I am in the process of trying to get divorced. My husband and I agreed to try to resolve some matters together and mediate the divorce
instead of hiring attorneys. We had tentatively agreed on some terms for the visitation
of our child. He then stated that he wants the right of first refusal added into our agreement.
1. We are getting divorced bc my husband mistreats my son (who is 1) and I....yells, screams, curses in our faces, throws things, punches or hits things, slams doors, grabs and pushes me, gets in my face, has been gruff with our son (man handled him from when he was a new born until 7 months old...this is when I moved away from my husband) etc.
2. Bc of #1 is visitation is rather limited and I am present for all visits that dont occur at my son's daycare
3. I think my husband is very controlling
4. My therapist and even our marriage
counselor (psychologist) have stated that he is a narcissistic sociopathHe is demanding that it be added or he will not resolve matters so that we can get divorced. So, I either need to include it in our agreement so that we can resolve matters and mediate the divorce OR we will need to hire attorneys and go through the divorce process that way. As a side note, this is not the first time he threw up a roadblock / hurdle to delay or stop progress from being made to get divorced.If I agree to right of first refusal, I am:
1. Giving up my privacy bc I will need to inform him of every time I want / need to do something without my son
2. Having to be more involved an have more contact with my husband than I want to have
3. Allowing him to know what I do in my personal lifeWhile I can and do see the positive points to someone having the right of first refusal, I only see a downside to it with the situation I am in. He gets to continue to have control over me. I am forced to live under his thumb. My son would be alone with my husband when at no other time would this be allowed. My privacy is being invaded.I realize I have said a lot and youre only looking for the question I want answered, but I wanted to give the background before I asked it:Can the courts make me agree to right of first refusal? I have talked with some attorneys and they have stated that they highly discourage ppl from having this clause bc it creates further issues between the 2 parents that then negatively impacts the child. Does the judge consider this when he makes his decision?