How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask AttyHeather Your Own Question
AttyHeather
AttyHeather, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 677
Experience:  Attorney with 15 years experience
93913325
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
AttyHeather is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a 13 month old baby with my x boyfriend whom ive had

This answer was rated:

I have a 13 month old baby with my x boyfriend whom ive had difficulties in due to the fact that he only seems to want to be supportive if we are together...but if not then he doesnt care to...so he had agreement to pay babysitting and he refused to pay since its my mom who watches him..and him and i we were not in good terms. I dont make too much money..so i asked him to take baby with him so he can figure it out and manage to deal with finding a babysitter himself and now having to pay more then he needs to...since he wants to be a jerk...but of course...im thinking..ill be picking up the baby and dropping him off..but for that day since i had to go to work and my mom didnt want to babysit my son since she is already owed 2 weeks of none payment...i felt the father of my son should then take responsibility on finding someone that day since he wants to be dumb and not pay..but i never said he could keep my son. So his mom picked up my son...we dont know where she lives...her and my sons father are hiding my son..keeping him away from me seeing him..or having any contact with him. im not allowed to really go near his house due to some arguments him and i have had in the past, that the family no longer welcomes me at their home. so to avoid any problems..i havent gone over his house...ive been calling and messaging both...his mother and the father..no answer from mother..i get response from the father..but just to tell me i cant see him..and i wont be able to get him back...then he plays with me saying he will bring him and then lies and doesnt come through...to the point ive been begging him..and trying to be nice to him and making him think i would go back with him but he still asking more from me...and has not allowed me to see my son at all...im very concerned...and desperate as to what do i do now...i called cops and they feel he has every right as me and since there is no court order i cant force him to give him back
JA: Because real estate law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?
Customer: i dont want anyone to say i abandoned my baby cause i did not...nor did i give him away for him to keep or have full custody...i dont want to lose my baby...so i want to know what do i do to get my son back??
JA: Has anything been filed or reported?
Customer: no...
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: well..he hit me before..and i have a police report..can that be use as something to be able to get my son back?

Hi! I'm Heather. I've been a practicing attorney for the last 15 years, and I'd be happy to assist you for informational and educational purposes.

What state are you in?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
my mom that day did leave a message on my x boyfriends mother cell phone to pick up the baby because she was not watching him that day and i wasnt either since i cant afford to lose my job..i felt it would be ok to have him keep him that day and for him to find someone to babysit our son since he wants to be irresponsible and not pay my mom.. just because he is mad that im not trying to work things out with him..and yes..thats how horrible and immature of a relationship this is..that my son is being put in the middle of it..and i hate it and it hurts me too ...making this difficult for me to go to work and for my mom to buy her medicine with what he gives her....so i now regret letting them take the baby that day thinking that he would now become responsible and help me with babysitting payment at least but that i was still going to b picking him up and the one dropping him off to the new babysitter...not for him to keep him and not let me see him..i hope i didnt mess up doing that...please help me get my son back...this is making me go into depression..
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
california

In most places, you can obtain a protective order if the father has physically abused you, which he has. The order will usually also give you an immediate custody order. That is your fastest way to get a court order to get your child back. The other alternative to getting your child back, which you should also do, is to file a paternity case against him, and ask the court to make temporary orders as soon as possible including awarding you physical custody. Be careful to not sound like you were "dumping" the child on him, but rather just phrase your docs to state that you were giving him parent-time, and instead of returning the child, he has totally withheld the child and refused to return the child, and that the child is suffering because you have been the acting custodial parent. If the child is still breast feeding at all, you might bring that up too (some children I've seen breast feed past age 1 sometimes).

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
to obtain a protective order even though i didnt go through court for him hitting me..i just filed a report against him
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
would i still be able to or how should i do it?

In most states, you can still file for one, even if you do not do it immediately. Just make sure that you make clear to the court that you are in fear for your safety. How long ago did the violence happen? The court will probably need you to explain why you waited, and alot of girls wait because they are threatened or afraid. Here's the website that has the forms you need to fill out. http://www.courts.ca.gov/forms.htm?filter=DV

Let me know if that helps?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
oh ok...it was a few months ago.....maybe november of last year...and he is very violent..
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
the only way its by going through court then right...?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
the reason why i havent gone through the process of filing through court has been to the fact i just got this job and they are very strict when it comes to asking for days off...and its why i havent gone to do it...that website u sent me...i can actually file online..without actually having to go to court to file first...

Your job, while it might be true that you cannot get a day off, normally if you were very afraid of him, that would not be the real reason that you waited several months to file for the protection order. I think the reason is more of that you did not know what to do, you were scared, and had no idea what your options were. As soon as you found out that you could file for the order of protection, you did it.

It is important that you let the judge know that (1) he touched you in an unwanted way - like violence or abuse - and describe how he did it in detail, and (2) that you are in fear for your safety if you are not given the order. Also, usually you have to have lived together, to get an order like this, so make sure you check the box that at least at one point, you lived with him, assuming that's the truth, even if for a short time.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
yea i understand...i didnt mean that i didnt go through court to file against him because i cant take time off...i just didnt go through with it..what i meant was i havent been able to file custody because of my work

After you file your initial papers, the court will often very quickly give you the TRO which is the Temporary Restraining Order, which can have a provision in it awarding you immediate custody. That is before you even have the hearing. You can use that order to get the cops to help you go pick up your child. You will still have to go to the hearing to have the order turned permanent. Also this does not take the place of filing a paternity lawsuit against him wherein you would ask for a long-term custody order. I'm just trying to help you with the quickest way to get your baby back. Does that make sense?

All those forms, even the proposed orders, you will fill out the way you want them to be, and prepare it so it is how you want it when the judge signs it.

You have to remember to express to the judge, if the issue comes up, that your main motivator for filing this was fear, not to only get the child back. But that his kidnapping the child prompted you to do research on how to get the order of protection.

Would you be able to provide a positive rating for my assistance tonight?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
okay..so ..im able to file custody through the website link u just provided me without having to go to a court to file?

You should take them to the court. Here is the information on that: http://www.courts.ca.gov/1089.htm

AttyHeather and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
oh ok..got it..
well thank you so much for the information.