom now and is miserable and he has threatened to tAke my child before... so we are just playing it very cool.
Customer: Thank you so much!!! I really do appreciate your thoughts!!!
Brandon M. : It was my pleasure. I wish you the best.
Customer: Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX
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