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S. Kincaid
S. Kincaid, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2512
Experience:  I have practiced family law since 1996, focusing on child custody and domestic violence
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Can you please help me set this up professionally I will pay

Customer Question

Can you please help me set this up professionally I will pay extra for it ( top form or whatever)Here are suggestions from a professional and myself. I hope with dearest concern that you will take it to heart.
You have promised in the past that you will seek professional help. You have narcissistic tendencies and are a pathological liar. You lie to your own children and will depict them as liars to safe yourself. Even the marriage councilor knew it in only a few sessions. You promised you would get help for the sake of the children.
I hope you will start taking advice from professionals or parents that have children and successfully have been parenting. Take parenting classes. I have obtained professional advice with all the none sense you have been trying to throw at me. And have followed the advice given to me. Also I like to share with you from a professional the children should be sleeping in their own beds. I have in the past already send you all the other suggestion you just decide to ignore, or outright deny. However they are all suggestions and advice from professionals. Stop listening to people who have no children or raised children successfully....For the sake of the children.
This will be my last attempt to help you seek help or professional advice and start listening to the sole, legal and physical custodian and full and sole care taker and mother of the past 7 years . As also outlined in the law as this is my responsibility for the children and their best interest . As I have been doing just that and have been told by professionals that they see no issue or problem with my parenting. So to keep attacking me that I don't care or love my children or the children are suppose to not love me and the alike.... the endless insults and accusations, are only proofing that the author of your messages has some kind of personality disorder (not my words btw).
The current issue at had has been suggested to try to handle it as the following.
The children are shutting down. I know why and so does the professionals and every other parent on this planet. Therefor we can try and build the communication again and let the children decide when they want to call or talk to you, I will encourage and ask them several times a week. Which would include you possibly being available during work or lunch brake. You are still able to call if you choose on Wednesday as you have been, once and see if they decide to talk. But harassing them by repeatedly calling back is not a good . you can't force people or harass by calling back constantly, any other person would shut down too. Feel anxiety and get annoyed. Just like connor has expressed several times.
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 3 months ago.

First thing I notice is that I never see a letter received well that has insults in it. I do not think it will be productive if you accuse the other party of having "narcissistic tendencies," of being a "pathological liar," or accusing the other parent as you have, no matter how true it may be. I recommend following an entirely different format.

First, you non-confrontationally describe the situation in concrete terms without judgment. For example, give specific facts that are of concern. Here is an example: "Our son told me that you have been trying to get him to spend time with him outside of the time proscribe in the parenting plan. When he told me, he said he felt pressured."

Second, express to the other party how these facts or examples make you feel. Again, in a non-judgmental fashion. Just factually state your feelings. Example: "This makes me feel sad and frustrated."

Third, clearly state what you are asking the other party to do. Give specific examples or make specific requests. Again, non-judgmentally. Example, "I am asking that you not pressure our son into spending time with you outside of the time proscribed in our custody order. Instead, I ask that if you want to make any exception to the order, that you communicate with me about this in writing and you and I can discuss it."

Fourth, emphasize why compliance with your request would not only benefit you, but would also benefit him. Example: "I'm happy to make variations that are in our son's best interests, so if you and I communicate, some of your requests may be granted. Also, by not including our son in this communication, we can take the stress off of him, which I am sure will make both of us happier."

Does this make sense? It feels good to tell a liar that they're a liar, but it doesn't ever get you what you want.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
I understand what you are saying and I have been doing just that. But after 2 years of him doing it to me I just can't take it any longer. You have no idea what kind of I silts and accusations and lies I have to deal with. I had to block him serveral times as well as opened a our family whizard that he refused to use. Their councilor does not agree their should spend anymore time with them be abuse of all the issues I and the boys had. The boys have been seeing a councilor for almost 2 years because my ex is a narcissist and a pathological liar. He knows that. He even bought a book when he was trying to get me back about narcissist. The marriage councilor gave me a divorce attorney after just a few visitist because my ex is a pathological liar. I know it doesn't help but he needs to get help. They lied to the boys and then when I confronted them about what the boys told me they outright deny it, just to save their ass. Making their own children liars. For example for weeks his non licensed Chiropractioner who has not been passing her exams adjusted our boys with out my knowledge or consent. Until the councilor was even scared for the boys as they showed her what she does to the point one of them got hurt. I had to take him to the doctor. He outright denied it. How do I think that makes his children feel. And that isn't even the only lie. I am planning on going to court soon. But I wanted to send something along those lines I wrote but of course somewhat professional. I dont send emails like that but it's frustrating when your children suffer and it takes a tole on me too. Just look at this picture. My ex is not right in the head and neither his wife who says things to the boys that I don't love them want them to call her mom. Etc etc.....
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
His wife is the one licensed Chiropractitioner and who would adjust them by cracking their Necks and back . That shouldn't even be done at that age.
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Insults not silts
They should not their
Types to fast without checking sorry
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 3 months ago.

Ok, totally creepy photos. That being said, you have to decide what your purpose is with this letter. If it is to blow off steam and be heard, then your original letter could work, but it could have negative ramifications in court. If you want him to change his behavior, I would recommend my method instead.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Does that mean his letter and emails can have a negative ramifications for him in court as well.
I was told they are harassment and borderline personality disorder letters.
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
I have not send anything like that before so I am not worried but I have about 2 years worth from him.
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 3 months ago.

That is possible depending on the content of those messages.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
That's the thing I have send emails with all concerns in a professional matter written by an attorney and it did nothing what's so ever. It's even gotten worse. I feel court is the only option to make him get help. And take a sociological evaluation. Monitored visitation. Btw i have sole legal and physical custody and issues didn't start until the new wife came in the picture all of a sudden he want more rights and custody. So they been harrassing me filming me and provoking me just to get something on me. Which of course that's not happening. It's been so unreal and redicoulous. That's when u really deal with a true narcissist. And I am not trying to be mean it's really a fact. The councilor even says they need parenting classes. And has read a couple emails and stated personality disorder...,
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 3 months ago.

Well, it may be that no letter is going to help the situation and you should just go to court. You will have to be the judge.