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Valarie, Nurse (RN)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 1228
Experience:  36+ yrs exprience medical, surgical, wound/skin care, nutrition, geriatrics, rehab, management
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Mu fiance passed away on the 11th from an infection of her

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Mu fiance passed away on the 11th from an infection of her heart..went to her brain..had renal failure...she had been on antibiotics for 28 days 3 weeks before this...I read online that this staph came back as a super infection...and even with moderen medicine sometimes it can't be stopped..why didn't the doctor come right out and tell us the odds since she was septic was slim to none...we had tried to get her to wake up but she wouldn't...they tried to do dialisis but when they out her on the table she flat lined two days before she died then she had a siezure the night before she was unplugged..what are the odds she knew it was coming back thats why she refused to go to the hospital and what are the odds the doctor told her what would happen if it did come's almost like she knew she was going to die but wanted to be with me so bad she wanted to spend her last few days with me before she was gone...would a doctor had told her the odds of living if it came back....cause they told us her heart was damaged real bad from the second round.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Valarie replied 5 years ago.
Hello. Thank you for coming to JustAnswer with your question, and welcome.

I am very sorry for your loss.

You do not need to feel responsible for your fiance's death. It sounds, from your description, that she was very ill. When someone dies that we care for, we tend to feel like there must have been something we could have done or said to make a difference. There is always someone left behind that feels responsible. But in reality, this is not the case. She died because her body was too sick and damaged to live.

It is possible her doctor told her things that she did not want to say to you. However, most doctors do not want their patients to lose hope, so may not be blunt when it comes to "odds" and "chances" of survival during an illness.

I have worked with many very ill, and dying patients in my life, and I will tell you this. Many people have a sense that their time on earth is coming to an end, whether they "know" it or not.

I am sure you miss her very much. Please accept my condolences....and I really wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.

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