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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 41221
Experience:  Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.
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I need a lawyer who is not going to be freaked out by S/m issues. I

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I need a lawyer who is not going to be freaked out by S/m issues.

I am a 56-year-old man who fairly recently was able to start earning enough money to engage in a long-time fantasy of mine: becoming the slave of a young man whom I support financially. For several years now i have been engaging in a long-distance relationship with a 22-year-old man in the Philippines, carried out by way of Yahoo Messenger. I have been financially supporting the young man (and his 5-year-old son, whom I am putting through school) to the tune of $1,300/month. He has always had a dream of starting a restaurant, and I've recently sent him, in installments of $2,500 plus change, a total of $16,000 for that purpose. (Yes, I know this is the Philippines, and there is a possibility of a scam. I knowingly and maybe foolishly took that risk, based on what I at least think I know about the young man.)

A few minutes ago, the young man just called me to tell me he is in trouble. The phone number is XXXXX from the one from which he usually calls. The Interpol and the FBI are looking for him, he says. He is in hiding. He will call me every night until the situation clears. In the meantime, he wants me to reformat my hard drive, so that I will not get in trouble.

I told him I could not do that. That would be Obstruction of Justice, which would get me in very serious trouble.

I need a lawyer (with a strong stomach) to look at whatever communications from him are on my computer or still accessible via Yahoo Messenger, and tell me if I have unknowingly broken any laws. At least I THINK I am guilty of nothing more than engaging in a hot sexual fantasy.

As for the young man, it is of course possible that he was engaged in something other than setting up a restaurant in the Philippines. Maybe I was wrong about him. If that is the case, I need someone capable of defending me against any allegation that I was somehow a co-conspirator.
Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you. To give you a measure of my competency, I do represent individuals in the lifestyle, and can assist you with your concerns.

However please be advised that I personally cannot represent you through this site, or evaluate your communication--for that you would need to retain local counsel to assist you. If you could give me a general outline of what you discussed (no need to get graphic, just an overview), I will be able to give you an educated guess as to whether or not this is a scam or potentially legitimate. Please advise.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am not totally sure if you got my previous reply or not. So I am sending this again, just in case. I don't know if this is the addtitional detail you require. Please add 'at least I think I did' or 'at least I think this is what happened' where appropriate.


1) For several years now, I have been supporting the young man and his (now) 5-year old son to the tune of $1,300 a month for their living expenses.

2) In addition, I put the young man through trade school to learn how to become a chef, and financed his travel to Singapore, Bangkok and other locations for various competitions, where he usually won second or third place. (Once, in Manila, he won first place.) He always sounded nervous when calling me before the competitions.

3) I put up $6,000 for a restaurant. A business partner put in additional money. The restaurant started. Every night he told me how much it brought in that night. After about 6 months, the restaurant started to break even.

4) I may need to give you additional detail about this part later. The partner embezzles the tax money to the tune of $2,000. My friend gets arrested and spends several nights in jail. In the nick of time, I am able to get together $2,000 to pay the taxes and get him out of jail before he is actually charged with tax evasion. I am in the Philippines when this happens. There are elements that make this suspicious, there are elements that make me believe my young friend. Later, he files a complaint against the business partner. I have the complaint, in Tagalog (of which I speak a little). Again, I may need to go into this episode in greater detail.

5) After this episode, my friend wants to study accounting for one year. I finance his tution to the tune of $300/month. I am satisfied that he is actually going to the school when he is reluctant, out of clear embarrassment, to tell me that he did not get an A on an exam.

6) I send hims $500 for his then-4-year-old son to have an abcessed tooth removed under anaesthesia. The son was too frightened to cooperate with the dentist otherwise. I am 100% confident this happened because I have pictures of him with the gap in his teeth.

7) I suggest he start up another restaurant. I estimate he would need about $25,000 to do this. I tell him I would send him $25,000 when I am able to.

8) Recently, about a year and a half later, I've just started being able to. I've sent him about $17,000 so far for the restaurant t hrough RemitHome, in installments of $2,500 plus in lesser installments. I tell him I will send the rest in smaller installments as I am able to.

9) As part of the fantasy, I pretend that he is a young tough who is forcing me to send him money. I tell him over Yahoo Messenger in sexually-inflected language that he is forcing me to send money because he is my Master and i am his slave.

10) One worry I have is that the authorities might choose to interpret all of this as prostitution. We would have video sex a few days later each time I sent him money. Another is that in our Yahoo Messenger exchanges I unknowingly said something illegal or that implied he had enslaved me for real. And of course a third worry is that maybe he is using the money for some illegal purpose.


Hope you get this reply.

Thank you for your follow-up.

I did not receive your original posting, but have received this one. Please give me about 10-15 minutes to read, review, and respond--I just want to send this message to you now so that you are aware that I received it and am working on an answer. Please do not worry, I will provide you with a response shortly.
Thank you for your patience.

I have been reviewing this question and reading the facts. There is just one question that comes to mind. You stated that you were in the Philippines yourself. Did you ever meet this person in real life, or has it always been solely a video relationship?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Yes, I did meet him in real life, in the Philippines. Just once.

Thank you for your follow-up.

I thought as much. This does not strike me as a scam based on the information that you provided. However, this still does not make it a criminal matter. You are ultimately a consenting adult who chose to send his money, for whatever reason, to this individual. Under U.S. law, unless there is clearly a criminal matter that you were engaged in, there is no violation or a direct criminal outcome from what I see. This is not 'prostitution', this is a choice to send funds to this individual because I am assuming that you spoke a fair amount with him, and not every time you spoke you sent him money. Unless there is an issue with how you sent the funds, the amounts are low enough that I do not see the IRS or FBI get worried (they generally care more about funds coming into the U.S. than funds that are being sent out). In terms of sending money for the restaurant, it is arguable that you were acting as a silent partner anyway, or the funds were sent as a gift, either of which is permitted. I honestly do not see anything that strikes me as illegal that you have done or stated.

Having said that, if you are still worried, consider browsing the "Kink Aware Professionals" listing at the link below. There you can find attorneys and other professionals who are either in the lifestyle or represent many individuals who are. There you would be able to retain direct counsel if you feel safer going forward, but as I stated, nothing directly jumps out at me that would make be think that you are doing something illegal under U.S. law.

Here is the link below:

Good luck.

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