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My husband and I are currently going through a separation. I…

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My husband and I...

My husband and I are currently going through a separation. I have not yet filed for legal separation but I will be soon. He is in the court house now filing a petition for custody and I am outside the court house waiting to give him the kids because he is going to watch them while I go to a parent-teacher conference with one of my other kids from a previous marriage. I am considering going inside and filing a petition for custody also. I make more money than him, and we split our time with the kids(two children, both boys, age 2 and 11 months) about evenly. My 2 year old verbally expresses that he does not want to go with his dad because he is not a very involved parent.

Lawyer's Assistant: What steps have been taken? Have any papers been filed in family court?

No, he is inside now filing a petition though

Lawyer's Assistant: Family law varies by state. What state is he in?

I have the paper wok for a legal seperation, I was going to fill it out Friday and hand it in. paper work*

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

New york state

Submitted: 10 months ago.Category: Family Law
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11/15/2017
Family Lawyer: P. Simmons, Lawyer replied 10 months ago
P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 37,956
Experience: 16 yrs. of experience including family law.
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Hi, My name is***** am an attorney with over 16 years experience. Hopefully I can help you with your legal question.

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Family Lawyer: P. Simmons, Lawyer replied 10 months ago

I am sorry for this dilemma. But not sure I understand your specific question. Are you and he in agreement with respect to this pending divorce?

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
we are in agreement regarding the divorce. We are planning on going to mediation. he got upset with me because we were in a disagreement about who has the kids when, so he came down the courthouse and is filing a petition for custody. Should I go inside and do the same? He recently went to the police and had me charged with harassment in the third degree. He said that I hit him when I was drunk. He picked me up from a friends house where I had been drinking and when we got home we began arguing. He tried to pick me up and carry me inside. And then he said I hit him but I dont remember that happening and he had no physical marks. He called the district attorneys office and asked to withdraw his statement. Because it is domestic they can't because I believe New york state will pick that up, but Im sure they will take that into consideration. I have two boys with him age 2 and 11 months my 2 year old verbally expresses not wanting to go with his dad and cries.
Family Lawyer: P. Simmons, Lawyer replied 10 months ago

Thanks
There is no good reason for you to file a separate motion...either of you can file and the court will consider it the same way (you do not get any form of "advantage" by filing).

The good news is that the standard the court uses for this issue (child custody and support) is "what is best for the children".

NOT what is best for mom, or dad, or anyone else. The court will take action to ensure the children are protected.

And the court will consider evidence like, for example, that one of the children are worried about spending time with him.

I would consider hiring a lawyer for this part of the proceeding (the child custody hearing). That way you ensure the judge gets a full picture of what is going on

Please let me know if you have more questions. I am happy to help if I can. Otherwise, please rate the answer so I may get credit for my work.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
What will happen today if we both file for custody? That is my main concern.
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Will one of us be given temporary custody? What will happen in regard to that.
Family Lawyer: P. Simmons, Lawyer replied 10 months ago

The court will schedule a hearing...and at the hearing the court will adjudicate (decide) the issue.

Generally speaking, unless there is evidence that the children are in imminent danger teh court will NOT issue an order until there is a hearing

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
If we have joint custody, as the parent who makes more money (i make about 84k a year, he makes about 35-40k a year) will I be obligated to pay child support?
Family Lawyer: P. Simmons, Lawyer replied 10 months ago

Most likely, yes...the court will determine support based on several factors, but the primary factors are

1. Relative income (who makes more)

2. Relative time with the children (the more time with the children, the less you pay)

3. Specific needs of the children

So if you get the children for equal time, I would expect the court will order you pay support.

Please let me know if you have more questions. I am happy to help if I can. Otherwise, please rate the answer so I may get credit for my work.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Say we get equal custody, and there are no special needs of the children outside of normal requirements. Given I make about 84k and he makes 35-40k, what, ballparked, could i expect to pay for child support? We only live ten minutes away from eachother right now so transportation should not be a huge factor, we both have reliable vehicles.
Family Lawyer: P. Simmons, Lawyer replied 10 months ago

Less thank $2K but more than $1K / month is a good estimate

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Is there any ways I can reduce or minimize that?
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
He filed for temporary primary custody, they said because he filed first he was granted that.I thought you said they wouldnt do that?
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
If we have custody why would i have basically pay all his bills? hes only paying about 2500/month for his bills.
Family Lawyer: P. Simmons, Lawyer replied 10 months ago

The way to reduce the amount is get more time with the children.

When is the hearing scheduled?

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
I am not sure yet. He filed for temporary primary custody, they said because he filed first he was granted that.I thought you said they wouldnt do that? If we have joint custody why would i have to basically pay all his bills? hes only paying about 2500/month for his bills. How do they compute that? That would end up giving him more money than me!
Family Lawyer: LegalGems, Lawyer replied 10 months ago
LegalGems
LegalGems, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 14,565
Experience: Experienced Family Law Attorney
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Hi; I see your prior contributor opted out.

Here is a child support calculator that can be used to estimate the child support order the court may award.

It is possible the court ordered temporary orders pending an actual hearing'

The court will hold a hearing to determine which custodial arrangement will further the best interests of the children; the factors the court will take into account are listed and explained here.

It is helpful to hire an attorney so at the hearing they can present the facts in the light most favorable to your position.

I certainly wish you the best on this.

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Thank you and take care.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
That seems very unfair...considering the children want for nothing, is there any way to demand proof of what he spends the money I would be paying him on?
Family Lawyer: LegalGems, Lawyer replied 10 months ago
Generally no. But the court is allowed to deviate from the guidelines and order an amount adequate for their needs.
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