Hello.I feel utterly betrayed by my son and daughter. I

Hello and Welcome to Agony Aunt.

You are certainly not wrong in the way you feel. I think by sending you nasty text messages, she feels empowered. She seems to want to belittle you only to make herself feel better. You are being the better person not showing your children what she has been saying. Every time she sends you a text, I would just forward them back to your ex and tell him to respond to this and that you don't care to receive them or better yet, check your phone settings and see if you can block the messages. Or you could send a reply back that just says "Message Blocked." She may think it's automatic and that it didn't come from you. I bet that would throw her for a loop not thinking you received her insults.
As far as your children, that's a tough one. You do have every right to be disgusted with them. For now, I would ignore it and make like you don't know they get together and make you don't care either. Begin to start a new life for yourself, join something, go out with friends and find other interests. I bet once you start focusing on YOU and taking care of YOU, some of this pain will leave. You children shouldn't be betraying you like that but again, they are just being ignorant about the situation and probably want a relationship with their father but don't know how to do it without the other woman as part of it. Give it time. Once they see that you are well, happy and enjoying the things of life for yourself, they may see the light that this other person is not so wonderful. I don't know how old your children are but if they are adult children and this does not stop, sure, show them the texts and let them see for themselves but I would try all the things I mentioned above before you get to that point. Good Luck and I wish you the best. Brush it off, you are the better person.

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Thanks J!