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Was just wondering the specifics of visitation at mothers…

Was just wondering the...

Was just wondering the specifics of visitation at mothers discretion

Lawyer's Assistant: Family law varies by state. What state are you in?

Virginia

Lawyer's Assistant: Have you talked to a lawyer yet?

Well this is what i obtained through court but was unsure the details. I didnt ask afterwards. I shouldve

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

Well my ex is in and out jail, is doing drugs and even talking on the phone with his dad has caused turmoil. So seeing what rights i had as far as phone calls a denyinv visitation for previous reasons

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Answered in 2 minutes by:
9/27/2017
FamilyAttorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1,552
Experience: Owner, attorney in private practice, appellate attorney, GAL & former trial lawyer, licensed for 38 years
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Hello and thanks for using Just Answer. I’m a licensed attorney with 37 years’ extensive experience in family law, trials, appeals, contracts, landlord-tenant, and other types of law.

This is general information and not legal advice. No specific course of action is proposed, and no attorney-client relationship is formed. This is for educational purposes only.

Also, I’d like to review your question for a minute and type your answer. If I am not here for a few minutes, that means I am typing your answer. THIS IS NOT YOUR ANSWER YET so please allow me time to type it up for you. It may take a few minutes, so please understand that. Thanks!

If a request for a phone call comes in, it is from the site, not from me. I will be happy to have a phone call with you but only if you want it. If you would like to request a phone call, that’s fine too. There is no pressure and we can stay here if you’d like.

Just clarifying - you are the mother here, and your ex husband is in and out of jail? Is that correct? Thank you.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
to both questions

Okay thank you.

I see you want a phone call here. There seems to be a customer service issue, so if you contact customer serv. they may be able to help you with that. For now, we can stay here.

FamilyAttorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1,552
Experience: Owner, attorney in private practice, appellate attorney, GAL & former trial lawyer, licensed for 38 years
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Joycelaw
Joycelaw, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 124
Verified
Phone call session started

And you have the child or children, I presume.

If your ex is in and out of jail, is doing drugs, and his life seems to be in turmoil, I'd be very careful about allowing visitation.

You should be asking for supervised visitation, so at some point you should be trying to amend the order.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
One child.
Ive said no to visitstion considering the circumstances. As well as phone calls.I just want to ensure im within my rights for both.I had requested supervised but they said this was good for now.

Someone else got the phone call with you before I did, so you will have two of us helping you. That's always good for you because you get two perspectives. Two lawyers can offer two different opinions.

So I'll continue answering here.

You want to get an amended order which provides for supervised visitation. This order is too open-ended. Sometimes at the discretion is a good thing in the order, but when you have an ex who has all these issues, you don't want the kids with him when he's got these issues. So, when you can, bring the case back to amend the order to supervised visitation only.

Then you can avoid worrying about the safety of the child(ren).

How do I know this?

Because I'm a guardian ad litem in my state. I represent children.

Thanks for that information. If you were unrepresented, that's probably why you got no supervised visitation. That's crazy, because in this situation, you should have supervised visitation. If I were the GAL on your case, I would want supervised here.

So if it's at your discretion, tell him (when he asks for visitation) that it's at your discretion, which means whenever you see fit, and that you want to supervise it. Or you can have a relative or trusted friend supervise it. An open-ended order like this is open to all kinds of interpretation, but you can try to insist upon supervised visitation, for a few hours only. That's what an open-ended order allows you to do, so long as you're not denying visitation. But the child should not be around him right now. The child may not be safe, so I would hold off. Has he asked you for visitation yet?

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Ive had help on here previously but with a different matter

Okay, thanks.

I would suggest that at this time, you can hold off on visitation because it's not safe.

You can allow and should allow phone contact once or twice a week because that will ensure your child's safety. As long as he doesn't psychologically abuse or harm the child, at least he's getting a phone call.

I would suggest that you wait for visitation until you know he's off drugs or he's not going to harm the child.

I have to say this was a bad order by the judge but I've seen these before, unfortunately.

Please let me know if there's anything else I can answer for you. I'm always happy to do so. You can come back here at any time, free of charge, for a follow-up question or two.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
He has asked for visitation. And on occasion callls but is not consistent, very sporadic. Hes homeless and has no fixed address. I had representation, my lawyer said that it would be a cost to have supervised visitation. So it went from him having visitation to visitation at my discretion in a public place. Only thing that he has unlimited access wasschool and medical.That was my concern. They

If he is homeless, say no to visitation! That's a dangerous situation. He's homeless, uses drugs, goes in and out of jail. I would not allow visitation at this time unless it were supervised. While the order doesn't specifically state that, a guardian ad litem will probably back you here.

He can have school and medical records, no problem. He can have phone calls but if they become an issue for your child such that your child gets upset to talk to him, then that's a problem. How old is your child?

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And your lawyer should have pushed for supervised, I'm sorry to say. I'm looking out for the child, and that's not what I would have done.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
allow the calls even if he only tries once or twice 2-4 months at a time? It does appear upsetting for our child. He kicks, throws the phone or hides it. Hes 4I will work to get amended.

Yes, I see what you're saying. I would do this. Tell him he has to call regularly or not at all. That's what I would suggest, because it's upsetting to the child. I expected that, just didn't know how old the child is. If your child was much younger, that might be okay, but by 4, the child gets upset because daddy is already showing he doesn't care, and that's awful for the child. So that's what I would suggest re: phone calls.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
I feel you i appreciate your advice and tbats how i feel. I dont want this to be an additive detriment to our child nor with his situation hes a potential danger to everyone including myself which is why ive said no, but want to make sure im staying in guidelines and the best way to help keep our child safe

Right. I agree. If you need a guardian ad litem, next time, you can ask for one. You may want a more aggressive lawyer as well. In any event, my concern is to keep your child safe, and that includes psychologically, so yes, limit the phone call to either regularly or not at all because this is going to impact your child.

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Good luck to you and I hope that this works out for you. He's a danger, obviously, and this is not the way for a parent to behave, but you'll have to show that you offered him regular contact or not at all. Keep a diary/journal of what you offered him so you have a record for the court, okay? Let him know he has to call regularly or not at all, and he has to allow supervised visitation or he won't be able to see the child because of his current state. Be well!

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In the journal, write what day, what time, and what you said, what you offered. If you have emails, keep them; if you have texts, make hard copies of them too. Keep copies of his answers also.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Ive said similar on being consitent and he hasnt but i see what you and another lawyer called and said so i will work with my lawyer to better amend the order.
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Thank you for your time and information.

You're most welcome. Best of luck to you! I'm happy to help you again at any time.

You can come back here for a free follow-up which is what you can do with the person you are chatting with (me :)

You can come back here at any time for a follow-up question and I'm happy to help. Have a great day!

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