General

Ask Experts & get answers to your questions - ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

This answer was rated:

I have been married for 28 years and I love my wife very much.

We used to have an...
I have been married for 28 years and I love my wife very much. We used to have an active passionate and adventurous sex life. My wife is going through the menopause and our sex life has stopped. Dead. We still cuddle and hold each other close. I thought that the menopause was a short phase women went through and I hear in the press of older citizens having a fantastic sex life. In my life and relationship this is not the case!! I now hear that the menopause can last 10 years - hot sweats, mood swings etc. I love her very much, its just at 55 I feel I am too young not too have sex anymore. She is my soul mate and I would never ever hurt her, but love and sex are related, or at least they have been all my adult life... Rob (UK)
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own General Question
Answered in 17 minutes by:
3/7/2012
drshs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 1,673
Verified

Dr. Shirley Schaye :


Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about your problem. But, oh, so common a problem for menopausal women. Many women take hormones and then experience no sexual problems. With all the controversy around hormone replacement therapy and it's connection to cancer, I would not recommend this route. Over the years, I have had countless numbers of menopausal women with the issue you present. I have also had a male patient with Kleinfelter's syndrome --- 32 year old who had the same problem --- of no sexual interest. Just to briefly describe Kleinfelter's --- it is when a man has 2 X chromosomes and one Y, instead of one X and one Y. This is genetic, so there is nothing that you can analyze --- it is not psychological. What I suggested to this man to do is even though he has zero sexual desire, he should try by having his wife do enough foreplay on him so that he has an erection. He did this, had an erection but felt nothing during the foreplay. This man has thanked me profusely because he now enjoys a sex life with his wife. So, to cut this long story short, when the menopausal problem came up, I thought why not try this with women but, of course, with differences--- a woman doesn't need an erection. So here's what I recommended and it works! Because menopausal woman are dry, I have recommended that they purchase lubriderm lotion, or some lubricant to apply to their vagina's before having sex. No, they do not feel turned on. Foreplay didn't help much but when they allowed their husbands to insert their penis's into their vagina's that helped and they were able to have orgasms. So basically, what I am saying is she won't feel, pardon my crassness, hot and horny, the way one does pre-menopausally but one could still enjoy orgasms even though the excited pre-turn-on is no longer there. So maybe you can explain this to her. That the issue now is she won't on her own get turned on but if she tries what I am suggesting the two of you can still enjoy a sex life.


Customer:

Thxs Dr. So I need to persuade my wife to try with some lubriderm lotion. She wont feel turned on like in the past precoitally but that if we were to have sex then

Customer:

she would have a nice time. Ok we will give this a try!

Customer:

Thxs for your advice Rob (UK)

drshs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 1,673
Verified
drshs and 87 other General Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Yes, believe me, trust me, it is not uncommon for a menopausal woman to not feel turned on but if she uses a lubricant, she won't be dry and then you will be able to have sex and she will be able to orgasm.

I wish you well!!!!
Ask Your Own General Question
I know you didn't like the Kleinfelter's example but I wanted you to know that that's how I got to suggesting this to women. If it worked for a man, it for sure would work for a woman because, as I said, a woman doesn't need an erection to have sex.
Ask Your Own General Question
amigaloca
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 0
Verified

I suggest a lot of romance and foreplay. Touching the right areas can really arouse a female

Areas are breast and nipples, behind the ear and inner thigh area. Lots of caressing, dirty talk, candles, lube will help. You may try investing in a vibrator to help get her in the mood. If you are not against porn some tasteful porn will help. But just be patient. This too shall pass. It just takes takes time. But try some good ole fashion romance. Buy her some sexy lingerie to help her feel sexy. Try role playing. Try different things to spice up your sex life. Someone maybe you've never tried before but have thought about it. Nothing that will make either of your feel uncomfortable. It's hard to have sex when uncomfortable. Rubbing her feet is a nice touch as well. If I have helped please accept my answer. If you have more questions please write back to me. But give some of this a try.

Ask Your Own General Question
If you like my answer please click accept button. If you don't see answer button you may have to send just answer an email asking the to pay me, Leigh Hockett. If you need additional answers I would be glad to help. Thanks
Ask Your Own General Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with an expertLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask drshs Your Own Question
drshs
drshs
drshs
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 1,673
1,673 Satisfied Customers

drshs is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ellen

Ellen

Consultant

109 satisfied customers

attorney and legal researcher

P. Simmons

P. Simmons

Attorney

149 satisfied customers

45 years old, retired Marine Officer, current attorney

Kim D.

Kim D.

Consultant

34 satisfied customers

Researcher 25 yrs in small and large institutions

SuperiorConsultant

SuperiorConsultant

Internet Researcher

21 satisfied customers

BBA, serving as Marketing Executive and interested in tourism,sports, and anything and everything!

Michael

Michael

Librarian

1,903 satisfied customers

20+ years as information professional

Cher

Cher

Educator-40+ yrs

1,702 satisfied customers

M.A., B.A., Author, Information & Research Specialist

Martin

Martin

Engineer

886 satisfied customers

i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting

< Previous | Next >

Related General Questions
Had a dream where Kim(libra) and Kanye(Gemini ) came up to
Had a dream where Kim(libra) and Kanye(Gemini ) came up to me and asked to see my baby and remember Kanye being naked and he had a huge penis and I kept holding him back from him coming near me. Befor… read more
matt50025002
matt50025002
Owner of a waste management company
Master\u0027s Degree
130 satisfied customers
Good evening. I am wondering about David and if Gina has filled
Good evening. I am wondering about David and if Gina has filled his head with crap because he no longer wants to talk to me? I am confused!… read more
Expert
Expert
FOR AZURE OCEANS: Happy New Year!!! I hope you had a great
FOR AZURE OCEANS: Happy New Year!!! I hope you had a great holiday :) Mine was pretty low key. Since this was the time when I was dealing with when my wife left, the entire holiday has gone completely… read more
azureoceans
azureoceans
7,164 satisfied customers
morning, can you please tell me of my passing date for me going
morning, can you please tell me of my passing date for me going over to the other side,thus is of the most importance to me ,many many thanks… read more
guide-for-light
guide-for-light
2,190 satisfied customers
I have a follow up question..... Does John really like sarah
I have a follow up question..... Does John really like sarah cuz he doesnt always answer her texts. She hates when he doesnt respond to his text... Does he she her as her soul mate for life… read more
Expert
Expert
To Pam: Could you give me some insight into a relationship?
To Pam: Could you give me some insight into a relationship? Me: 7/18/1949; 2:30am; Pittsburgh, PA. Him: 6/24/1947; 12:05 am; Marion, Ohio.… read more
pdheslin
pdheslin
Intuitive Consultant
51 satisfied customers
Hi I have a question. I have feelings for this guy I work with
Hi I have a question. I have feelings for this guy I work with birthdate 01/11/72 who is a good friend of mine and he is married. I feel so guilty feeling this way because I am also friends with his w… read more
Maeve1399
Maeve1399
Psychic Tarot Expert
538 satisfied customers
I am coming up 62 & in a complete yo-yo state of mind as regards
I am coming up 62 & in a complete yo-yo state of mind as regards XXXXX XXXXX old marriage. Two weeks before our daughter's wedding I discovered my husband had been having an affair. I was determined t… read more
Cher
Cher
Educator-40+ yrs
Masters Degree
1,702 satisfied customers
Yes I struggle because my wife does not want to make love more
Yes I struggle because my wife does not want to make love more than 2 a month in a good month. I was very upset and confronted her, she revealed to me that she has to make herself want to have sex by … read more
Expert
Expert
Let me get a new advisor take on the subject, as its almost
Let me get a new advisor take on the subject, as its almost valentines day and the man that I love is with another woman, we have a three year love affair. I trying to gather the strenth to leave him … read more
azureoceans
azureoceans
7,164 satisfied customers
okay rod i know ive been asking you a lot of questions : )....but
okay rod i know ive been asking you a lot of questions : )....but i keep forgetting to ask this question about my freind Ashley Henderson that past away from cancer about 3/4 years ago.... when i was … read more
Psychic_Rod
Psychic_Rod
Online psychic
208 satisfied customers
i would also like to know about the relationship issue you
i would also like to know about the relationship issue you are talking about.if you have requested that i should ask seperately,i hope you will give me some positivity.as i would make some comparism.t… read more
Expert
Expert
Bloo1 My guy friend tells me he likes me. I knew he did when
Bloo1 My guy friend tells me he likes me. I knew he did when we were little kids but I always thought he was a liar. I still feel like he wants sex only what do you see? what are his intentions?… read more
Bloo1
Bloo1
Intuitive Tarot Reader and Psychic
Associate Degree
818 satisfied customers
hi my ex richard 8/15/50 who writes now and then claims how
hi my ex richard 8/15/50 who writes now and then claims how much he still loves me. i dont hear from otherwise although he said he wants to see me before i go to fl end of thid month if we go at all. … read more
Sally
Sally
Psychic Consultant and Writer
314 satisfied customers
Ok, back on the subject of Tim. He told me that he has had
Ok, back on the subject of Tim. He told me that he has had affairs, but none going on right now, just his ex wife living with him. I was worried about the affair part and if he would have inclinations… read more
guide-for-light
guide-for-light
2,190 satisfied customers
Hi Pam! What is the difference between a TWIN FLAME AND SOULMATE
Hi Pam! What is the difference between a TWIN FLAME AND SOULMATE? Regarding the man in my life Carl ... is he one of these?… read more
pdheslin
pdheslin
Intuitive Consultant
51 satisfied customers
What do I need to build a small (fits in a car) PA system
My wife is deaf in right ear. I want to place a microphone on right side of front seat and speaker on left side by her ear. This way, she can drive and we can talk.… read more
Peter
Peter
CEO
Bachelor's Degree
248 satisfied customers
went we die do we know the people that see us at the funeral home
i just want to know went we die do we know the people the come see us or not.allso are we judge as soon as we die or what.… read more
Mic Sayre
Mic Sayre
Human Resources Assistant/Sitter
Bachelor Degree
40 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x