Family Law

Family law questions? Ask a family lawyer online.

Ask a Lawyer,
Get an Answer ASAP!

My ex and I have had an informal agreement of him taking my…

Customer Question
My ex and I...

My ex and I have had an informal agreement of him taking my son who is 7 for thanksgiving and I have him christmas and christmas eve. This year he is saying he isn't going to give him to me on xmas and xmas eve. I gave him Thanksgiving. Our court ordered custody plan is split the days of holidays. Taking shifts. For the past 6 years of my sons life I have always had Christmas. My specific question is what happens if I don't follow our order and go on the what has been in the past?

Lawyer's Assistant: Because laws vary from place to place, can you tell me what state the court order was issued in?

Yes of course. I live in San Diego Califrona

Lawyer's Assistant: Have you talked to a lawyer yet?

Just a friend who is a lawyer but he does not specialize in divorce

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

No not really

Submitted: 4 months ago.Category: Family Law
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Answered in 4 hours by:
12/13/2017
Family Lawyer: Lucy, Esq., Lawyer replied 4 months ago
Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31,936
Experience: Attorney with experience in family law.
Verified

Hi,

I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear that this happened.

It's possible that if you show up to take the child for Christmas Eve, the father may have taken the child elsewhere. Or he may refuse to give him to you or even call the police. There's no way for me to know how likely that is, because it depends a lot on his personality. Since you have a custody order providing for shared holidays, if you were able to pick up your son without incident and he sent police to your house, they are not likely to take him away. (But make sure you have the order handy, just in case.) Police don't have the authority to decide which parent is right in a custody dispute if the order isn't clear.

He could also an Order to Show Cause, asking the judge to find you in contempt for taking your son. However, the judge isn't likely to find contempt when the order says that you'll share holidays, and he already got Thanksgiving. There really isn't another big holiday in 2017 for you to "share," so by refusing to cooperate, he's the one actually in violation of the order. If he does take you to court, the judge may clarify how sharing should occur.

The other option is to go to court and file a Request for Order, asking the judge to modify the original court order so that it's explicit who gets the child on which holidays, or to set up some kind of swapping schedule, so you don't have to rely on an informal agreement anymore. That's not likely to be decided before Christmas, but it could help you avoid repeating this issue next year.

If you have any questions or concerns about my response, please reply WITHOUT RATING. It's important that you are 100% satisfied with my courtesy and professionalism. Otherwise, please rate my service positively so I am paid for the time I spend answering questions. If you are on a mobile device, you may need to scroll to the right. There is no charge for follow-up questions. Thank you.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Hi I’m confused by the reply to my email. I have my son the weekend before Xmas and Xmas eve. Our custody order saiys spilt holidays but we have always done I get Xmas and Xmas eve and he gets thanksgiving. For the last four years. If I decide to not return him on Xmas eve what happens if my ex calls police
Family Lawyer: Lucy, Esq., Lawyer replied 4 months ago

I'm sorry. I didn't realize from your question that the children would already be with you.

As long as you have the court order showing that you share the children on holidays, police shouldn't do anything if you do not take them to their father's house. They can't choose how to interpret the order. It would be up to the father to take you to court for contempt.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Even though it says my shift specifically for Xmas eve is 8 to 1 on custody order? Xmas day 8 to 1 also.If I keep him can they do anything? I did give him thanksgiving assuming I would get Xmas xmas eve
Family Lawyer: Lucy, Esq., Lawyer replied 4 months ago

I didn't realize that split custody included the hours each of you was supposed to have him. That's different.

If the order explicitly gives times, other than the ones you've been following, you'd need to have something in writing from the father. Police can only follow the language in the order.

You can file a Motion asking the judge to change the order to what you've been doing. You can also ask the judge to give you additional hours to offset what the father did with Thanksgiving. But if he does send police to your house after 1 pm on Christmas Eve or 1 pm on Christmas Day, they will probably take your son and give him to his father.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thank you. ***** were to go to hotel and not be home? Would that look bad in court ?
Family Lawyer: Lucy, Esq., Lawyer replied 4 months ago

That could make it look like you were intentionally refusing to follow the order.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Lucy, Esq., Lawyer replied 4 months ago

Your informal agreement is a defense. It's up to the judge how much weight to put on that, though, especially if the father denies making it.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Lucy, Esq., Lawyer replied 4 months ago

Do you have any other questions about this?

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Was this answer helpful?
Ask Lucy, Esq. Your Own Question
Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31,936
31,936 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Attorney with experience in family law.

Lucy, Esq. is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it.

LeeMichigan

Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises!

Gary B.Edmond, OK

My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer.

EricRedwood City, CA

I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight.

MichaelWichita, KS

PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent.

Three H.Houston, TX

Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!!

ElaineAtlanta, GA

It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem.

TonyApopka, FL

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ely

Ely

Counselor at Law

11,875 satisfied customers

Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.

LawTalk

LawTalk

Attorney and Counselor at Law

9,025 satisfied customers

30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Attorney

7,856 satisfied customers

I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.

Tina

Tina

Lawyer

6,562 satisfied customers

JD, 17 years legal experience including family law

Barrister

Barrister

Lawyer

3,415 satisfied customers

Attorney with 17 years experience

P. Simmons

P. Simmons

Lawyer

3,398 satisfied customers

16 yrs. of experience including family law.

RobertJDFL

RobertJDFL

Lawyer

2,787 satisfied customers

Experienced in multiple areas of the law.

< Previous | Next >

Related Family Law Questions
How to contest a divorce if uncontested final divorce decree
how to contest a divorce if uncontested final divorce decree was signed due to manipulation to sign the uncontested final divorce decree … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
32,134 satisfied customers
If you were married and then divorced and in that divorce
if you were married and then divorced and in that divorce you got the house time passed and you remarried the same person now you're contemplating divorce again who does the house belong to?… read more
ScottyMacEsq
ScottyMacEsq
Doctoral Degree
17,769 satisfied customers
I'm divorcing my husband in Wisconsin, a no fault divorce
I'm divorcing my husband in Wisconsin, a no fault divorce state. He tried to hide 80,000 of credit card debt from me and has probably spent 100,000 in credit card interest in our marriage. I probably … read more
S. Kincaid
S. Kincaid
Doctoral Degree
2,402 satisfied customers
Family/Divorce/Custody lawyer please. I filed for divorce in
I filed for divorce in 2015. Trying to reconcile with my wife and conceived a child in February 2016 and he was born November 2016. Called it quits again in March 2017 and I have done pro se ever since. … read more
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent
Managing Partner
Doctoral Degree
2,871 satisfied customers
I am using online divorce for an uncontested divorce and we
I am using online divorce for an uncontested divorce and we want as simple a dissolution as possible -- I answered all questions and then received forms but some answers are incorrect -- we already ha… read more
S. Kincaid
S. Kincaid
Doctoral Degree
2,402 satisfied customers
Trying to file an uncontested divorce. I am confused with
Trying to file an uncontested divorce. I am confused with Obligee and Obligor. Mrs. makes 4 times more than Mr. We are trying to split custody equally. Who is Obligee vs Obligor … read more
Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq.
Lawyer
31,936 satisfied customers
I am divorced. It was not a contested divorce, and there is
I am divorced. It was not a contested divorce, and there is no alimony or child support (no children). My wife included language that I had to pay back her Dad for a personal loan he got on his own fo… read more
LegalKnowledge
LegalKnowledge
Juris Doctor
29,388 satisfied customers
My ex and I divorced in Arapahoe County and the divorce
My ex and I divorced in Arapahoe County and the divorce order was "guaranteed". At the time of the divorce I was a professional making good money. For the last three years, I have been on Social Secur… read more
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent
Managing Partner
Doctoral Degree
2,871 satisfied customers
My husband filed for divorce. I contested the divorce,
My husband filed for divorce. I contested the divorce, because he has the house, 2 of 3 cars, the business and approximately $30k in cash at home, but he doesn't want to give me anything. I am going t… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
32,134 satisfied customers
My boyfriend is getting split custody of his daughter (about
my boyfriend is getting split custody of his daughter (about 30-35 hrs a week). His daughter lives with her mother, can he move 2.5 hours away and still be allowed to have shared custody? provided tha… read more
Nisha Jones, Esq.
Nisha Jones, Esq.
Juris Doctorate
2,596 satisfied customers
I was recently divorced, in the divorce my husband kept the
Hi, I was recently divorced, in the divorce my husband kept the leased car and they did not remove my name, with a clause saying that he would be financially liable. He passed before the lease was up,… read more
Bruce Schreiber
Bruce Schreiber
Juris Doctor
302 satisfied customers
I am a divorced male in Illinois. At the time of the divorce
I am a divorced male in Illinois. At the time of the divorce the wife signed a quit claim deed on the house so that I might try to refinance or short sale the house. The mortgage is in both our names.… read more
INFOLAWYER
INFOLAWYER
Partner
Doctoral Degree
58,097 satisfied customers
My ex husband and myself have split custody of our children
My ex husband and myself have split custody of our children The child he had custody up is now 19 years old and in college. Currently on her other children without responsible for half of all the medi… read more
Ely
Ely
Counselor at Law
Juris Doctor
11,875 satisfied customers
This is about a divorce: family divorce counseling I read,
This is about a divorce: family divorce counseling I read, is effective but 38% of those couples still get a divorce. This brings me to a question which you can consider hypothetical, but I want to kn… read more
INFOLAWYER
INFOLAWYER
Partner
Doctoral Degree
58,097 satisfied customers
I have a split custody arrangement with my daughter's
I have a split custody arrangement with my daughter's mother. One week with me, one week with her. She has a boyfriend that lives with her and he is abusive to her and they have a very combative relat… read more
Legal Eagle
Legal Eagle
Attorney
Doctoral Degree
10,236 satisfied customers
My wife and I have agreed to split custody 50/50 and split
My wife and I have agreed to split custody 50/50 and split all costs of raising our 2 sons (7and 9) The form question asks which parent the child stays with the most (primary custody), There is no opt… read more
INFOLAWYER
INFOLAWYER
Partner
Doctoral Degree
58,097 satisfied customers
I have split custody of my 2 kids, 1 is diabled can i file
i have split custody of my 2 kids, 1 is diabled can i file for ssi or medicaid? … read more
lawyerJ
lawyerJ
Juris Doctorate
163 satisfied customers
My husband and his ex wife share split custody of their 2
My husband and his ex wife share split custody of their 2 children. He pays her 25% of is income in child support monthly. Is he required to pay an additional amount for summer child care? … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
32,134 satisfied customers

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x