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Andrea, Esq.
Andrea, Esq., Attorney
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Experience:  25 yrs. experience in family law, estates, real estate, business law, criminal defense, immigration, and employment law.
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Dear XXXXX, After made the police report against my ex-bfs

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After made the police report against my ex-bf's voilence on 25th Nov 2012. We went to 3 times mediation so far:

The first time, he took an lawyer involve while i was there alone, they said they r not agree with my police report and they need time to make a police report against me of distroying some items in his flat and bite him on his shoulder and cost him MC...and how much money i cheated all these years... And i used knife to threaten him first...(this i difinately didn't !)

Second time, i have to hire a lawer to go together but him didn't show up as his lawyer says forgot to inform him and he fly out of the country.

Third time was a few days ago, i tried to settle with him for the sake of 9 years relastionship. My lawyer offered: if he fulfill his promis of paying 2 years rent ($180k) for me i will return the 50% share to him and cancell the magitrate complain. But he turned down and said he is preparing his fille to sue me for the property share and also i bit him and broke his glass druing the fighting. So, the judge agreed to let us come for last mediation one month later to submitte both of our compains.

( Initially when we just talked about seperation, he said he move out from the flat he rent and will contiunely to pay rental for 2 years for me to stay and let me returen the 50% share of the brought property to him. I was ok. But a few days later, he asked me to move out and once i moved out, he refused to pay for anything...and use violence to threaten me. )

So now, i've been forced to go forward. Initially, i was thinking to use mediation to talk to him nicely, as long as he appologise and promise not to disturb me anymore and pay for my 2 years rent then i'm ok to end the mess.

But his is using even worse way to bully. He knew that i couldn't afford the lawyer fee and i'm alone in this city, no one will really sincerelly help me...

The lawyer fee for both magistrate complain and the property might cost from 150 - 180k. And even if i win the case ( i'm not sure if i can get the full amount of the 50% share which is only 400k) So, if i win, mostly of the money will be paying for lawyer or if i lose, i'll have to pay for his lawyer fee as well...Which is about 300-400k.

I'm now really hesitating, if i go forward, i'm not so sure about the result; But if i gave up, then his violence and bully works which i feel wronged. It's not fair..

I went to see his doctor yesterday and been told his healthy is badly affected by the side effect of the mental medicine he took for 15 years. If he dont take, his frastration might cos him suiside or doing other madness; or if he continue his sexsual ability will be totally destroyed and health getting worse. (actually, he is already unable to do sex for almost a year )

I guess even if i won the magistrate complain of he hurting me and threatening me, he will use this to cover.

What should i do pls?

Many thanks!

Hi, Wang, and Welcome back to JustAnswer, Thank you for requesting me, It's good to hear from you, but I am sorry for such bad news.

The first thing I have to say is that the lawyers are cheating you, I have never heard of a lawyer's fee for such a case to be so high. From what you are writing and the information you are giving me, your lawyer has done absolutely nothing for you and you are in the same position you were in when you came to JustAnswer the last time.


If you allow him to bully you, I am sure that he will not stop there. Once he knows he can scare you, he will do anything he wants to you. The property you described in your previous question in November, 2012, in which he gave you 50% is yours. You own 50% of that property and he will not be able to sell it to anyone without your signature on the deed and he knows that. You can tell him that yourself. You can tell him ifhe does not settle the case with you and pay you your rent for two years, then you will not sign any deed if he wants to sell the property. As I told you in my previous Answer, once a gift is given to you, it is considered in the law to be a "Completed Gift" and the person giving the gift cannot demand its return.


You are the only person who knows the basic character of your ex boyfriend and what he is capable of doing. Therefore, I do not think that anyone knows your ex boyfriend well enough to make the decision on going forward or not. You should, however, make a police report every time he threatens you. And, if the case does go to Court and a Judge hears the case and asks why you bit him, simply tell the truth - that he was attacking you, you were afraid of him because he has threatened many times to kill you, you were afraid for your life, you do not have the strength of a man, and you were defending yourself the only way you knew how.


I can say this to you with certainty - The lawyer who represented you once in front of the magistrate did nothing for you and you should not pay him that amount of money. If you decide to go forward, you should definitely and immediately start looking for another lawyer. I am sure that there are humdreds of qualified lawyers who could represent you very well and who would not charge you $180,000.


You should speak to a few lawyers before you select one. Ask a lot of questions relating to your situation, ask if he has experience in this area, ask if he has won or lost these cases. ask him what his hourly rate is and ask him to give you a bill at the end of each month, showing the days and dates on which he worked on your case, a description of the work he did on each date, and how much time he spent doing that work on each date. This is the type of bill lawyers here in the United States must give their clients. They must account for the number of hours for which they are charging their clients. They are not allowed to "just pick a number" and say, "Okay, I worked on your case for 20 hours last month, you owe me $4,000".


If you ask a lawyer for an "itemized bill for legal services rendered" and he refuses, that means he will be cheating you and you should stay away from him. Keep looking for an honest lawyer who will not rob you of your money and do nothing for you.


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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
1. I went to see my ex-bf's doctor two days ago and been told that, the side effect of the mental medicine he took for 15 years is affecting his health badly; if stop taking, the frustration will cos him suicide or do any unimaginable madness. If continually, his sexual ability will be totally destroyed. ( that's why he couldn't provide sex during the 8 months we stayed together.)

So, even I win the magistrate complain of he threatening me and hurting me..I think he will use this reason to cover up. Can he ??

2. He brought the property meant to get married with me so that I will accompany him and take care of his life. But now I don't wish to marry him as he couldn't reproduce and provide sex, can he argue that: the gift was mean for the promise of marriage , since i breaking the promise of marriage so I need to return his gift . Will law support this pls??

3. He said he is going to sue me cheating on him and ask me to pay the 50% property share's value back to him. As we both don't have the evidence to prove its whether a gift or not, how should I reply to it pls?

Many thx!

Hi, Wang, Good Evening, Welcome back,



1. You asked if he could use his mental condition to cover up, I guess you are asking if he does something to you, will he be able to use his mental condition as a defense.


Answer 1


He can try to use that as a defense, but it will not be as easy as he thinks. The Judge will Order him to be examined by a doctor chosen by the Court. But, just because he was taking drugs for 15 years and the drugs affected his brain, does not necessarily mean that he is insane. Someone can be "mentally impaired", in other words, his brain can be affected by the drugs, but that does not make him insane to the degree necessary for a Court to find him "Not Guilty by reason of insanity". In order to be found "Not Guilty by reason of insanity", his brain and mind would have to be impaired enough at the time that he committed the crime, to the degree that he was not able to understand right fromwrong or to understand the nature of his actions. If someone takes drugs for long periods of time, he destroys his brain, but that does not make a person violent, on the contrary, if he has been taking drugs for that long, it would make him very weak, not violent. So, he can try to use insanity as a defense, but I cannot say how successful he will be, if he will be able to convince the doctor that he is crazy, but it does not mean that he will convince the Court of his mental incapacity, or of his innocence;



Answer 2



2. If the 50% interest he gave you had "no strings attached", then it is a "Completed Gift"; But, if when he made the gift to you, it was a "Gift in contemplation of Marriage" and he gave you the property as a "Gift in contemplation of marriage", then it was not a completed gift, and it was conditioned on your entering the marriage to him. If the marriage does not take place, then you would have to give him back the property. However, he would have to prove to the Judge that he gave you the 50% interest in the property in contemplation of the marriage.


Answer 3

If you and your ex boyfriend are not married, there is no way that you are cheating on him. A man and a woman must be "Husband and Wife" before either one can accuse the other of cheating. You broke up with him a few months ago, you have to live your own life the way you want to live your life, not the way th thinks you should live your life. As thngs stand between the two of you, you do not owe him anything, and he owes you nothing. and the only way that you can know for sure what to do, is to listen to your heart and do what your heart tells you will be the right thing for you, and not for anybody else. You deserve to be happy because life is too short,



Please be kind enough to rate my service to you as "Excellent Service",

Bonus and Positive Feedback are greatly appreciated,


Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to assist you,




Andrea, Esq. and 6 other Legal Specialists are ready to help you