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Answered in 2 hours by:
3/4/2013
Kevin, Research Analyst
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 1,900
Experience: Here to assist you with all your questions.
VerifiedGood morning.
I have read over your situation and please let me first start by saying I am sorry about the build up of tensions and resentment that has occurred over the last few years.
You are indeed correct that a partnership should include full disclosure on finances and property. There are many reasons why this needs to be the case and you have touched on a few of them. If something were to ever happen, you would need to know where his investments and savings are and you need to ensure they are properly assigned. If this is not the case then there will be fighting and legal battles if something ever happened.
That statement touches on the property aspect of this situation. Now we look at the emotional state. You feel as if you are not in a partnership, but rather a corporate ladder when it comes to these monetary issues. It creates tension that will not just go away with time, no matter how hard you try, and this is a big reason on why it must be addressed.
Lets focus on him for a moment. In the beginning you both made the decision for you to stay at home and raise the children and he worked to support the family financially. During this time he developed this mentality that this is where his control is, this is what he is in charge of, and this is his "territory". I can not tell you why he has such off investments, along with the involvement of his sister, but in his mind he has a strategic plan and feels like the "boss" of this scenario. This is why he gets so bitter when you bring it up.
You can not just let this go, it will not go. Resentment will continue to build and in an otherwise happy marriage you do not want this to be the catalyst that brings everything to a lower quality. There are so many exciting things you can have ahead of you, your relationship, and family.
This does need to be dealt with, at every level. Find a way to him, even if it means counseling. Get yourself a financial advisor or accountant and maybe they can dig for you, find a way but please do not ignore it.
I hope this has helped you.
I have read over your situation and please let me first start by saying I am sorry about the build up of tensions and resentment that has occurred over the last few years.
You are indeed correct that a partnership should include full disclosure on finances and property. There are many reasons why this needs to be the case and you have touched on a few of them. If something were to ever happen, you would need to know where his investments and savings are and you need to ensure they are properly assigned. If this is not the case then there will be fighting and legal battles if something ever happened.
That statement touches on the property aspect of this situation. Now we look at the emotional state. You feel as if you are not in a partnership, but rather a corporate ladder when it comes to these monetary issues. It creates tension that will not just go away with time, no matter how hard you try, and this is a big reason on why it must be addressed.
Lets focus on him for a moment. In the beginning you both made the decision for you to stay at home and raise the children and he worked to support the family financially. During this time he developed this mentality that this is where his control is, this is what he is in charge of, and this is his "territory". I can not tell you why he has such off investments, along with the involvement of his sister, but in his mind he has a strategic plan and feels like the "boss" of this scenario. This is why he gets so bitter when you bring it up.
You can not just let this go, it will not go. Resentment will continue to build and in an otherwise happy marriage you do not want this to be the catalyst that brings everything to a lower quality. There are so many exciting things you can have ahead of you, your relationship, and family.
This does need to be dealt with, at every level. Find a way to him, even if it means counseling. Get yourself a financial advisor or accountant and maybe they can dig for you, find a way but please do not ignore it.
I hope this has helped you.
I apologize about the breach of security and I will notify my customer support department about what had happened to you. Also, you may want to run an Internet security scan such as a free one from Microsoft called Microsoft security essentials. There could be a skimming software on your computer that records credit card and personal information to send to another individual.
In getting back to your husband, he does not seem like he is taking any steps towards disclosure that you deserve, be patient here but you are going to need a third party to help you and the two that would be able to are a lawyer who can help gain access into your mutual financials, or a financial advisor who may also be able to look into these files.
If money is an issue, some universities and colleges have lawyers who will take on cases for free or very cheap because they need work to record in their profile.
Please let me know if this is helpful to you. Have a great morning.
In getting back to your husband, he does not seem like he is taking any steps towards disclosure that you deserve, be patient here but you are going to need a third party to help you and the two that would be able to are a lawyer who can help gain access into your mutual financials, or a financial advisor who may also be able to look into these files.
If money is an issue, some universities and colleges have lawyers who will take on cases for free or very cheap because they need work to record in their profile.
Please let me know if this is helpful to you. Have a great morning.
Kevin, Research Analyst
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 1,900
Experience: Here to assist you with all your questions.
VerifiedKevin and 87 other General Specialists are ready to help you
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