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Sounds like you're having typical solenoid problems (the relay gets hot when one or more of the solenoids inside the trans gets stuck). If the wrong solenoid is stuck, it can make the engine stall in the same way a manual trans stuck in fifth gear would make an engine stall on take off.
I have all the information you'd need to take care of this issue. However, there is these guys from an independent tranny shop who have put together a series of great videos showing the procedures with great detail. What I'm trying to say is try the videos first. If those don't work for you or there's some detail in them you don't understand, then tell me and I'll get you what you need.
As in any trans diagnosis, the first step should be a fluid flush and filter replacement. If that doesn't free-up those solenoids, then tear into that tranny!
Here are the links to the videos:
video 1 Governor Pressure Solenoid and Sensor Replacement
video 2 Master Solenoid Kit Install
Please let me know if this helps.