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Michael
Michael, Librarian
Category: General
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Experience:  20+ years as information professional
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My sisters daughter (my niece) is getting married in

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My sisters daughter (my niece) is getting married in September. I am recently divorced separated for two and a half years. I have been dating someone for 2 years now. I received the wedding invitation without guest. My two daughters received their invitation with their significant others. One of my sons received his invitation for just him my other son (22 years old) was included on my ex-wife's invitation. I felt like an outcast so I sent back my invitation no, I will not be attending. Call if you have any questions or concerns. I am thinking of going to the Church not the reception with my girlfriend. Is that wrong?
JA: The Etiquette Expert will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Etiquette Expert should know?
Customer: Did this go anywhere?
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Also, my daughter told my niece that she cannot be in the same room with me and my girlfriend. So I assume I was invited alone so no issues.

Good afternoon,

Understand your frustration on not having the person you have been dating for over 2 years not included to join you at the wedding of your niece. My first question is if your sister knows that you have been with this person for 2 years but I am going to believe that your sister and niece are aware of her.

As you have already gone ahead to return the invitation, it is not too late to inquire further and see why this oversight was made. I would first speak to your niece and ask politely why the omission of a guest that you would like to bring. If other family members are allowed to bring a guest then asking why you are unable should be asked. Now it could be that only so many can be invited because of costs or size of the place the wedding is being held but let your niece explain that.

See if something is causing not allowing you to bring a guest as my hope is this is not a problem with your niece.

I would also before deciding on going to the Church without your girlfriend is to speak with her first and let her know your thoughts as well as her thoughts. Being open with your feeling and listening to her feelings can make things better and allow for any decision to go or not much better.

Only you can make the choice of going or not and how you feel. Family is important but also your relationship with your girlfriend. Speaking to both family and your girlfriend will help make that decision that much easier.

I hope that this information was found useful as please inform me of any additional questions/concerns you have. Also if you could take a second to rate my assistance so that I know my help was found useful today.

Take care,

Michael

I hope that this information was found useful as please inform me of any additional questions/concerns you have. Also if you could take a second to rate my assistance so that I know my help was found useful today.

Take care,

Michael

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Thank You very much but I realized I left out information. All my family knows about my girlfriend, my daughter (27) is upset and very bitter about her, blaming my girlfriend for the divorce, my sister doesn't want any issues at my nieces wedding so felt it better to not include her. And my thought about going to the church was with my girlfriend. I understand it is not my place to say who is invited and not. My girlfriend says if we or I go to the church then they win the battle
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I do not have time for a call at the moment

Thank you for the follow-up and additional information. Understand now that family members are putting blame on your girlfriend for whatever thoughts they have on your former marriage.

In terms of going or not to the wedding, since this is a major event for your niece that it might then be best to step back and not attend. No winners or losers here as it will be their loss for not having you attend this important event in her day. What I might suggest is to send a nice congratulations card along with a gift as this shows that you do care and that this could open communication in the future toward acceptance between family members and you and your girlfriend.

I hope that this information was found useful as please inform me of any additional questions/concerns you have. Also if you could take a second to rate my assistance so that I know my help was found useful today.

Take care,

Michael

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