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JD 1992
JD 1992, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33911
Experience:  Began practicing Family Law in 1992
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At what time age can a child of divorced parents refuse to

Customer Question

At what time age can a child of divorced parents refuse to go with his father. He didn't see him for 18 months when he was little. Decided to show up when my daughter petitioned to have his name changed to her maiden name. He has never sent a text, called, seen him play sports, asked how school is going, etc. After 9 years of receiving $250 a month child support my daughter asked to have it reviewed and he now has to pay $725 a month. To get back at my daughter he is using Benjamin as a pawn. He decided he didn't want him playing hockey because it interfered with his time with him. He now has him for a month and took Benjamin 's phone away so he cannot talk to his mom unless he goes through him. Benjamin begged not to go with him. He is remarried with 3 more children. He gave up custody of his first child so he didn't have to pay child support and would have done the same thing with Benjamin but couldn't because in order to do that in ND you have to have someone adopting him. He is also involved in what he calls religion but it is more of a cult. He thinks if he fasts and prays that God will speak to his mother who claims she's a prophet and God tells her what to do. She also claims to speak in tongues and has visions. Benjamin is a wonderful boy who is very close to his mom (our daughter) and he does not deserve to be put through this. My daughter has tried everything to keep things civil but this man is a control freak. He does things to Benjamin that he knows gets to her. He is a compulsive liar, and a con artist. Things are his way or no way!! He tries to come off as very knowledgeable but at the last court hearing the judge caught him in a lie. He doesn't feel he needs a lawyer because he more than capable of defending himself, especially since God is on his side. My daughter has been texting him every other day so she can talk to Benjamin and he wants her to stop because this is his time and he hates to have to put up with the crying after ***** *****gs up!! She contacted her lawyer and was told she could talk to him once a day. Benjamin would be so much better off without having to tolerate any of this. As his grandmother, I have a very close relationship with him and we talk a lot since I watch him after school and during the summers. He has expressed his feelings towards his "sperm donor" many times and I've asked him if he ever told Brandon (does not call him dad) how he feels. His response was I can't because I'm afraid he will hit me. Benjamin deserves to be happy and if this continues I am afraid it is going to cause irreversible damage to him. Thank you!!!
Submitted: 2 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  JD 1992 replied 2 months ago.

Hello and thank you for contacting us. This is Dwayne B. and I’m an expert here and looking forward to assisting you today.

Expert:  JD 1992 replied 2 months ago.

Your question: "At what time age can a child of divorced parents refuse to go with his father."

A child cannot make that decision at any age unless there is a court order stating that they are allowed to do so (which would be unusual). The child has to obey the court order just as the parents have to obey it. If the parent who has primary custody of the child chooses not to force the child to obey the court order then that parent faces the potential of being filed on for contempt. Courts typically believe that if a child is "deciding not to visit" it is usually because the possessory parent is encouraging that behavior.

The solution if the child doesn't want to go for the court order visitation and you believe it is justified then you should file a Motion to Modify and ask the court to allow the child to make the decision.

If your question has been answered then I'd offer my best wishes to you and ask that you please not forget to leave a 5 Star Positive Rating so I receive credit for my work. Of course, please feel free to ask any follow-up questions in this thread. I want to be sure all of your questions are answered.

Expert:  JD 1992 replied 2 months ago.

I am about to go offline for the evening. I will be back online tomorrow so if you have any follow up questions please ask them in this thread and I will answer them as soon as I see them. If you haven't issued a Positive Rating yet I would encourage you to do so now. Issuing a Positive Rating will prevent the question from timing out and closing and will lock it open so it can be accessed and the Q and A can continue at any time from this evening or even a year or more from now.