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I would like expert in college English Composition II

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to proof read and or...
I would like expert in college English Composition II to proof read and or make corrections on my essay let me know if i did the sentence outline on youth violence right? I don't understand what a sentence outline is.

MY ESSAY:

Youth violence's starts with harmful behaviors in early childhood continuing into teens, - and to adult-hood. Violence impacts children of all ages and backgrounds, from even a safe stable home to those who are less fortunate. Children are introduced to violence through the environment they are raised in. I believe that parents should be role models for their young ones, show attention, encouragement, as well as correcting un-necessary behaviors if needed. In the United States Conference of Mayors, W. (1998) statistics report that school youth violence results from the entertainment industry and media and is drafting a national action plan on school violence and children. We, as adults, must encourage a safe environment for children to grow into, work with schools to prevent violence and increase protective factors.
Children who have been abused by a family member or other people usually are a cause of youth violence among others. Just problems at home in general may also cause youth violence. Linking television violence to real life violence is not conclusive but there is a significant connection. Schleiff, H. (2001) article stated, “that the cable television industry is ideally suited to playing an increasing important role in reducing youth violence, thus, cable operators are especially well positioned to help communities take advantage of the tools that are available.” Children imitate what they see and hear on television so cable operator should assist with encouraging a positive viewing for children. Anything violent causes youth violence, but media violence is a big impact on the youth's minds. Recent school shootings like the Columbine High were a result from the entertainment industry (Streisand, B., 1999). Children at least ten years of age are exposed to different scenarios that are uncensored on television which is pure violence.
Watching movies and television are becoming common entertainment in children's everyday life. The American Psychiatric Association Website reports “children two and eighteen years of age spend an average of six to eight hours each using media (television, computers, video games, etc).” Television enables children to watch any program anytime as well as having digital recorders aide in watching programs at a later time. Some children like to spend their entire time watching television shows, movies, and cartoons, resulting with less or no other physical activities like riding bike, going for a walk, or just out playing with neighborhood friends. Children go through emotional pressure when watching television programs and movies filled with excessive violence and sexual themes. In a report by Albiniak, P. & McConnell, B. (1999) blames television for ten percent of youth violence and identifies media violence as “one of the principal causes of youth violence.” Some children try to imitate a certain action of their favorite character even though they have never really done such act in reality, like smoking. The American Academy of Pediatrics reported almost ten thousand hours of broadcast programming from 1995 through 1997 resulted in sixty-one percent of the programming portrayed interpersonal violence in an entertaining or glamorized manner. The highest television violence was found in children's shows of all which were animation that portrayed one hundred percent and more than eighty percent of violence is portrayed from contemporary music videos. Movies and television programs endanger children's minds as they think that gangsters have glamorous lives. Parents can encourage children that watching educational programs from the Discovery channel and National Geography are interesting to learn or have knowledge as opposed to other programs. Despite the fact effects of television violence cannot be absolutely established, most experts feel there is a connection between youth violence and viewing television violence. Youth violence is a serious problem linked with watching television violence. Most importantly, parents are responsible for the prevention and consequences of youth violence.
Television and movies have positive and negative effects that deeply influence children. There is a link between teens and viewing violence on television and committing violence.


***Can this be checked and done for me today please??? I think my paper looks good the way I wrote it I just have a problem with putting it in sentence outline form correctly. Thank you so much.

~This was the review from my instructor (before this revised upload by me here):

Outline is complete (thesis statement and multiple supporting points), 11 out of 15. You have a lot of information, but it is not in outline form.

Outline headers and formatting are appropriately used, 0 out of 10. Please revise.

Main ideas and key supporting details are included in the outine, 19 out of 25. I think if you put your ideas in outline form, you will be able to organize your information more effectively.
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Homework
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Tutor: SuperiorTutor, Professional w/Adv. Degree replied 8 years ago
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Hello,
I can help you in the grammatical part since I see some errors but I am not sure what this sentence means , "You have a lot of information, but it is not in outline form". What do you mean by outline form?

Good Day.
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
can you please allow someone else to view this that will understand how to do an outline form essay? thank you
Customer reply replied 8 years ago

This was the assignment guideline:

 

Complete the following 5 Steps:

  • Find sources: Using the same topic you previously selected, continue researching your topic and locate sources on it.
  • Evaluate sources: Select material that you think will provide evidence to support your thesis.
  • Draft a topic-sentence outline: Based on your readings of these sources, draft and finalize a topic-sentence outline.
  • Revise and finalize your topic-sentence outline.
  • Prepare a reference page: From your outline, create a reference list of sources (minimum of 5) that supports your topic-sentence outline. Your sources should be documented in APA format for your reference list.

This is my original paper before I revised and post here:

 

 

Television Affects on Youth Violence

Youth violence's starts with harmful behaviors in early childhood continuing into teens, - and to adult-hood. Violence impacts children of all ages and backgrounds, from even a safe stable home to those who are less fortunate. Children are introduced to violence through the environment they are raised in. I believe that parents should be role models for their young ones, show attention, encouragement, as well as correcting un-necessary behaviors if needed. We, as adults, must encourage a safe environment for children to grow into, work with schools to prevent violence and increase protective factors. Children who have been abused by a family member or other people usually are a cause of youth violence among others. Just problems at home in general may also cause youth violence. Anything violent causes youth violence, but media violence is a big impact on the youth's minds. Children at least ten years of age are exposed to different scenarios that are uncensored on television which is pure violence. Most importantly, parents are responsible for the prevention and consequences of youth violence.

Watching movies and television are becoming common entertainment in children's everyday life. Television enables children to watch any program anytime as well as having digital recorders aide in watching programs at a later time. Some children like to spend their entire time watching television shows, movies, and cartoons, resulting with less or no other physical activities like riding bike, going for a walk, or just out playing with neighborhood friends. Children go through emotional pressure when watching television programs and movies filled with excessive violence and sexual themes. Some children try to imitate a certain action of their favorite character even though they have never really done such act in reality, like smoking. Movies and television programs endanger children's minds as they think that gangsters have glamorous lives. Parents can encourage children that watching educational programs from the Discovery channel and National Geography are interesting to learn or have knowledge as opposed to other programs.

Linking television violence to real life violence is not conclusive but there is a significant connection. Schleiff, H. (2001) article stated, "that the cable television industry is ideally suited to playing an increasing important role in reducing youth violence, thus, cable operators are especially well positioned to help communities take advantage of the tools that are available." Children imitate what they see and hear on television so cable operator should assist with encouraging a positive viewing for children. In a report by Albiniak, P. & McConnell, B. (1999) blames television for ten percent of youth violence and identifies media violence as "one of the principal causes of youth violence." Recent school shootings like the Columbine High were a result from the entertainment industry (Streisand, B., 1999). The American Psychiatric Association Website reports "children two and eighteen years of age spend an average of six to eight hours each using media (television, computers, video games, etc)." The American Academy of Pediatrics reported almost ten thousand hours of broadcast programming from 1995 through 1997 resulted in sixty-one percent of the programming portrayed interpersonal violence in an entertaining or glamorized manner. The highest television violence was found in children's shows of all which were animation that portrayed one hundred percent and more than eighty percent of violence is portrayed from contemporary music videos. In the United States Conference of Mayors, W. (1998) statistics report that school youth violence results from the entertainment industry and media and is drafting a national action plan on school violence and children. Despite the fact effects of television violence cannot be absolutely established, most experts feel there is a connection between youth violence and viewing television violence. Youth violence is a serious problem linked with watching television violence.

Television and movies have positive and negative effects that deeply influence children. There is a link between teens and viewing violence on television and committing violence.

Customer reply replied 8 years ago
<p>i would like a new available expert asap! please!</p>
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