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RobertJDFL, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 15773
Experience:  Experienced in multiple areas of the law.
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My wife is cheating on me. We have two teenage daughters and

Customer Question

My wife is cheating on me. We have two teenage daughters and own our home together. What should I do?
JA: Family law varies by state. What state are you in?
Customer: Minnesota
JA: Have you talked to a lawyer yet?
Customer: No
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: She has stated to me she wants to leave.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  RobertJDFL replied 10 months ago.

Thank you for using Just Answer. I am a licensed attorney and look forward to helping you. I am reviewing your question and will reply back shortly.

Expert:  RobertJDFL replied 10 months ago.

Good evening,

I'm very sorry to hear about your circumstances. What you should do isn't up to a lawyer, but about what you want, and what your wife wants.

I get the impression that you want to save your marriage, in which case marital counseling may be your best option. Of course, that only works if your spouse is willing to go to counseling and work on things. So really, the first thing that you need to do is have a heart to heart with your spouse and find out where they stand on your relationship.

If she won't consider counseling, then perhaps the two of you talk about separation. In Minnesota you can simply separate, or either one of you can petition for legal separation. Legal separation is a lot like a divorce, in that you divide your property, decide issues of custody, visitation, child support, etc, just like in a divorce, but you remain legally married (great if you are wanting to work on your marriage, or one of you wants to stay on the other's insurance, etc).

Option three, if she won't consider separation or counseling is a divorce. Minnesota is purely a "no fault" state, so you cannot allege adultery as grounds. Minnesota is also an equitable distribution state, so all marital property (with limited exception) acquired during the marriage would be split in an equitable, meaning fair, though not necessarily equal, manner.

There's obviously a lot of information here, and I don't know what you want me to focus on. Please reply if you need me to clarify something or provide additional information. Happy to assist further. Thank you.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
I dont think our marriage can be saved. We are both in our mid 50's. My main concern is the kids. I think she wants to leave us all.
Expert:  RobertJDFL replied 10 months ago.

Oh my, that's awful. If the marriage cannot be saved, then you can petition the court for divorce and seek custody of your children (she would generally be given liberal visitation unless a court found there was a good reason not to do so). You could also seek child support.

Right now, you both have equal rights to the children. If your concern is that she will take the children with her, once the divorce is filed, you can file a petition for a temporary order of custody so she cannot remove them.

Expert:  RobertJDFL replied 10 months ago.

Can I clarify anything for you about my response, or provide you with any additional information? If so, please reply, and I'll be more than happy to assist you. Otherwise, please remember to leave a positive rating for me by clicking on the stars at the top of the page, as that is the only way experts like myself are credited by the website. Thank you.