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I have a question .. my son turned 15 on Aug. since then he…

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I have a question .. my son turned 15 on Aug. since then he stopped communicating the email and messages with me.

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Submitted: 8 months ago.Category: Family Law
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
HiI have a restraining order against me based on false information and I have a a court hearing on Mar 22The judge gave me digital and phone access in previous case conferenceSince Aug my child who turned 15 years stopped talking to me even though we used to have weekly chats on iPad regarding science math and space.I was granted visitations starting last Saturday and my two other children showed up except for my 15 year old son.I suspect alienation by the mom afraid that he might choose to move to live with me. Or maybe he is angrily of the situation of divorce. I have no clue. When I call my other children and ask to talk to him, he runs away as one of the clay children told meWhat are my options and how can I reconnect to my child?
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
typo corrections*
I suspect alienation by the mom who could be afraid that my child might choose to move to live with me. Or maybe he is angry of the situation of divorce. I have no clue. When I call my other children and ask to talk to him, he runs away as one of the my children has told me
Answered in 28 minutes by:
12/17/2017
Family Lawyer: Sue, Family Law Attorney replied 8 months ago
Sue
Sue, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 624
Experience: Family Law litigator for over 35 years
Verified

Hello, I’m here to help you today. I'm a licensed attorney with over 35 years’ experience in family law. I'll review your question and be right back.

Sue

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Family Lawyer: Sue, Family Law Attorney replied 8 months ago

This is general information and not legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is formed. This is for educational purposes only.

Sad to say, this behavior is not uncommon in children of divorce. Even children from "intact" families can become uncooperative and non-participatory in their teens, as I'm sure you've witnessed.

While it's entirely possible the mother is exercising negative influences, it's actually also possible your son is being a pretty ordinary teenager.

While it's incredibly difficult, the best way to deal with adolescent acting out like this is to maintain an undemanding, calm, friendly and welcoming attitude. That would mean suppressing your (very appropriate) anger and disappointment in your communications with him and your other two children.

You could ask the court in March for an order for family counseling with your 15 year old. The problem is at that age, children "talk" with their feet. So if he doesn't want to attend counseling, he won't.

I'm sure this is quite painful. I've seen it occur often. If you can maintain that calm, welcoming attitude, even if you have to wait for some years, the child often does come around.

If you don't mind my asking, are you in counseling yourself? It may help process the difficulty of this estrangement and provide you some support.

What do you think?

Sue

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
No actually I am not attending any foundlingIt is just difficult to see my child with very good relationship suddenly stopping all communication as soon as he his 15, at a legal age where he can choose not to meet with me. I am not ruling out teen age effect but I am not ruling that the mom negatively influenced him. Last time I met him only in 5 months ago, he was eagerly happy to see me brought his magma and told me he plays music so well that he likes to show me. He also brought chess to play together. It just does not add up that a good relationship, turns sour just right after his 15th birthday for no apparent reason even though I have been separated from his mom for a year so far.My lawyer told me that I can bring a motion for child counsling if he did not show up for two visitations. But you are telling me that it will be up to him to attend. Knowing him, he will not attend. Why would he?I am so sad I have to wait maybe years and I will loose that happy moments with him!Any thoughts?It's
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
counsling
Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Probably the only solution is to gain custody? Right?
Family Lawyer: Sue, Family Law Attorney replied 8 months ago

Many people try counseling and it's definitely worth a shot. If your 15 year old won't come into family counseling with you, perhaps he'd be willing to attend individual counseling and that counselor could talk to your counselor. Often the courts can play a crucial part in ordering the parents sign consents so the counselors can talk with each other.

Given the additional information you provided, it certainly does seem suspicious that there was this sudden shift.

Sue

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Family Lawyer: Sue, Family Law Attorney replied 8 months ago

Is there anything else I can help you with?

This thread remains open about a week. Please let me know if you have other questions.

My goal is to provide you with excellent service. I hope I have provided you the information you were seeking. If you’re satisfied with my assistance, your 5-star rating at this time is most welcome. If you need more help or have any further questions, please do let me know so I can continue to assist you.

Sue

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