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Legal Eagle
Legal Eagle, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 5209
Experience:  Licensed to practice before state and federal court
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I am wondering what if any Connecticut State laws there are

Customer Question

I am wondering what if any Connecticut State laws there are protecting me from an ex - documented alcholic abuser.
'Family Court' and ex's corrupt attorneys have forced us to coparent (divorced a year but arbitration over 'stuff' is on appeal) I filed Sept.2014. Ex used and continues to use adult children to hurt me and sets them up in ways to hurt me.
Uses custodial visits to lure minor son as he financially controls 3 adult siblings.
co parenting allows ex to be in almost constant tumult - weekly incidents in the form of harassment.
What if any laws are there to protect me in a co parenting situation. Minor son then 10 now
13 year old has a GAL who refused to acknowledge or protect him or his then 17 year old now 20 year old
from obvious forms of abuse.
Are there any laws to protect me from harassment using visitation coparenting etc.
Submitted: 2 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Legal Eagle replied 2 months ago.

Hello! I am a licensed attorney, eligible to practice in front of state and federal court, who is ready to help. I have a nearly 100% satisfaction rating (click here to see my ratings information) so all that means is that you can count on me to help today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. One of the things that you may want to consider is a restraining order. Restraining orders are relatively simple to obtain and they are granted by a judge. You can explain to the judge that you are X abuses alcohol and that you are concerned about your safety. If you click here, you can see a quick two page pamphlet published by the state of Connecticut regarding not only the specifics of filing for a restraining order, but also the process that you need to take so that way it is enforced. This way, at least for a certain amount of time, then he won't be able to contact you without risking jail time.

Follow up questions are free, so please feel free to ask away. You can also click here in the future to request me individually. If you don’t have any additional questions, were you satisfied with my service today?

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
My attorney told me that this won't work. Has to be a threat of physical violence. Even as ex uses his custodial visit times to stalk/harass/control/ - and that he continues to use our adult children to emotionally abuse me and has encouraged them and even rewarded them to hurt me physically - I await a law protecting a co parent from an abusive ex partner.
Expert:  Legal Eagle replied 2 months ago.

I understand what you mean. One bright side is that you are in control of the situation more than you think. Although he may be emotionally abusive, you are able to escape from the abuse as much as possible, even without the court's intervention. One thing that I have learned is that if you find some defensive statements, you'll be better off. You could explain, "Look, I refuse to listen to this anymore so please do not contact me unless it is regarding the health, welfare, and safety of the children," then it can help. Also, emotional abusers hate when they are ignored so you may be able to force him to act in away that is useful by simply ignoring his abusive behavior like shutting off your phone and not responding to his emails that aren't pertinent.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
This is not helpful when co parenting. When ex uses siblings of minor child (who are alienated from me) to spend
time with their younger brother. Understandably this pits youngest child against me when I refuse. Even as I am within my rights if it is not his custodial week. Also he allows all the kids to do anything they want - completely out of control - abusive - oldest just out of rehab (and therefor not safe for minor son to be around) - he has let them they steal and destroy my possessions - in order to upset me and engage me with them - so that when I react or in some cases have called the police for intervention ALL IS USED AGAINST ME. The kids become victims and hate me all the more. This passive aggressive form of abuse to me has gone on for the last 10 of the 30 year marriage. I looked into the CONNECTICUT VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT - but have found no way to get him to stop engaging me as we are co parenting. Things naturally come up. I look like the bad guy no matter what I do.
Expert:  Legal Eagle replied 2 months ago.

One of the ways that you might be able to help us your rights is by filing a contempt motion. The contempt motion basically says that your ex is violating the terms of the agreement. The cord may decide that they want to issue a fine or they may order him to comply with the terms of the agreement or else risk jail time. all you would do is just find some 28 line pleading paper, and then go and file it in the court where the Parenting Agreement is filed.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
He is up on contempt but his skillful attorneys have figured out how to get him out of it. He was served by
a sheriff in hand so even if he skips the initial date he will eventually have to submit. He has violated the agreement almost weekly for three years. How does this / will this PROTECT ME AND MY KIDS. Some states require that he admit abuse etc. - Julie Boyd Cole wrote a book about her situation which was helpful. but again what can be done to protect me and my kids from the psychological abuse - his lies to them and to his attorneys that I have no way to defend (especially as adult kids are not in contact and block me)
Expert:  Legal Eagle replied 2 months ago.

I can understand. The state is not going to require that he admit to the abuse at all; the court has to find that he committed abuse even if he denies it (which he will). Even if his attorneys are skillful, the facts may still work in your favor if he is up on contempt. Part of this is being patient with the process and waiting for justice to serve you appropriately. in the meantime, take the suggestions that I made regarding how you can protect yourself in the meantime. The law is good, but it can't protect you 100% in every situation. You're in greater control than you think.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Three years of patience...successfully Used the judicial system and anyone willing to listen to his lies about me to continue abuse to me. I've been slandered harassed and framed by our own children and my family members - it's been so frightening - PTSD from years of the gas lighting and lies which contact over minor son just triggers. Is there any kind of a no contact order I can get while co parenting? Attorney feels custody fight is in order - to limit contact - but minor son is so miserable and alone amnesia (forgets abuse) just to be with his dad.
Expert:  Legal Eagle replied 2 months ago.

Yes potentially it would have to be under a protective order. The court could issue a no contact order, but it would have to have a basis of some sort of physical abuse. The options are not great, this is the downside with psychological/emotional abuse because the scars are on the inside. However, I think that if you continue to exercise your amazing patience and follow my recommendations