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My husband has been emotionally and occasionally abusing me…

My husband has been...

My husband has been emotionally and occasionally abusing me for the past seven years. The constant abuse has damaged me in every way. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I've been depressed for years. I no longer get dressed, I stay in my p.j.s 24/7, I don't see my children or grandchildren very often because I become very anxious if I have to leave the house. I spend the majority of my time in my room in bed because of the depression and I'm afraid to be around him because every time I am, he criticizes me and always says very hurtful things which makes me cry and run to my room. This has been going on so long, it takes very little to upset me. He tells me that if I don't stop crying he will call the police. He has called the police many times, tells them I may be suicidal and they handcuff me and take me to a mental hospital which traumatizes me and I come home more depressed than ever. The abuse is never-ending. He has destroyed our family, and I no longer celebrate holidays. I am completely opposite of the person I once was. I feel like my life is over, he has destroyed me.

Lawyer's Assistant: What steps have been taken? Have any papers been filed in family court?

I saw a family law attorney, but I was told that emotionally abusing your spouse is not illegal. He has gotten worse lately. I think he either has Alzheimer's or dementia. I can't talk to him or reason with him. Can you tell me what steps I can take to have him removed from the house and possibly get a restraining order? I'm such a mess I have very few days I am able to function enough to leave the house and look for answers. I'm 64, so adult protective services can't help me until I'm 65 in October. I would leave him, but I have nowhere to go. I'm trapped with this monster and can't find a way out.

Lawyer's Assistant: Family law varies by state. What state is he in?

California

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

He tells people about my depression making me sound like a psychopath. He lies and makes himself sound like the victim.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I meant to say "emotionally and occasionally physically abusing me"
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
In February 2016, my husband and I were arguing. I told him to get out of my room. He wouldn't leave so I put my hands on his chest and tried pushing him out. He grabbed my upper left arm and squeezed it. It felt like a vice on my arm. Then he slammed me against the wall. My arm was throbbing. I sat down and started crying and telling him how bad he hurt my arm. A neighbor heard me crying and called the police. When they arrived, one of them talked to my husband outside and the other came to my room and talked to me. I told him what happened and my arm was killing me. I told him I needed medical attention. He looked at my arm and said "it's not broken" Then the other policeman came up to talk to me and the other to my husband. After that, they both came to my room and told me they didn't believe me and said they were arresting me. My husband stood there and watched them handcuff me and didn't say a word. On the way to jail I repeatedly told them my arm was killing me and I needed medical attention. They ignored me. I was booked, etc. My husband bailed me out. He told me all he told them is that I suffered from depression, leaving out the part about squeezing my arm. The next a.m. I had a huge bruise where he squeezed my arm. I called the police and asked them to come to my home and take a picture of my arm. They took pictures. The next day I saw my doctor. He said my arm bone was bruised. It would be painful for at least a month. I had no mobility in that arm.my attorney had the photos and Dr.'s report which he took to court. The D.A. dropped the case. A few weeks later I got a letter from the police department stating that I was not arrested, I was detained. I didn't know you had to pay bail when you are detained.
Answered in 1 hour by:
3/22/2018
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 21,314
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
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Hello: This isCustomer Welcome to JustAnswer! I am reviewing your post, and I will post my response very shortly. Thank you for your patience.

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I am sorry to read about your difficulties.

It appears that Police realized their mistake and did not want to be sued for false arrest. The officers automatically believed your husband because he is just like them. That was quite unfortunate.

If he has physically abused or threatened bodily harm more recently, you can use that to apply for a Restraining Order to force him out of the house. You can also apply for a Restraining Order if his constant emotional abuse has led you to believe that he may harm you. Click here for more information on Restraining Orders.

You may also seek for the dissolution of your marriage and ask the Court to allow you to stay at the house because you cannot afford to move out. You should also seek spousal support. Click here for divorce forms and instructions.

Under the circumstances, it may be prudent for you to retain the services of a a local divorce Attorney to assist you with the case.

You can use the following sites to find local Attorneys:

Lawyers.com

Justia.com

Findlaw.com

Best wishes,

A 5-star positive rating to my response is appreciated so that I can receive credit for responding to your post. There is no additional cost to you for giving a positive rating. However, that is how I get paid for answering questions on this site.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 21,314
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Thank you for being so thorough with your answer. It is very helpful. I plan to hire a divorce attorney very soon. I got a referral to her from my daughter's friend who is a criminal defense attorney. I feel like I will be ok and I feel more secure after reading your answer.
Thank you,
Marilyn Byrne

You are quite Welcome! and thank you very much for your positive rating.

Take care,

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Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 21,314
21,314 Satisfied Customers
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.

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