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Tyler, Professional Researcher & Musician
Category: General
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Experience:  B.M & M.M.. Skilled at in-depth research. Former police officer.
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My wife (second marriage for both of us) left the home and

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My wife (second marriage for both of us) left the home and filed for divorce. She has subsequently changed her mind and wants to save the marriage. We have been going to a faith-based counselor and try to resolve why she left. We haven't really starting talking about how to save the marriage.

I have a couple of questions/concerns.

1. If she had continued to pursue the divorce I would went along with that decision since I was very unhappy in our 2-year marriage. But, since she now wants to work to save the marriage I'm not sure I can file for the divorce. I consider it as sin to leave her. I assume even though she left me I would be the one commiting the sin by filing for divorce. Is my assumption correct?

2. Since we were both previously married am I commiting adultery with her since she divorced her first husband?

It seems like no matter what decision I make I will be commiting a sin. If I file for divorce it's a sin. If I continue a relationship with her I'm commiting adultery.

Can you provide some insights?

Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: General
Expert:  Tyler replied 6 years ago.
Hi Bob,

I can understand your need for clarification as this is a really sticky area in religion. The Bible basically says that the only grounds for separation are adultery or death, otherwise divorce is not ideal. Everywhere you ask you'll get a different answer for this, mostly dependent on your faith. If you're Catholic then divorce is very much looked down upon. Other denominations look at it differently. The Bible can be interpreted so many different ways and each individual's interpretation is going to be different. While the message is pretty clear in regards XXXXX XXXXX you also have to weigh the differences in society and commonality. Even though 50% of marriages end in divorce in the US it doesn't make it better. Many people hastily get married and then consider divorce as a convenience. In my opinion, God wants us to love. Sometimes mistakes are made in marriage but if a divorce is in the past then I would leave it in the past. Jesus said if your hand causes you to sin then you should cut it off. He makes a point but doesn't really want us to sever our hands. You have to weigh the language for yourself. Talk to your priest for some different perspectives. No one person can say what is right or wrong. I hope this helps and wish you the best!

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