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If you fail to appear at the hearing, the TPO will likely be made into a permanent order. The hearing is the opportunity for both parties to present their case. For the petitioner, it would be the opportunity to present evidence to substantiate her allegations. For you, it would be the opportunity to present evidence to refute her allegations. So, if you do not appear, all the evidence will favor the petitioner and her request for a protective order would likely be granted.
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The TPO can remain in place after the hearing for up to six months. If the petitioner wanted to have it extended further, she would need to take the matter back to court.
It's legally possible though I would suggest that it is unlikely. I've handled hundreds of protective orders and, in my opinion, this sort of remedy is rarely granted. In my experience, this is usually reserved for more extreme cases, perhaps where there is a marriage, minor children and/or rather serious allegations. Based on your statements, it seems inappropriate here.
Yes, hacking someone's email account is illegal.