Health

Ask health experts and get answers to your health question ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I am 81 yrs old with a sex desire of a 21 yr old, my lady…

Customer Question
I am 81 yrs old...
I am 81 yrs old with a sex desire of a 21 yr old, my lady friend of 14 yr has never refuse to having sex with me. When we are kissimg I get a huge erection, but when I lay down on the bed, the erection goes away. Whats happening there? We do oral sex (me to her, then her to me) but the big problem there is that I can not ejactulate, Is there any thing I can do to help that problem?
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Health Question
Answered in 5 minutes by:
4/1/2012
Health Professional: 911Doctor, Doctor replied 6 years ago
911Doctor
911Doctor, Doctor
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,094
Experience: Board Certified Emergency Physician
Verified
911Doctor :

Hello and welcome to JustAnswer,

911Doctor :

well yes, in fact...

911Doctor :

there is lots to do

911Doctor :

but the place i need for you to help me start is with a few questions...

911Doctor :

are you there?

911Doctor
911Doctor, Doctor
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,094
Experience: Board Certified Emergency Physician
Verified
911Doctor and 87 other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Health Professional: 911Doctor, Doctor replied 6 years ago
Sir,
I did not see you in the chat session.

You are describing something called 'ANORGASMIA', literally, the inability to have an orgasm.

You need, especially at age 81 WITH the ability to archive erection AND the desire intact, to see a urologist.

THIS ARTICLE HERE DOES EXPLAIN THE MOST LIKELY CAUSES
and as you can see you will need a specialist to give you a good exam and hopefully help you to fix this problem as it must be VERY frustrating. I have taken the liberty of quoting from the above link to show you what the most likely candidates would be for you..

THE BELOW IS DIRECTLY FROM THE MAYO CLINIC ARTICLE LISTED ABOVE...

"

Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Certain birth defects affecting the male reproductive system
  • Injury to the pelvic nerves, which control orgasm
  • Spinal cord injury
  • Prostate surgery, such as transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) or prostate removal
  • Heart surgery
  • Prostate infection or urinary tract infection
  • Neurological diseases, such as diabetes, stroke or nerve damage to the spinal cord

Psychological causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
  • Stress
  • Fatigue
  • Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns

Medications and other substances that can cause delayed ejaculation include:

  • Most types of antidepressants
  • Certain high blood pressure medications
  • Certain diuretics
  • Some antipsychotic medications
  • Alcohol — particularly drinking too much (alcohol abuse or alcoholism)
  • Illegal drugs, including marijuana

For some men, a minor physical problem that causes a delay in ejaculation may cause anxiety about ejaculating during a sexual encounter. The resulting anxiety can worsen delayed ejaculation.

"

A urological surgeon (Urologist) WILL be able to help you and, likely, provide relief. I would start with a urologist and not with your doctor unless your doctor has a special expertise in delayed ejaculation.

I am standing by if you have any questions. Oh, and if you are at a loss as to how to find an excellent urologist near you go to www.healthgrades.com and type in 'urologist' and your zip code... you can then see who is nearby and who is highly rated.

best

Ask Your Own Health Question
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
I take the mayo prints out, I was hoping you could give me anwswers to why I loose my errection when I lay down. And why does it take so long to ejaculate when I am recieving oral sex? The sensation of oral sex is unexplainable it is so great.
Health Professional: 911Doctor, Doctor replied 6 years ago
you are asking me to answer things that a urologist would need to do a physical exam at the least to determine, however, when you lie down you may be experiencing decreased blood flow to the penis, and the way this would be determined is with an ultrasound of the abdomen to check the aorta and the illiac arteries. you are at an age where you could easily have a mechanical blood flow problem. again, this is not something you can diagnose apart from some pretty specific and complicated testing. but my best GUESS based on what you are telling me is that you do have a blood flow problem and if you do it has much more importance than simply an inability to archive orgasm because the kind of obstruction that could cause this in the arteries that supply the penis (cholesterol plaque build up) WOULD ALSO be present in the coronary arteries.

in other words, because you might have a mechanical, blood vessel problem with the penis, you might also have an undiagnosed problem with your heart.... you could be at risk for heart attack.

I wish i could tell you what this is, but based on a story alone my guess is a mechanical blood flow problem. a Urologist will be able to tell with an exam, and, likely, an ultrasound.

best
Ask Your Own Health Question
Health Professional: 911Doctor, Doctor replied 6 years ago
also, even though you do not mention back pain, it is possible that you have a nerve problem form an occult herniated disc in the lower back. this would explain why when you lie down the ejaculatory function does not work as the disk would then be exerting pressure on the critical nerves. again, guessing, but it's a reasonable guess. an MRI would help determine this.

best
Ask Your Own Health Question
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
I feel like I got a suggestion instead of a answer
Health Professional: 911Doctor, Doctor replied 6 years ago
let me ask you this sir,

knowing that diagnosing the cause of anorgasmia includes possible psychological causes, possible mechanical causes (arterial or venous disease), possible neurologic causes (spinal nerve impingement), and even caused from cancer, please tell me how you would like me to answer your question.

I am not being sarcastic, I am pointing out that while it would be great to get the answer to complex medical questions online for 18$, in your case, and with any complicated medical condition, the best we can do here is point you in a reasonable direction knowing that specific tests will be needed to get to the cause.

for instance, one of the things that will need to be done in your case is a digital rectal exam so as to see if the prostate is enlarged or, possibly, cancerous. as good as technology is, there is simply no way to do this particular exam on the internet.

as it stands I have told you what you need and hopefully saved you two or three doctor's visits by pointing you directly to a Urologist. I think this is helpful but you may disagree. If so, please let me know and I will open this question up for other experts.

Best
Ask Your Own Health Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a health professionalLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask 911Doctor Your Own Question
911Doctor
911Doctor
911Doctor, Doctor
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,094
5,094 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Board Certified Emergency Physician

911Doctor is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Family Physician

Family Physician

Doctor (MD)

5,660 satisfied customers

Emergency Medicine and Family Practice for over 26 years

Dr. Ketch

Dr. Ketch

Doctor

102 satisfied customers

Medical Degree, Former Assistant Professor at School of Medicine at Yale University

DrRussMD

DrRussMD

Doctor (MD)

5,096 satisfied customers

Practice Director

Dr. Arun Phophalia

Dr. Arun Phophalia

Doctor (MD)

19,857 satisfied customers

MBBS, MS (General Surgery), Fellowship in Sports Medicine

Dr. Chip

Dr. Chip

Doctor (MD)

14,249 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs of Family Practice

Dr. Mark

Dr. Mark

Doctor (MD)

6,253 satisfied customers

U.S. Physician/Surgeon in Neurosurgery

Dr. Gupta

Dr. Gupta

Doctor (MD)

5,053 satisfied customers

Vastly experienced MD Physician with 19 years of experience.

< Previous | Next >

Related Health Questions
The left side of stomach right above the hip has been
the left side of stomach right above the hip has been irritating me for the last 3 days. It happened right after I had an erection and I had previously injured my penis before about 4 months ago and w… read more
Dr. Arun Phophalia
Dr. Arun Phophalia
Doctor (MD)
Post-Doctoral Degree
19,857 satisfied customers
I've had difficulty maintaining an erection a couple of
I've had difficulty maintaining an erection a couple of times. There doesn't seem to be a problem once the actual intercourse starts, but up to that point the erection seems to subside very quickly. I… read more
Dr. Chip
Dr. Chip
Doctor (MD)
M.D.
14,249 satisfied customers
Iam wondering what i should do about my just about sexless
iam wondering what i should do about my just about sexless marriage,my wife is 49 and has been in menopause for 2 yrs iam 61yrs old in good shape,anyway her desire for sex is gone unless i pursue her … read more
Dr. Arun Phophalia
Dr. Arun Phophalia
Doctor (MD)
Post-Doctoral Degree
19,857 satisfied customers
I am 51 years old now and my sex life has always been very
I am 51 years old now and my sex life has always been very important to me with no problems until now. I have an erection at sleep laying down but as soon as I stand up it goes away. Why ?… read more
Dr. Arun Phophalia
Dr. Arun Phophalia
Doctor (MD)
Post-Doctoral Degree
19,857 satisfied customers
I am a cancer surviver so most of my encounters R of a oral
I am a cancer surviver so most of my sexual encounters R of a oral method, unless willing to do shot in penis which I don't like, ok my question is a lady friend has just informed me that she has herp… read more
Salar
Salar
Hospitalist/ Internist
Doctoral Degree
4,404 satisfied customers
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 17 YEARS, AND IM 55 years old and my
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 17 YEARS, AND IM 55 years old and my wife is 40 , and when we have sex , I reach my climax in about a minite and my wife is getting very unhappy with me ,, my ouestion is this,… read more
Schuyler
Schuyler
1,944 satisfied customers
My daughter is 14 yrs old and she has been saying her throat
my daughter is 14 yrs old and she has been saying her throat is sore,but when i looked at it tonight she has a big blister on the right rear side by her jaw bone… read more
Elizabeth
Elizabeth
Medical Support Assistant
Vocational, Technical or Trade Scho
184 satisfied customers
I am 53 yrs old and have very little problem with getting up
hi i am 53 yrs old and have very little problem with getting up for sex with my wife of 50yrs old but we don''t wan''t to use viagra for fear of side effects. our guestion is how can i increase my spe… read more
Dr Anil Kumar
Dr Anil Kumar
M.B.B.S
2,771 satisfied customers
Ok, so this is a huge problem i was hoping would go away but
Ok, so this is a huge problem i was hoping would go away but it has not and is pushing my relationship to the point of breaking. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 solid months now. Not a long time … read more
Dr. Bush
Dr. Bush
D.O.
642 satisfied customers
When i am having sex with my girlfriend, i can get erect and
When i am having sex with my girlfriend, i can get erect and i do get pleasure from it to start off and i get the feeling that i am going to ejactulate but then that goes away and i do not ejactulate,… read more
Dr. Bush
Dr. Bush
D.O.
642 satisfied customers
My boyfriend has erectile dysfuction, when we have oral sex
My boyfriend has erectile dysfuction, when we have oral sex I have trouble getting him to have and orgasm. Why?… read more
V. Yetimyan   M.D.
V. Yetimyan M.D.
Physician
M.D.
1,286 satisfied customers
I have a health problem that i NEED to get answered right
I have a sexual health problem that i NEED to get answered right away because it is hurting my relationship. I have never had a problem getting an erection. When my girlfriend and i are kissing i quic… read more
Melissa
Melissa
JustAnswer! Expert for 1+ Years
Bachelor's Degree
842 satisfied customers
What medical causes can make a 55 year old (pretty healthy)
What medical causes can make a 55 year old (pretty healthy) man have no sexual desire? What tests and treatments are there to help?… read more
Kelly
Kelly
Sexuality Educator and Consultant
Master's Degree
6 satisfied customers
I have a very personal question..im 20 years old and mypenis
I have a very personal question..im 20 years old and mypenis is only about five inches when erected...and as round as a quarter..why did my penis grow as big as other people? I mean i don't mean to so… read more
Dr. Hanson
Dr. Hanson
Medical Director
Post-Doctoral Degree
644 satisfied customers
I'm a 40 yr old male, and when i have sex with my wife,
i'm a 40 yr old male, and when i have sex with my wife, after i reach my first oegasm, i don't have the desire to have sex again. also, it is hard for me to create another erection afterwards. is this… read more
Deborah
Deborah
Nurse Practitioner
1,896 satisfied customers
I am a 43 yo male who's sex drive is gone. I had a high sex
I am a 43 yo male who's sex drive is gone. I had a high sex drive before. In December I took some tostesterone steroid shots for muscle gain. I would think that I would be past that now and back to no… read more
Deborah
Deborah
Nurse Practitioner
1,896 satisfied customers
My partner has expressed to me that he does not have a high
My partner has expressed to me that he does not have a high sex drive. There have been several times when I've expressed the desire to engage in intercourse but he doesnt seem interested. We lay in be… read more
Pauline
Pauline
Doctor
Bachelor Degree
776 satisfied customers
I am a 36 year old female, married to a 47 year old male. My
Hi, I am a 36 year old female, married to a 47 year old male. My question is what could be the cause of him not wanting sex? He will get an erection in the middle of the night when he is asleep, he do… read more
Lindie
Lindie
Healthcare Expert
3,144 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x