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State of DE. EX has not taken my 92K from my retirement

State of DE....

State of DE. EX has not taken my 92K from my retirement account that QDRO approved. Its been 1-1/2 years. I can't touch this money or I must pay taxes on it. How long can Ex take to complete this leg of QDRO. I signed everything it takes. I want to close this issue! I cant afford an attorney anymore. Paid 50K for attorney. Unemployed and she got everything, lost home. Live with parents. No children involved. She's remarried too.

Lawyer's Assistant: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in DE family court?

Family court has approved QDRO and said they cant do anything to make her take the money. They can't answer how long she has to take the money.

Lawyer's Assistant: Have you talked to a lawyer about this yet?

I said that I cant afford an attorney. I'm unemployed and already paid 50K to divorce attorney.

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

Just how long can she take to complete this last step of the QDRO to close out property division.

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Answered in 1 hour by:
3/25/2018
Sean K
Sean K, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 952
Experience: Family Law Attorney in Private Law Firm
Verified

Hi, I’m Sean and I will be assisting you as an expert today. I’m an attorney with more than 20 years of experience. It is my goal to provide a solid overview of your situation. Whether the analysis is good or bad as to your matter, I want to make sure you understand any points you need and that you have options to better address the questions you have. If I am able, I will also provide you with some resources. Please note that the system, independent from me, may offer a phone call. You are not obligated to engage in a phone call, but I am happy to speak if you desire. This is completely up to you.

I am sorry that you are having this issue. A question for you - does your ex have, or did they have, an attorney when the matter was resolved?

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
call me then. Ive answered these questions 4 times.. (###) ###-####

I am so sorry that the answers to these have not come through. I am able to arrange a call, but JustAnswer requires an additional fee for this. I am happy to speak to you, but wanted to let you know that there will be the additional fee. There are a couple of approaches you can use to address the QDRO situation, and I am happy to address them on her and save you the additional costs, but also happy to speak to you.

Let me know and we can proceed however you want.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
What’s the fee for voice to voice

I would submit an answer to this question that would be approximately $25 and then in addition to that I believe $35.

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I am wrapping up something now and could speak if you like in perhaps 15 minutes or continue to address things here.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Just mail me answer thank you
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I just want you to know that we have signed all the papers we need to sign and her trustee has the papers. Our trustee said no one has made any attempt to get in touch with him to transfer the money. Legally we are not allowed to touch the money. It’s all must be done from her side and her trustee. We want to know if there is a statue of limitation of any kind. Or can this go on for the next 10 years in the money just to stare. I want it out of my name and out of my life. If I die the beneficiary is my new wife. I am retired and in my 60s now.

Certainly. And thanks for that follow up information - that helps.

If there was an attorney on the other side of the case, I always recommend a certified letter to them addressing that the QDRO has not been initiated. If there is no attorney, do the same with the former spouse.

Secondly, review the actual order and see if there is a time frame. If there is, that will be the answer to the question. If there is not time frame, then look a bit deeper as sometimes in agreements and divorces there is language separate from the actual division that addresses a specific time frame.

As to a statute of limitations, there is not a set period by which it has to be transferred. Of course you are correct in the understanding that it cannot be used by you, but the way the process works goes directly to your final point.

Now with the new information you provided, it sounds as if you may be beyond some of this and at a stage of wanting to know what happens if she just does nothing.

The majority of the companies that administer retirement accounts and that look at QDROs view them as lifetime options if you will. In short, this is sort of a back door on a statute of limitations.

The process generally goes like this - if the transfer is not done in your lifetime, the retirement account, upon your death, becomes an asset of your estate/subject to any provisions of the underlying agreement with the retirement administration company and not simply a personal asset. It was the personal asset during your lifetime that was subject to division but upon your death would change.

The estate asset would be viewed in total - likely including the amount the ex was to get - and the estate law would look at it as a whole. This is not to say that your ex may not make a claim, but if she did, she would have a rather uphill burden in part having to explain why it was not done in your lifetime. With this it is not unusual for former spouses to lose out on their entitlement upon the death of their former spouse and have the entire retirement account looked at as one asset and for the transfer of the retirement to be pursuant to the terms of any contract with the retirement account, or in your case the provisions of the beneficiary agreement.

It is not a stretch that if the QDRO has not gone through that your new wife gets it all and the former is left with nothing. The main reason for this is that if the company administering the retirement has no QDRO upon which to act, they will view the account on your death as being controlled by their agreement with you which includes the beneficiary provision. Hence no QDRO, the account goes to the beneficiary.

Now, there is a mechanism where you could file with the family court and force her to do the QDRO, but in the past I have always told my client's to wait and see what happens. If they never do the QDRO then there is a chance the funds remain in your plan.

Please note: This is general information for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. There is no specific course of action is proposed and no attorney-client relationship or privilege formed within this conversation.

If you have any follow up questions it would be my pleasure to answer them. As experts we only get credit for the time and effort we spend on our answers if you rate us positively - 5 stars is definitely appreciated but not required! There is no cost associated with you rating me and you can still ask follow up questions after rating me and I will respond.

One final point, there may be a delay between your question and my answer; this is because I'm either not at my computer or helping someone else but rest assured, if you ask, I will provide an answer. Thank you again.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
We would love it if she does not do the QDRO transfer and the funds would remain in my plan. I don’t know exactly what you mean by that but my question is if she does not touch it for two more years is it safe for me to just keep it?I will not send anything to her attorney and I will not force her hand to take the 92k. A year ago they filed a contempt of court claiming I was blocking their ability to get the 92,000. I was never served or contacted and it did not go to court. All I got was a piece of paper in the mail I think as an FYI. I have done everything I was supposed to do anymore. The only thing I haven’t done OK all the taxes which I’m not supposed to. Their side is very sloppy. I have no money for Neacker and me I spent $50,000 on one that did not protect me. This was supposed to be a $71,000 agreement and settlement and while I was standing in front of the judge my attorney whispered in my ear to take what was being offered it was the best I was going to get and it turned out to be $300,000 instead of 71,000. I am now broke And my life has started over again with my new very wonderful wife. The wife divorce was an alcoholic and drug attic and was playing around on me for years and any money out of my account to start your new life. I lived in a personal Nine year hell with her. I’m so glad she’s gone and I really wish she was dead. She didn’t deserve a dime and never work a day in her life. I found out later on if you wanted to marry a man that we support her. I was used from the first day.
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Sorry about the typos. I meant to say that I found out that all she wanted to do with Marry a man that had a lot of money in with support her. She was thesecind mistake of my life. The first mistake with my first wife who is also a drug attic and alcoholic and ran around on me for year. She is dead.

With that as a background, I would absolutely wait on her. If she is not doing anything, give it some time and reevaluate. I am reluctant to tell you a specific line in the sand, but there have been cases where people have supposed to have done something and as a failure to do so, when they came around to finally doing it, they have not.

But to re emphasis, with that background and what you went through, don't do a thing to help her and don't spend another penny of money on getting her to do it. Don't make it easy for her.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Are you a DE attorney? Your someone we’d want if we need an attorney!!

I am on the east coast, but don't practice in Delaware. Fortunately the QDRO laws are all set at a federal level so the application of the law is similar in all jurisdictions. As well in these situations the waiver argument, what you are letting develop, is something that can happen over time. That being said, you can always request me here (once you rate me, you can list me as a favorite and then in the future you can route questions for me.) Something I regularly do is provide memos for customers to have to base court arguments on, to take to attorneys in the future or even as the basis for correspondence.

And thank you, ***** ***** flattered.

Sean K
Sean K, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 952
Experience: Family Law Attorney in Private Law Firm
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DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

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