I did not see you in the chat session.
You are describing something called 'ANORGASMIA', literally, the inability to have an orgasm.
You need, especially at age 81 WITH the ability to archive erection AND the desire intact, to see a urologist.
THIS ARTICLE HERE DOES EXPLAIN THE MOST LIKELY CAUSES
and as you can see you will need a specialist to give you a good exam and hopefully help you to fix this problem as it must be VERY frustrating. I have taken the liberty of quoting from the above link to show you what the most likely candidates would be for you..
THE BELOW IS DIRECTLY FROM THE MAYO CLINIC ARTICLE LISTED ABOVE...
Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:
- Certain birth defects affecting the male reproductive system
- Injury to the pelvic nerves, which control orgasm
- Spinal cord injury
- Prostate surgery, such as transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) or prostate removal
- Heart surgery
- Prostate infection or urinary tract infection
- Neurological diseases, such as diabetes, stroke or nerve damage to the spinal cord
Psychological causes of delayed ejaculation include:
- Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
- Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns
Medications and other substances that can cause delayed ejaculation include:
- Most types of antidepressants
- Certain high blood pressure medications
- Certain diuretics
- Some antipsychotic medications
- Alcohol — particularly drinking too much (alcohol abuse or alcoholism)
- Illegal drugs, including marijuana
For some men, a minor physical problem that causes a delay in ejaculation may cause anxiety about ejaculating during a sexual encounter. The resulting anxiety can worsen delayed ejaculation.
A urological surgeon (Urologist) WILL be able to help you and, likely, provide relief. I would start with a urologist and not with your doctor unless your doctor has a special expertise in delayed ejaculation.
I am standing by if you have any questions. Oh, and if you are at a loss as to how to find an excellent urologist near you go to www.healthgrades.com and type in 'urologist' and your zip code... you can then see who is nearby and who is highly rated.