How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask TexLaw Your Own Question
TexLaw, Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 4430
Experience:  Lead trial/International commercial attorney licensed 11 yrs
Type Your Legal Question Here...
TexLaw is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

i have been with my husband for 25 years married to him for

This answer was rated:

i have been with my husband for 25 years married to him for 20 years. this is my only marriage. we have 2 children together.i found out last june he was having an affair with a girl 1/2 his age who was a 06 graduate @ the school he teaches at.he was emotional mental & spiritually abbussive.he left myself & our 2 children on a farm on 18 acres.along with taking away his entire work check out of our joint checking account. while there was still incoming floating house bills coming in.this caused our acct to have isf.i am on ssd & they took the fees out of my ssd when it came in on the 3rd of the month.along with taking me off car insurance & cell phone family plan.he had several credit cards that i did not know about that he was only paying the min. on including one in my name & his ss#& dob. he has a fraud alert out on him.the credit card co. told him all he needed to do in order to get my name off the card & his name on. is to send in a copy of his drivers license to update his acct.i called 3 months later & then again 4 months later to see if he had my name taken off the card . he has not. he was late on a pymt & it showed up & harmed my credit report.he also during temp court lied & said that all those x tra credit cards that i didnt know he had was marital debt incurred.i was ordered by the judge to pay 1/2 of the min. on all the cards that i did & did not know about.he has since temp court went out & charged up 5,685.00 on 1 of the cards i did not know about. i txted him y did u do that & he said 2 pay rent & bills. he is living with the 23 year old girlfriend & her 45 year old mother who is the same age as him.where he takes our children to stay the night. he was ordered by the judge to pay me child support in the amt. of 566.48 twice a month. pay the utilities & to continue paying on the families medical dental eye & perscriptions. this is automatically deducted out of his work check. since he began employment there 18 yrs ago. he is constantly handing over bills to me that is the remainder of what his work insurance does not cover.on me & the kids which he did pay when he was inside the marriage.he stopped paying on our sons orthodonics. our son only has his upper bracket on & was ready 4 phase 2 6 to 8 months ago. the orthodontist has told me if there is no pymnt there is a ser charge every month.& our son risk his teeth shifting & we will have a bigger expense if he doesnt start on phase 2 asap. i was awarded no maintance b cause the judge said there wasnt enough money there 4 him 2 pay me maintance.but yet he no longer pays on a cell phone 4 me & now not on our daughter either. he has taken me off car inurance life insurance.buys our children expensive gifts gives them mall money black friday money bet money his girlfried new kitchen shelves takes her out 2 dinner on trips puts our son on high dollar select baseball teams & camps basketball baseball.psr fees. travels back & fourth to & from belleville to waterloo in his 8cylnder its his turn or not to visit our children. hes in contempt of using our property exclussively. having people over drinking hunting stay the nite fishing gardening. hes singing & whisteling & carring on as if everyhing is normal. & ask if i can take the trash out for him b cause it was raining. get the mail & could i have the house cleaned up he might have a prospective buyer & if i could i take our son to baseball practice. pick him up & buy him shoes. when we agreed in meadiation who ever signed the children from now on has 2 pay the fees take them 2 & from do the uniforms & fundraisers consession fees & wrk consession.& pay door fees etc...he has taken away all kinds of marital prop including a humidifier witch our son & i need. do to the fact that each of have a dry scalp.& i have dermatitis which i had 2 get 2 expensive deep moisturizing trtmts & electrothearpy. our son 1 moisturizing trtmnt. i had 2 b put on predisone topical cream & a anti histimine. he shut off our pilot lite 3 times this past winter. so we would not use the furnice b cause he did not want to pay on the bill. he txted us & told us there was plenty of wood 4 the wood stove. which our son & i could not use b cause it would cause r skin & scalp 2 dry out worse than it he comes 2 the house & turns r thermostat up. & take pictures of my personal notes.a bag of trash on the counter. the pets have had some accidents in the house they r indoor outdoor animals but i have them in more than usual this past summer due to the fact that there has been many heat warnings out this past summer. he shuts the basemnt door so that the air conditioner doesnt cool the whole house. & then the dog has an accident in our sons bedrm instead of downstairs on the concrete floor in a unfinished basemnt if there is one where it would b easier to clean up. he has lied numerous times 2 all of us. he has brainedwashed our kids into thinking this is acceptable & im the illinois a no fault state


I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

You ask whether Illinois is a no fault divorce state. The answer is yes. However, based on what you stated, I'm a little unclear on whether that is the only question you want answered or whether you have other questions.

Are you represented by an attorney any more?


TexLaw, Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 4430
Experience: Lead trial/International commercial attorney licensed 11 yrs
TexLaw and other Legal Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

what age does your child have 2 b.if he refuses 2 not want 2 visit with his father. during the time it is his fathers visitation?how do i keep him from taking marital property prematurely b4 the judge awards who gets what?im worried if the courts award us joint custody.then he will not have 2 pay child do i get him 2 keep from sending harrassing txt messages using the prop exclusively & harrassing me while hes on the property?how do i get him 2 continue 2 pay 4 our sons orthodonics so we wont get ser charged every month & where our sons teeth dont shift out of place due to the fact. he was ready 4 phase 2 6 2 8 mo. ago?how do i get him 2 stop handing me these excess bills that his insurance doesent cover including some utility bills he was ordered 2 pay on. i need 2 move out of the home & into the city in an apartment.beings i was awarded no maintance. the house is 13yrs old & is on the horrizon of starting 2 need improvements such as carpet painting new hot water heater that started leaking last year etc...& i want 2 get out while there is still equity in the home in case the housing market takes another dive & then we will wind up oweing more on the house than what its worth.our son needs medical attention ive been trying 2 seek out a homeopathic help him & my husband keeps putting road blocks in our way so to speek. by continueously signing him up for sports games tryouts practices & camps etc.ive had 2 cancel our sons dr. apts twice & have not been able 2 reschedule. he says there is nothing wrong with him.hes one of those above the law kinda guys.hes made the remark i dont work 4 the system i have the system work 4 me.& he said if i loose [meaning him] we all loose. he is a big renound figure in the town in which he works & is a man of stature & 2 the fact he was a head varisity coach in one of the most high paying school dist. in southern illinois. & brought home titles for the highschool they have never seen b4 in the whole history that the school has been there. hes been in newspapers & on tv & reporters calling the house.& colleges wanting 2 recruit him to come & coach for im affraid im up against a guy who is going 2 get by with murder in every facit of the way except for the act itself. he is also trying 2 get custody of our 12 yr. old son.hes extremely competive. he cant stand 2 loose hes strategic & yes i do still have a lawyer

Your son does not get to choose not to see his father if his father has visitation or joint custody rights.

You need to ask the court for order telling your ex that he cannot take away any marital property before the divorce. You also need to ask the court to award you child support. If your ex chooses not to pay the child support, you must alert the state, which will put a lien on his wages and bank accounts.

In regard to your need of money, you need to ask the court that your ex be ordered to pay you spousal support and maintenance.

The issues regarding your son being signed up for sports, etc., are also decisions you can ask that the court grant to you. However, a lot of this stuff requires you standing up to him.

You need to stand up to him and demand what is right and what you want. If you don't like what he is doing, then you need to tell him so. Tell him in writing if you can't say it to his face. You need to tell your lawyer exactly what you want: custody, child support and spousal maintenance.

Your lawyer will ask the court to grant these to you. The law protects you, but you have to stand up and ask for it. I know you are worried, and a divorce can be very scary and hard, but the best thing you can do is move forward and be brave.

Please rate my answer so that I might recieve credit for my work.

Please let me know if you want to discuss this matter further.


Customer: replied 5 years ago.

So is that a myth? That if your child is @ the age of 13.He still has to see his father weather he wants to or not on visitation weekends. Friends & realatives are telling me this not to be true. Including some of these who are divorced with children themselves.Back to the question of Illinois being a no fault state.So if hes clearly @ fault by leaving the family. Withdrawing all the families finances away from what use to be our joint checking acct. Weather it was before or after he served me the divorce papers. Caused incoming floating bills for the house to bounce & the fees were taken out of my ssd. He was told specifically by the ss office not to touch a one dime of my ssd but he did by removing his entire work chk. Which i dont know if that was leagle or not for him to do. Cheated on me. Lied. Has commited fraud against me. Charged up credit cards i didnt know he had & i was ordered to pay 1/2 min on those cards .Stealing marital property.Has been using the property exclusively.Shuts off pilot lite in the winter & raises the thermostat in the summer. Comes in and takes pictures of my personal notes & pictures of if our pets had an accident in the house. Or if there is a bag of trash on the counter.My sons leg getting flee bites. Also he stopped paying on some of the ulilities that he was ordered to pay on etc...So even though i have the facts & pictures & receits & dates. All this is going to amount to in the end is we split everything 50/50? I get the same consequence as he does when this divorce comes to an end?I just recieve ssd & what the judge ordered him to pay me in child support a month, along with him to continue paying on the morgage & utilities. which i stated earlier that hes stopped paying on some of those.The courts ordered him to pay no more than that beings they said there wasnt enough funds left to pay out any additional money for spousal maintance or house maintance. meanwhile there r bills mounding up including ser charges for not paying on them. & consequences of our sons orthodontics not being on schedule.also i can not order my perscriptions thru express script. which i vitally need. I have prexisting conditions & if he takes me off his work insurance, then most co. will not insure me are, if they do i will have to pay hi premiums & deductable & pay for seperate services. Not like before where my husbands insurance is on a group plan. The house is falling apart. It needs a new hot water heater & updates.My husband makes close to 100 grand a year.He has all kinds of freed up money beings he has taken away alot of services from myself daughter & son. Along with signing our son up for hi $ select teams going on outings with his girlfriend buying her & our children expensive gifts.traveling an hr & a 1/2 round trip to come to our property constantly weather its his his turn to visit or not in his 8cylnder truck. giving the kids mall money & bet money etc... & how do you prove all that?This divorce could go on for another two years. what do i do in between time?I could demand from my lawyer that he orders the court to start paying me immediately for spousal maintance & other maintances for the property before this divorce is over, but if the courts said there was no additional money in temp court the 1st time. what are they going to say any different this time?Also he has quit his head coaches job because he is trying to fight for custody of our son. Please help me. I dont know what else to am i allowed to open his mail if im still married to him?


I want to make sure you get the information that you need, and your questions are surpassing my knowledge base. I'm going to open your question back up to the forum. Thanks and please wait for someone to pick this question up.



I am sorry, your previous expert has opted out. In IL, there is no set age where the court will consider the wishes of the child in these custody/visitation matters. HOWEVER, the court WILL consider the wishes of the child in these matters when the court finds the child is mature enough mentally, educationally and emotionally to understand the consequences of the decision they are expressing to the court and when the court finds that the wishes the child is expressing are free from coercion of the parents and are indeed their own wishes. If the court finds the child is sufficiently mature enough, which typically is anywhere between 12-14, depending on the child, then the court MAY consider the wishes of the child, but the law says that those wishes ARE NOT to be the sole determining factor the court uses to determine what is in the best interests of the child and the wishes of the child would only be one of the multiple factors the court considers to determine what is best for the child.

All of the factors you mentioned above, including moving in with a young former student and abandoning the family and refusing to pay any of the child's needs would all be used against him when determining what is the best interests of the child by the court.

Thus, if you present evidence of all of this through your attorney to the court, in most cases like this the court will generally abide by the child's wishes and would likely not force the child to see their father.

I hope you found my answer helpful, but please understand that if you did not get all of the information you may have wanted PLEASE USE THE REPLY TO EXPERT LINK IF YOU HAVE FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS AND NOT THE FEEDBACK BUTTON FOR BAD SERVICE. PLEASE CLICK ON “OK,” “GOOD” or “EXCELLENT” SERVICE. Kindly remember to ONLY rate my answer when you are fully satisfied. If you feel the need to rate anything less than OK, please stop and reply to me via the or REPLY TO EXPERT button with whatever issue or clarification you may need.

I truly aim to please you as a customer, but please keep in mind that I do not know what you already know or don't know, or with what you need help, unless you tell me. Please consider that I am answering the question or question that is posed in your posting based upon my reading of your post and sometimes misunderstandings can occur. If I did not answer the question you thought you were asking, please respond with the specific question you wanted answered.

Also remember, sometimes the law does not support what we want it to support, but that is not the fault of the person answering the question, so please be courteous.


There can also be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break.

You can always request me through my profile at or beginning your question with “For PaulMJD…”