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Category: Family Law
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My ex and I divorced a year ago. He lies in front of our

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My ex and I divorced a year ago. He lies in front of our parental evaluator. I correct him. Nothing happens.
1. He lied that he had a girlfriend. Said she was the mother of our kids friends. Would not let me meet her. My sibling and kids said she was the girlfriend.
2. He broke into my emails and printed them and gave them to the custody evaluator. My attorney and advisor were told this by the evaluator. Denied this. I told the parental evaluator to talk to the custody evaluator.
3. Lied about not telling child they were missing practices and games on his time. Confronted that the child told me they were unaware of this happening.
I struggle with this because we are suppose to co-parent but I can't trust him.
4. Refuses to talk to me on anything. Ghosts me on texts and emails when he does not want to talk about certain things.
I'm at a loss. I don't understand this behavior.
Why does he do this? What can I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  11012014Jah replied 1 year ago.
Good evening. I am happy to assist you. I also have to practice co-parenting and when you have a partner or ex-partner that makes the separation more about themselves than the children, it makes everything pretty difficult. I find it really unfortunate that you are having to deal with this because it sounds like your kids are missing out right now. They're also being modeled behaviors that promote deceit if he is not even being honest about his current relationship and they are not able to keep their obligations with practices and games. As far as why he behaves in this manner, all I can think of is selfishness and that there is some sort of secondary gain occurring. He may gain some sense of gratification in his deceit and also if he was hurt because of the breakdown in the marriage, his behaviors are passive aggressive means to harm you. Your children may have become pawns for him to keep you "playing" his games. As far as your options, I wonder how you can actually make him think a sense of compromise is his idea? Maybe empower him but use more affirmations and tell him what you appreciate that he does for the kids. Maybe reinforce the good things, if there are some, so that he is being conditioned to receive a different type of energy from you? Legally, if he is in contempt of a court order, I would ask for an emergency hearing about custody. If he is keeping the kids from participation in activities, he is making things about himself and not the children. As a mother I know you wouldn't want your children to be used as game pieces and have them subjected to that manipulation.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I understand the selfishness but why lie he has a girlfriend? Why exert the energy? FYI I filed for the divorce- bad husband. She looks like my clone and its creepy. I finally met her and she seems nice. I hope it works out between them because I'd rather go through her than him on kids stuff. Divorced 1 year. He has been seeing her for 6 months. She is divorced with 3 kids and stays home.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do you think at all that the PC is listening to the exchanges? We have her because his stonewalling on kid decisions.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I offered 50/50. He sued for full custody. 14k with a custody evaluation later the decision was 50/50.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I live in MN and going to court would be fruitless. Once set it's impossible to change.