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My ex continues to harass me with filing false child

Customer Question
protection/adult protection claims on me...
My ex continues to harass me with filing false child protection/adult protection claims on me. He has also lied to my children so much about me they are refusing to come to my house. Can I sue him for defamation?
Submitted: 10 months ago.Category: Family Law
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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
He has told my girls I am in danger of killing myself all the time. (not true) That I used to hit and bite him (false). THat I had affairs (nope) etc. It has gotten so bad my girls are actually scared of me. I am the most mellow, chill parent who would NEVER harm their child in any way. I don't know how he was able to convince them of all of these things
Answered in 13 minutes by:
9/23/2017
Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago
Jessica B
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1,804
Experience: Attorney at Donald B. Linsky & Associates, PA
Verified

Hello. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed attorney. I hope I may be of assistance with your issue. First let me tell how sorry I am that you are going through this. Unfortunately many divorced parents experience this type of situation.

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

What you are experiencing is Parental Alienation. Alienation, by definition, means to isolate one thing from another. In the case of parental alienation, it means steps (often planned and malicious ones) a parent takes to isolate the child or children from the other parent through words and conduct and to create a division, estrangement and even hostility between the victimized parent and child.

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

Disparagement is negative comments about the other parent . It is not limited to direct parent to child comments. Disparagement can come in the following forms:

  • Parent to child comments that insult, scorn or otherwise speak negatively of the other parent. The topics can include the reasons for the separation or divorce (blaming the other parent for it), stating the other parent doesn’t love the child or family, of just open and inappropriate criticism of the other parent’s actions.
  • Allowing others (generally planned) to make disparaging comments about the other parent in the child’s presence. Grandparents and siblings are most often the vehicle for this type of disparagement.
  • Entrenching the child into the divorce or custody case. This happens by the alienating parent sharing details (often distorted or false ones) of the child custody case, the parents’ respective positions and statements in the divorce. The purpose of this entrenchment is to influence the child against the other parent by portraying one parent (the alienating one) as the “good” parent and the other as the “bad.”
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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

Parental alienation occurs when one parent undermines the authority of the other. In an ideal custodial arrangement, the parents (though living separate and apart), are a united front when it comes to the children’s education, safety, welfare and activities.

Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case and, in alienation cases, one parent influences the child to believe the other parent’s authority is not important and can or should be disregarded.

Undermining authority is a form of alienation because, over time, the perpetrating parent has the child believe that there is a right way of parenting and a wrong way and the “wrong way” by the parent being alienated makes that parent less capable of parenting, the subject of ridicule and far less important in the child’s life. The end goal is simple – If children are made to believe one parent does not act in their best interest, they will often rebel against that parent. Bonding and respect are lost and the result can be disastrous if allowed to fester.

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

There are several ways you can combat parental alienation.

Contempt – A court can find the alienating parent in contempt of court and impose sanctions against them.

Custody modification – The court can change the physical or legal custody of the child if they believe the alienation is causing harm.

Reunification therapy – Most common, the court will mandate reunification therapy. In that circumstance, counselors are involved with the family in an attempt to counsel both the parent and the child to reunify the child with the alienating parent.

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

Here are a few tips:

Keep a journal

Write down the dates that the custodial parent blocked your access to the child, write down the situation, and write down the excuse used. If you end up back in court, you can point to the specific dates and reasons in your journal to show the court where you tried to see your child. This allows the court to see habitual and continual excuses by the custodial parent.

Ask to see child in writing

When you are trying to prove parental alienation, ask to see your child via text message or email. This provides concrete evidence you can show the court proving your desire to see your child. By sending your request in writing, you can avoid a he-said/she-said situation. Emails and text messages can help you catch your ex in a lie or help you show that they use the same repeated excuses for denying custody.

Seek counseling

Going to a therapist can help identify and end alienation, but it can also provide additional support to your case if you go to court. Showing that you took steps to improve the situation will strengthen your case, and inviting your ex to attend will give an example that you are working to co-parent effectively. Even if he declines, that is a point in your favor.

Remain persistent

It is so discouraging when your ex refuses to let you see your child. When your calls are getting blocked and he is stonewalling any and all of your communication efforts, it can all seem pointless.You can’t, however, give up. Your child needs you in his or her life, and the second you quit trying to be a parent is the second your ex can say, “See? Mom doesn’t care.”

Keep fighting and keep doing what you know is right. Have faith that your efforts will eventually be rewarded.

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

Please let me know if you need any clarification of the information provided or have an additional question. Also please do not forget to rate my answer. Thank you!

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
The thing is he has convinced them these things about me are true and they refuse to see me. He will "let them come if they choose to". He doesn't have to do anything any longer, it is my girls "choosing" these things.Because he is lying and defaming my character to my children and outside government agencies; could I send him a cease and desist letter and then sue for defamation?
Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

Generally no you cannot sue for defamation; however, he can be held in contempt of court by the family court judge. Also if the parent alienation is so bad the family court judge may remove all parental rights and restrict his contact with the children. In many situations the judge will order supervised visitation. This way there is an independent party with the father, preventing him from saying bad things to the children.

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

Please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. Please don't forget to rate my service. Thank you!

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

I have not heard back from you and I wanted to follow up. Is there anything else I can help you with? Please remember to rate my answer so that I may receive credit for helping you with your issue. Thank you!

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

If there is nothing else I can may help you with, please rate my answer so that this question may be marked as complete. Thank you!

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Family Lawyer: Jessica B,
 replied 10 months ago

The month of September is coming to a close and you have not submitted your rating for my service. I would greatly appreciate it if you would please take the time to rate my answer. Thank you!

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