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Dr. D. Evans
Dr. D. Evans, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 4464
Experience:  MS in ENT and Head and Neck Surgery , Attachment to Neurosurgery.
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My wife of many years shows all signs of masturbating while

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My wife of many years shows all signs of masturbating while asleep at night or naptime. She denies it and wants me to provide professional information. I see the her body movements and orgasmic sounds. This is hurting our relationships. Can you help me?
Submitted: 10 years ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Dr. D. Evans replied 10 years ago.
Hi,
Since you are online, could you please give some more information:

Since when has she been having this?

Does she actually touch hersel down there or just the bodily movements?

Why exactly do you feel uncomfortable, having erotic dreams is quite common, what is it about this that makes it uncomfortable for you, have you tried to analyse yourself?

I am available online to help you further after I get this info.
Customer: replied 10 years ago.
My wife began doing this about 10 months ago. she had never done this before that I know of. I believe she sometimes physically masturbates, but I am not sure. I know that she frequently is not doing physical manipulation, but has all the sounds and body movements that one has during intercourse.

I have analyzed myself regarding her possible masturbating and feel that since she chooses to make love only infrequently this is unfair to me. This does not come across to me as an erotic dream.

I do hope you can help so that I can respond to her better.
Expert:  Dr. D. Evans replied 10 years ago.
Hi,

I do not think that you should blame your wife or feel uncomfortable about this. She is no doubt having erotic dreams.

Erotic dreams are a natural part of our dreaming, about 8% of our dreams are in fact erotic dreams. It is also now reported that women have as many erotic dreams as men. It is also likely that women will have dreams involving people they have never met, like celebrities, etc. They are also more likely to dream about their husbands in a sexual role. Men on the other hand usually have dreams involving unknown women.

You should not concern yourself about this, this is a natural phenomenon. Your wife cannot help herself having such dreams, yo should be understanding and not blame her about it. This will in no way affect the life between you.

In fact, you should take it as a positive signal that sexual fantasies are still there hidden deep in your wife's subconscious, very likely these fantasies are about yo. You should now try to bring them out.

However, if it is really disturbing, you can consult a psychologist who will be able to interpret these dreams for you.

Please look up these links:
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/sexualdreams.htm
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21905421-23289,00.html

I hope this answer was helpful. If you need more information, feel free to ask. For accepting this answer, please click on the green 'accept' button below. Feedback/Bonus will be warmly appreciated.
Dr. D. Evans and 2 other Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 years ago.
There is a major problem with your response. When I asked my wife that question months ago,she said that to her knowledge she has never had any kind of erotic or sexually oriented dream or thought before going to bed in her entire life. Now what?
Expert:  Dr. D. Evans replied 10 years ago.
This need not mean anything.

Many people, men and women, will not recall their dreams. However, if you wake her up just at the point when she is showing this behavior, she will no doubt be able to recall her dream.

There is also no correlation at all between what she is thinking before going to bed and what dreams she is having.

Try waking her up when she is showing this behavior, she will then be able to tell you about her dream.