Is it proper etiquette to not invite someone to my birthday…

Your simple question is actually rather complicated. The hard and fast answer is that if anyone is part of our clique, even if having falling out of favor with one or some of that group, we must rise above that person's level and be true to our own.

We must always live our lives according to our own standards, right? Our character, the very thing that defines us, is our ability to forgive, to overlook, to be 'better than' anyone who may be offensive, intrusive or simply boorish.

This said, you also have every right to surround yourself, especially in happy circumstances like this party, with people equally positive and uplifting.

So yes, you have every right to exclude this fellow who has his fingers in his ears (won't listen to your feelings about what he did), hands over his mouth (refusing to have a discussion or offer an apology) and blindfold over his eyes to not see what his actions or lack of them have done.

It's a happy, warm and kind event - you are entitled to insure it remains that way and inviting what amounts to a pariah may bring not just you down, but the tension is sure to grow so thick as to effect others.

You are within propriety and your own mental/emotional 'rights' to leave him off the invitation list. This may just be the thing that makes him take those fingers out of his ears and put his big boy pants on and own up to whatever he did.

So have a happy b'day, without this unpleasant guest and rest assured you are well within appropriate etiquette behavior.

You've just made my day; week; month, quite possibly my year. Thank you so much for this.

While I am a minister w/doctorate - I have to wholeheartedly agree with you about organized religion vs spirituality. I further agree with you on every other point you've mentioned (aren't you relieved I'm not 'for' that t'ween girl in the White House with the crazy twitter fingers?)

Hopefully you can continue to find your way down your own path in life. While mom and her mom and her mom before that (et al) sacrificed their 'selves' for others' benefit and happiness, it's what they were taught to do; what they were brought up believing was their part in life and even convinced they should/could be happy, the more they put others first.

Now the thing is, we are all given just one life: Our own. We cannot live another's. We are all given a 'gift from God' being that pesky free will thing. That means we make our own decisions and choices. We cannot make these choices for anyone else; and they (shouldn't) make them for us.

Few people realize that we cannot be "made happy" or angry or anything else by anyone else. We can have the table set by others, but we neither need to sit down nor partake if we don't want to.

So when you're really happy and content, do you look around for someone to blame? Not likely. When you're really upset because some jerk just cut you off, took 'your' parking space or is driving too slow in the passing lane, are they really to blame? Really? These things may be a really strong excuse, but we have that 'free will' thing again. It's up to us how to feel. I try to 'feel sorry for' the other person rather than angry. Anger is the most useless of emotions, right next to 'worry'.

Point being that all the ladies in all the generations before you, knew nothing else but to live for someone else and wear it like a badge of courage. Just because you feel that doesn't fit you is nothing whatsoever to apologize for or feel guilty about.

I will be happy to work with you anytime. You can find me in "Relationships" too - just put 'For August' in the subject line and first words of the first sentence, then just be patient for me to get on.

I don't work for the site; we experts are independents so delays, offers for premium services and all those possibilities have nothing to do with me.

You'll be just fine. You've got this.

- Good morning (Pacific time) and God bless and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your service

Yes, I do not work for the site. However I'm bound by their rules if I want to continue earning here and they forbid me from personal contact (your email on my end is a lot of ***** rather than readable) and the site does insist you start a new question.

I'm so very sorry for this -

If you decide to post new under 'relationships' - be sure to put my name in subject line and in first sentence of the question so no one else takes it. I am honored to work with you however you may need