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We have visitation with my son. His behavior has become

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We have visitation with...

We have visitation with my son. His behavior has become increasingly alarming and his mother is not handling it. He was hospitalized for cutting himself a year and a half ago. After he was released she did not seek further care. He steals, smokes, drink and tells alarming lies. She does nothing. He threatens my wife and step kids. This passed weekend my granddaughter who lives with him and his mother told me she is scared of him because he hurts her. My ex said well i make him stay away form her. He NEEDs help. I have tired to get it and pay for it and she agrees at first but then rrefuses to get the records he needs to have to get hte help. what can i do. Can i refuse to have him come to my house until he gets the help he needs. This weeked he asked if we had fire nsurance - seems harmless except one of my step kids said he had been lighting stuff on fire in his room. We are truly scared of him and she will not accept his issues and get him help. Shes too worried about her daughters dance classes and keeping the grandchildren so that IF their father even gets his act together he can get them back. Im at my wits end. Neither of my older children graduated high school, she let them both drop out and hes on the same path. We tried to get custody but he doesn't want to live with us because he cannot just do whatver he wants like he can there.

Lawyer's Assistant: Because education law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?

Virginai

Lawyer's Assistant: Have you talked to a lawyer yet?

No we've tried to get a ocnsultation but the time frame is far off - we need action now

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

Our most basic question is can we just not pick him up if she wont get help. We have visitation only

Submitted: 10 months ago.Category: Family Law
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9/29/2017
Family Lawyer: Longhorn Lawyer, Lawyer replied 10 months ago
Longhorn Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 13,566
Experience: Knowledgeable in all aspects related to family law matters.
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Hello! Thank you for using Just Answer. My name is***** have over 12 years of legal experience.

During this conversation, you might experience some delays while I work with several customers at the same time, or I am preparing a response to you. Please do not click Opt Out expecting a faster response. This results in more delays while waiting for another Expert. I assure you I will help you in due time. Thank you in advance for your patience and understanding.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
sounds like you are already too busy
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4,655
Experience: Partner at Kent Law Group, LLC
Verified

Hello. My name is ***** ***** I'll be happy to help you if you're not already working with someone else. It appears that there is someone else that you've been conferring with but this question went into our general queue so if you can please respond with whether you're opted out the first expert we can continue. Once you start working with someone it's good to have continuity - which is why I ask.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
i do not want him - he sent a generic im busy but will get with you soon
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

Fair enough :) I'll be happy to help you. What is the visitation schedule you currently have with your son?

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Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

And is it a formal visitation schedule?

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
every other weekend
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

Did you do it through the courts or did you and mom agree to it on your own?

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
through the courts - the kids whole lives she has been dragging me there
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

In general, you don't want to just abdicate responsibility for your child - that's not good for you or for them and the courts don't love when parents do that as I'm sure you can guess. That being said, you do not want your family in harm's way as a result of the other parent turning a blind eye towards what is happening. What you want to do is go through the courts to get your child help. Since you've demonstrated that you have a willingness to pay for treatment that's something you'll want to tell the court.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
problem is i cannot afford an attorney and last time i went without one i was completely screwed over. I CANNOT put my wife and step kids in danger - i cannot leave the house for even one second when he's there as he threatens my wife - she is SCARED to death of him - he steals every time he's there - several hundred dollars and cell phones and jewlery - his mom ignores it all or says he doen't know better
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
shes' even ignoring him abusing her 6 year old grand daughter
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

How old is your son? I really, really get that you're frustrated - and first and foremost you have to consider the safety of your family (particularly other children in the home). IF the safety of your family warrants not having your son in your home you CAN choose to do that - but it would be advantageous to contact the courts regarding this so your son can get some help. You don't need to hire an attorney - you can do this on your own. But for the safety of the other children you may want to do *something*

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
hes 17 - ive been trying to figure out what to do at the court - clerk told me to prepare and file a motion and an order but its way too hard to figure out
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

The most important thing is safety - so you'll want to make sure your immediate safety issues are addressed. Obviously nobody sane would want you to have someone in your home who steals from you or sets fires (or threatens to set fires or asks about your fire insurance). So you'll want to tell mom that you're not going to have him in your home if that's what you feel is the best thing to do. If you need help with an order and a motion we can help you on here. It's complicated the first time you do it but after that it's really not. And if you want to ask for me (Olivia) directly I'd be happy to help you with it.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
this "child" recently went on facebook and told everyone that he had been in jail because i walked in on my wife having sex with someone else and tried to beat her and said he tried to defend her and he had beat mt up so bad i was in the hospital - he needs MENTAL help
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
i need to do something - how do i get to where you help me prepare those
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

For starters, you'll want to go to the court to pick up those forms. They'll give you pro se litigant motion papers to fill out and then you could come on here, and we can talk through how to fill them out. Makes sense?

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
they didn't give me forms - told me to find them online
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

Let me see if I can find you the forms online.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
thank you
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

I'm on the VA court website: http://www.courts.state.va.us/forms/district/jdrcourt.html#dr

Also, take a look at the VA State Bar: http://www.vsb.org/site/sections/family/resources-and-links There is a lot of good information... let me see if I can find the specific form though.

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Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

It looks like this is the form you need: https://www.vbgov.com/government/departments/courts/juvenile-domestic-relations-court/Documents/court-forms/dc635.pdf

You can access it from either site and fill it in right there.

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Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

That last line where it says "Other - Explain" is where you would ask for ANY relief you're looking for.

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Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

But in the meantime, you're well within your rights to try to keep your family safe from your 17 year old. And I'm here if you need anything :)

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
this is the form that link took me to ***** CAUSE SUMMONS OR CAPIASwhat is the name of the ones i need?
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
i found the motion form and downloaded it - she says i need to do the order as well for the judge to sign?????
Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

I don't see a sample order on the VA page but you can ask them for a sample there at the courthouse.

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Family Lawyer: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 10 months ago

They almost always have samples. I'm not going to be available for the next 30 min or so but I will get back to you again if you respond.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
ok - i will go BACK to the court nad ask for one
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