I am sorry to hear of your wife's passing; it is good to ensure that one's estate plan is up to date.
In order to contest a will, a person needs to have legal standing. This means that they must have something to gain. So for example, if Father dies, and Father leaves his estate to his girlfriend, Father's children can contest that will, because if the will is deemed invalid, they would inherit via the laws of intestate succession, since they are next of kin. This would cut off claims from other descendants, such as nieces and nephews, great aunts, etc, since they would not have any basis for gaining from the will being declared invalid.
Therefore, it is not necessary to identify every living relative.
Sample estate planning documents for NY can be found here
You can see from the samples that it is not necessary to name all living relatives.
The main thing is to name the people (relatives or non relatives) one wishes to inherit; successor heirs can be named in case that person predeceases; if for some reason the will is declared invalid, then the executor will have the task of determining who the next of kin are under the laws of intestate succession. At that point they typically hire a private investigator to search the public records; but once the next of kin (closest bloodline) is found, there is no need to go further back.
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Information provided is for educational purposes only. Consultation with a personal attorney is always recommended so your particular facts may be considered. Thank you and take care.