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I have an ex parte on me. how can I possibly get this

I have an ex...

I have an ex parte on me. how can I possibly get this removed.

Lawyer's Assistant: What state are you in? It matters because laws vary by location.

I am in mo. i have a lawyer, but she is out of town right now and i cannot speak to her. i had a drinking problem and when i was drunk, we (the wife and i) would argue and yell and scream. we both have had issues with it in the past. nothing physical took place, just yelling and screaming. i went to treatment for alcohol and completed the program. (inpatient) and i am now doing out patient and going to AA meetings. I have been sober for 32 days and i now have a sober link device to prove to everyone that i am staying sober. we have 2 children a 9ry old son and a 14 month old daughter. i have not been able to speak to my wife, except to talk about the children. she did file for a divorce, but i am not willing to give up on us. i love my family and i had a drinking problem, not a wife/family problem. i am doing all the right things now and staying sober. my ex parte date has been moved back 2x's now.

Lawyer's Assistant: What steps have you taken so far?

Treatment, staying sober, soberlink device, and lawyer

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

In the letter that my wife wrote to get the exparte, she left out that she was drunk on almost every occasion as i was too. she was not drunk during the last incedent, but almost every scenario she put in the letter, she was drunk too. she also failed to mention that she cheated on me just before we got pregnant with our first son, and she had a 6 month affair on me a few yrs back. i had an alcohol problem that i now am in full recovery and know 100% that i am done drinking. it feels great to be sober. i do get to see my kids, but i really need to talk to my wife. i love her and our family and i do not want to get a divorce. i have changed my life over the last 32 days and i will never go back to drinking. i now have a path laid out that i just need to walk, which i have been doing and will not go back. i love my wife and i know we could work on things if she would open her heart again

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Answered in 6 minutes by:
3/22/2018
Sean K
Sean K, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 465
Experience: Family Law Attorney in Private Law Firm
Verified

Hi, I’m Sean and I will be assisting you as an expert today. I’m an attorney with more than 20 years of experience. It is my goal to provide a solid overview of your situation. Whether the analysis is good or bad as to your matter, I want to make sure you understand any points you need and that you have options to better address the questions you have. If I am able, I will also provide you with some resources. Please note that the system, independent from me, may offer a phone call. You are not obligated to engage in a phone call, but I am happy to speak if you desire. This is completely up to you.

First of all congratulations, it appears you are well on your way to putting your past behind you. Keep up the good work!

Let me ask you about the ex parte order - what was ordered specifically? Restraints or any matters dealing with the divorce?

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
i do have a lawyer working on this case. she is out of town and this situation is driving me nuts. i can see my kids and have a curbside drop off/pick up. i can call the house phone to talk to my son. hard to see my 14 month old as she is so young. my wife and i can communicate about the kids only via text and email. (lawyers worked all this out) i do not want the divorce as i have changed my ways. i could understand all of this if i didn't do something about my problem, but i have and i am no threat to anyone. even in the letter for ex parte my wife wrote, she stated that all of our problems were fueled by alcohol and now i am sober and will remain. i love being sober, wish i would have done this a long time ago. my wife and i have been together for 12 years. i am not willing to give up hope on us. i need to be able to speak my peace to my wife. original date was 3.7.18 for the exparte, which i then learned that the day prior she had filed for a divorce. then it was extended until today, and my lawyer could not make today's court date, so it was extended to 4.19.18. i am sure my lawyer thinks that was a good idea, which it may have been. she also suggested sober link to prove that i am staying sober. i have no problem with that what so ever, due to the fact that i am never going to drink again. i have got that in my head/& soul now. obviously i do not like the extra $300/mo i have to spend on it, but.... i am sure that my lawyer is telling me to do all of this, so this can be dropped, but i am not sure... i just feel terrible not speaking to my wife. i cannot send a letter or flowers or contact her in anyway. my son is 9 and i pick him up from school daily and drop him off at the house, curbside only. he leaves somedays with tears in his eyes and asking me to come in and talk to mom. everyone knows that i am not drinking and have changed. i started working out again and quit drinking and i have lost 20+ lbs and i am feeling and looking a whole lot better, but inside i am going crazy not being with my family and speaking to the one i love. i do not want a divorce at all. i made vows to my wife and god that through thick and thin i would never give up.

So if the Ex Parte was entered to day, it will, absent agreement or Court order stay in place.

The first step would be to address it with your attorney when they return.

That being said, the real issue here is not the Ex Parte - that is a temporary problem. The real thing you need to focus on is how to address the issue of the relationship with your wife and your family.

With or without an Ex Parte, that likely would never happen today.

Here is what I have encouraged folks like yourself to do.

First, set out a three stage plan - short, mid and long term.

Set goals, set ways to measure those goals and periods to evaluate the goals

Organize them as to tasks that are just for you - (daily schedule, AA meetings, etc.) and goals including others (Time with your children, work on your marriage, etc.)

Incorporate as part of this an olive branch for your wife. Offer to attend marriage counseling, consider attending individual counseling prior to marriage counseling initially.

Be as detailed as possible.

The beauty of having a lawyer is that he can communicate with her lawyer and you can, once you get this together let your attorney know that you want to make sure your rights are protected in the case but you absolutely want to work on the marriage. Have your attorney get this information to her attorney.

Understand that what is needed many times in these cases is a plan. Sometimes you even have to show that you are making progress on the plan. Sometimes the other party needs to be shown how hard you are fighting for your marriage and how committed you are to it. The beauty of it is you have all the power to show what you are doing.

I would encourage you to give this a try. It won't make the Ex Parte go away this weekend, but if you show how you have changed it may work to resolve the divorce process and bridge the path to your family being back together.

Please note: This is general information for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. There is no specific course of action is proposed and no attorney-client relationship or privilege formed within this conversation.

If you have any follow up questions it would be my pleasure to answer them. As experts we only get credit for the time and effort we spend on our answers if you rate us positively - 5 stars is definitely appreciated but not required! There is no cost associated with you rating me and you can still ask follow up questions after rating me and I will respond.

One final point, there may be a delay between your question and my answer; this is because I'm either not at my computer or helping someone else but rest assured, if you ask, I will provide an answer. Thank you again.

Sean K
Sean K, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 465
Experience: Family Law Attorney in Private Law Firm
Verified
Sean K and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Thank you for the advice.

You are certainly. Sometimes I find that the short term may be difficult but the long game is where effort is best made. It is also what will surprise the other side most.

Best of Luck!!

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Thanks again Sean

Certainly and thank for rating me.

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Sean K
Sean K, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 465
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DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

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