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Asad Rahman
Asad Rahman, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2185
Experience:  Practicing Attorney with 10 years experience
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I was granted an emergency protective order on my ex last

Customer Question

I was granted an emergency protective order on my ex last month in juvenile court due to his repetitive domestic abuse onemail in front on my 14 yr old and in front of our child in common who is almost 1 year old. My ex hadI've done with me since June of 2014 and he was arrested on Domestic Charges on August 17, 2016. In the beginning and during my pregnancy he put me through a variety of mental, emotional, verbal, physically abuse. I thought at first it was alcohol and or drug related or stress from his job. He worked from a home office and I was off work due to a work comp case. We were around each other all the time. I started to see how everything he did was on a cycle. His behaviors are 100% consistent with a typical narrsacistic sociopath. There's no limit to the thinhs he would do to hurt me and make himself feel good. At the same time, he couldn't take care of himself and I spent most of my time catering to his needs so that he wouldn't flip out and hurt me or my kids. I told everybody what I was going through as I experienced it. My daughter is a 9th grader and first hand witness to his violence and behavior. He was diagnosed with a mood disorder and taking medication but would never disclose all the facts of his behavior to his psychiatrist, although he admitted and confirmed to me that he was very aware of how he would lie, abuse, neglect my son, and blame me for everything. But he only admitted to everything after it happened and he had days to look back at what he did. I would find out that he was using heavy drugs behind my back, drinking even after he said he quit, being sexually promiscuous, hiring prostitutes while on work trips, shoplifting, gambling, and spending excessive amounts of money online buying himself unessecery things. Right before his last physical.attack on me he went on a manic spree of shopping. 13+ packages arrived at my house for him in the week falling his arrest. He has massive anger and can't even be wrong or go invalidated or he will lose it. He would make up ideasome in his head that were based on nothing but simple paranoia. He would always accuse me of doing drugs or cheating at least months and then take that paranoid thought and use it to abuse me and make me prove to him that I wasn't doing these things and if I couldn't give him the validation to disprove him he'd make my kids miserable, and one by one he'd year apart everything in my life that was a positive for me at the time. Sabatoge, revenge, torture and fear... to control me in everyway possible were his intentions. Because I was beat down by long, injured, pregnant and thenot with infant.... it took me 2 years to finally have the strength to do we hat I needed to do for my family and get him out of our lives and make him accountable for his actions. I tool out the order of protection immediately a day then found out later that child services requiredo me to do so anyways but I was already in the process. Imy cooperating with cps for an informal adjustment so that I can show I am protecting my children and can provide them with a safe and healthy environment. Here is where things are getting worse for me and the kids now.....I thought I was doing the right thung by taking out the order after his arrest and the judge approves it immediately for 2 yrs. I went to court for the hearing for the details of whether he should be allowed supervised visits and whether he should have to pay for anything right now, and during the hearing he was able to prove himself the more credible witness. He lied about all the abuse and had long detailed stories that him.and his lawyer have been preparing for a month. I spoke first and told the truth and under the advise of my attorney I tried to be quick and simple and not go into extreme detail and I spoke the truth about the day of the arrest. I was told not to make statements that could be deemed as hearsay at that time. He spoke secondo and for over an hour was allowed to share a totally new story about the day of his arrest and all the times he abused me and I had pictures or evidence on him showing What injuries I sustained injuries. His attorney was leading and coaching him. They both attacked my character and he stole pages from my journal and used them against me out of context. As I sat there listening to the crazy scenarios and excusesee he made up I couldn't help but to be shocked. The judge said bc I was looking at him while he spoke, and bc I was "smirking" which I don't understand bc I was nothing but shocked and so hurt that the judge was letting them get away with this act, that I was judged to be smirking? Then bc of this the judge said I wasn't credible, bc if I was scares of him i wouldn't be looking at him. I don't understand why I can look at the person who abused me so long while he sat there telling fabricated stories and bringing in false allegations that had noting to do with the protective order and making such twisted statements turning himself in to the victim and me into the abuser. My attorney would object but the judge just continuedon't to let him talk. Even though he contradicted himself many times and bashed me with false statements of hearsay and changed his story from the original.police report and also did all he could to make me.look unfit, it was allowed. He is a smooth talker and professional.liar. like I said he is a narrsacist sociopath and has done things to me so.brutal that he shouldn't even be on the street and I love in fear of him more now bc I'm standing up to him and that was never allowed. He is going to do anything he can to lie and deny and distort facts and evidence. The judge dropped the order of protection and now I have no idea where to go from here. My kids and I are in a house and that he can easily access. He has friends and family he's convinced that I'm the perpetrator and he's the saint, but there are his family that know the truth. He's been violent to people his whole adult life I've found and it's not a secret, yet he's getting away with it. I filed for custody and he's going to have months to prepare for this. I will too but I need to make sure I have witnesses and evidence together and all.of the knowledge about my rightsituation and what I can to to keep him from hurting us and getting custody. He has a criminal trial coming up Oct 24 for the domestic violence and I fear that he will.use the fact that the family judge dismissed the order of protection and said I'm not as credible as him as a way to get the domestic charges dismissed or reduced. He needs to be convicited bc he is 100% guilty and once the criminal.court convicts him it will help in getting the truth out there when I go for custody. I don't meet with my attorney for 2 weeks and I can't wait that long to get advice and find out if there's anything I can to to defend myself about the false allegations and hearsay that led to the protective order being dropped. Do I have any rights to take out a protective order on him on the criminal.court system? How can I make sure he isn't allowed to walk on the domestic charges? I'm scared and there is no protection out there for me and my kids right now. I of course will.document any and all contact he tries to have with me and I won't let him in my home but he does unpredictable dangerous thinhs and he's empowered right now after the hearing and getting the order dropped and that can fuel his mood disorder. He dents his mood disorder, drug use and violence and spone about himself as a perfect model.citezen who is dealing with me, the crazy, mental, drug addiction who abuses him. That is the complete opposite of the truth yet the judge gave him the validation he needed to continue to do this to me. This just seems like another format of abuse. I have to protect my kids and lost on where to go from here and what my rights are. I need help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Asad Rahman replied 1 year ago.

I am very sorry to hear this, and some people tend to get away with horrible things just because they come across as believable. I would again file for a restraining order if you think he remains an active threat. You might be able to get a different judge that isn't already biased. I would also talk to the prosecutor who is prosecuting his criminal case and let them know any more details that will help the prosecution convict. Aside from that there is not much you can do.