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Are you able to post a digital picture of the mole here?
What is your location?
How is the rest of her health?
Thank you for the extra information. I also wanted to know where you live as there are different protocols depending on your location. Our local dermatology clinic offers a mole clinic once weekly as from the history you mention above, I think the signs are there that this should be checked out sooner rather than having to wait another 3 weeks.
There are definite warning signs, such as the change in shape, the bleeding and the irregularity.
Also history of sun exposure, such as sun bathing is also important. Is the mole on a part of the skin that was exposed frequently or had history of sunburn in the past?
Fast removal of these lesions once they start to change is very important and it may be that a definitive diagnosis won't be made until the results of analysis are back from the lab.
Sunbeds can be a bad idea for people with a family history of melanoma as often it takes only a few more episodes of skin damage to trigger the faulty repair mechanism allowing the development of cancer.
The key thing now is to have this removed and analyzed as quickly as possible. there are different stages of melanoma, and early removal before it spreads has a very high survival rate.
What is worrying you in particular?
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The second part of your concerns I do understand, and I share some of your concern. Staging is a combination of appearance of the melanoma itself and if it has spread. The fact that it is bleeding may be due to ulceration, which is a concern for stage 2 or above, or it may be due to the fact that it was irritated and the top has been scratched off. The prognosis is worse for stage 4 because it has spread through the body , and unfortunately only a CT scan and lymph node analysis is going to allow us to find that out.
However even in stage 4, some patients do have a 5 year survival expectation so you so need to keep positive until we can find out exactly what is going on. If the changes are recent, then that is hopeful that the melanoma (if this is what it is) has not reached the lymph system yet.
I do know how worried you are, the next few weeks will be hard, but once you know for sure what the situation is, then dealing with that will be your next focus. The uncertainty is often the worst of all.
If you need to come on line, to discuss the findings or treatment options then you can reopen your question at a later date once it times out. I may not be online at that time but I do check frequently.
In the meantime, do stay positive and your mother will be in my thoughts and prayers.