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Marsha411JD, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 20291
Experience:  Licensed Atty, 29 yrs exp in the practice of law.
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I have a family membership in local YMCA for at least 20

Customer Question

I have a family membership in local YMCA for at least 20 years. One Sunday afternoon before closing I finished with my 1 Mile swim and walked to the lockers/showers. But before taking a shower decided to go the sauna keeping my swimming suit on as usual. This is an all male sauna, not a family one. As I opened the door I realized the lights were off, and it didn’t bother me because some members like it since is plenty light coming from the exterior and the light in the sauna is sort or eye piercing.
As I suddenly opened the door and entered the sauna there was this guy I know for many years and I though I may have seen something like he had an erection but he covered himself with a towel very fast. I though he may had an unwanted erection caused by the temperature change or whatever and proceed to enjoy my sauna time. I really didn’t think much about it. After I sat across where he was seated he didn’t say a word and everything seemed normal.
Then I left for a cooling shower and returned covering myself with a towel and hand my swimming suit by the heater so it could dry it quicker. When I sat across him in the sauna he said to me: “Sorry you caught me masturbating” … I was shocked, What is this guy telling me? I didn’t know what to say. I know he is a very religious catholic man with 5 children and a wife and works for a very influential client of mine. So I said, I am in no position of judge you.. and he said “can I finish”/…then I figured I had to run from that place since it made me feel very uncomfortable and as I was leaving he said you can drive me if you want and exposed himself to me… Then I said I got to go and I was out of the sauna and got ready to leave. Later he got out of the sauna and asked me to pray for him, since he knows I am also a man of faith. I said to him I will pray but you need to remember you have a wife a 5 children at home. He didn’t like my comment probably because increased his feeling of guilt. I immediately left the premises not knowing what to do.
As soon as I got home I related this incident to my wife and we decided I needed to report this to the YMCA’s president/manager so I did when I returned on Tuesday. There are lots of children at the facility and it could have been one of the small children opening the door. The YMCA executive was very grateful and also got very concerned and he was going to take extreme measures like expelling this individual and forfeit his membership.
Since I don’t know his name I gave the YMCA executive the physical description and the approximate time this event happened. But I told him I was very concerned about the legal and monetary repercussions that this could spark against me and my business. It is going to be my word against his word. The YMCA director was going to check the video cameras and call me to identify the individual… The I become even more concerned about the potential implications.
So I wrote the YMCA director an email saying:
“Regarding our conversation today I would request you to please wait for my input before you proceed. I talked at length about the incident with my wife and we have decided to consult with an attorney before moving forward as well as you are planning to do with yours, as you told me.
In the meantime I would suggest to close the sauna for a couple of days and do the electrical work required to keep the light on at all times and controlled by a remote switch. Also add more light to the place to deter any undesired activity.
You may want to encourage random male supervision in the men's locker rooms, bathrooms, showers and specially the sauna area. You could also predict this behavior at times of low guest activity.
I don't believe he would act inappropriately in the showers or locker areas since it seems he doesn't want to be caught.
I have been reading several articles about similar cases handled by the YMCA and it seems proceeding cautiously pays off.  Some of them may not have had the greatest outcomes.
So my question to your service is: Can I decide not to identify the individual and let the YMCA adopt new policies that would prevent or deter this kind of activities?
Do I have a right to refuse identification? I believe this may do more harm than good and may cost more than it really deserves.
Thank you.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Marsha411JD replied 1 year ago.


Thank you for the information and your question. Certainly no one can make you identify this individual, however, since you reported it there would be a natural assumption that you wanted to report a specific person and not just make a general recommendation. So, it would be the duty of the YMCA management to try to investigate. But again, your choice as to whether you cooperate. If you don't, they can only proceed based on what they know.

Please feel free to ask for clarification if needed. If none is needed, then if you could take a moment to leave a positive rating in the ratings box above, I will receive credit for assisting you today. Thank you

Expert:  Marsha411JD replied 1 year ago.

Hello again,

I wanted to touch base with you and make sure that you did not have any follow up questions for me from the answer I provided to you on the 12th . For some reason, the Experts are not always getting replies or ratings (at the top of the question/answer page you are viewing or in the pop up box for this question), which is how we get credit (paid by the Site) for our work, that the customer thinks have gone through. In your case I received neither.

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In any event, it was a pleasure assisting you and I would be glad to attempt to assist you further on this issue, or a new legal issue,if needed. You can bookmark my page at:

Thank you.