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I am in the middle of a custody battle with my controlling…

Customer Question
I am in the...

I am in the middle of a custody battle with my controlling and manipulative ex. He doesn't like that my new boyfriend stays over when my kids are with me. Can my boyfriends being here and sleeping over hurt my case? We are In New York State.

Lawyer's Assistant: Have you talked to a lawyer yet?

Yes but she has not been available to consult with since my ex and I visited a family psychologist Friday. I felt trapped and agreed I would no longer have my boyfriend stay. My boyfriend just relocated here from out of town And now I am putting him out on the street.

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

My boyfriend and I have only been dating a few months and my ex sees that as part of the problem. Nothing else.

Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Family Law
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Answered in 5 minutes by:
9/30/2017
Family Lawyer: RayAnswers, Lawyer replied 7 months ago
RayAnswers
RayAnswers, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 47,115
Experience: 30 years as a family law lawyer .
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Hi and welcome to JA. Ray here to help you today.Please bear with me a few moments while I review your question and respond.

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Thank you.
Family Lawyer: RayAnswers, Lawyer replied 7 months ago

Yes it can hurt you in a custody case with young kids.If he can stay elsewhere until this is resolved it would be better for you.Understand that it can effect here, judges vary on whether it does or not.You don't want to risk loosing the kids of child support as well.So at least try to look like he is not living there while all of this is going on.Until it is resolved is is potentially harmful to your case with young children involved.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.I hope you can resolve the matter.

I appreciate the chance to help you and prayers to you this can all be resolved.

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Family Lawyer: RayAnswers, Lawyer replied 7 months ago

Reference

Best Interests of the Child

In all states, child custody and visitation issues are decided according to “the best interests of the child.” This means that the judge who hears the case will consider all evidence before deciding who will provide the better home. Although mothers are more often granted physical custody than are fathers, particularly for young children, there is no longer an automatic preference in favor of women. Today, many men win physical custody of their children.

Frequently asked questions about custody and visitation include:

• If I live with a man, can my children be taken from me?

• If my husband is an alcoholic (or a recently recovering alcoholic), will he be able to get custody of (or visitation with) the children?

• I was once arrested for possession of marijuana; does this mean I can’t get custody?

• My income comes from Social Security disability and other public programs, while my husband has a well-paying job. Does this mean he’ll get custody of the kids?

The answer to all of those questions is, “It depends.” The law doesn’t say that adultery, smoking marijuana, or even being involved in antisocial conduct means you can’t win, or will lose, custody. In addition, the fact that one parent’s income is much larger than the other’s isn’t necessarily a reason the court will use to award the more affluent parent custody. Many factors—not just whether or not you’re living with someone else—are related to what is in a child’s best interest. The court’s decision will normally favor the parent who will best maintain stability in the child’s life. The way each parent lives can be an important factor when a court decides custody issues. In any given case, the judge may consider one person’s lifestyle to be more in the best interest of the child than the other’s.

In a few states, a judge can use a parent’s cohabitation to deny custody. For example, an Arkansas court stated “a mother’s ongoing relationship was immoral, failed to set a proper example for the children, and resulted in harm to the children.” (Nix v. Nix, 706 S.W. 2d 403 (Ark. 1986).) Courts in a few other states have similarly disapproved of cohabitation and have forced a change in custody, especially where the children were aware of their custodial parents’ intimate conduct.

In general, however, the bot***** *****ne is that the judge, as a human being, will apply his or her own standards and prejudices when deciding which parent gets custody. Some judges don’t like unmarried persons living together, even though society no longer considers living together the “no-no” it was 30 years ago.

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/living-together-book/chapter8-3.html

Thanks again it was my pleasure to help you.

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