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When the original order was signed, was the child care cost covered?
I don't see why he should be paying half the child care cost if it's fully covered. It should have been addressed by the Judge when the order was modified. The only way to get it out of the order would be to have the Judge remove it or the parties agree. It would all depend on why it was left in the order two months ago.
Ahh, okay. Well, at this point, he would need to ask the court to modify the order to remove his requirement to pay for child care costs. If he suddenly stops, and it's still ordered that he pay half the child care costs, she could ask to have him held in contempt of court for failing to follow the court order.
Whether or not the modification would be okay depends on your state. Some states require that parties wait a year before modifying, or that there be a substantial change. What I don't know is a) what state you're in and b) whether or not a Judge would consider this a substantial change if it was somewhat brought up during the last modification. It's possible that since the issue wasn't pressed in court, the Judge might consider that he waived the issue and a modification would be struck down.
But you're right. If he's paying child support AND half of the child care costs, then it doesn't matter what her employer considers the child care benefit.
It would depend on the Judge's rules on the issue. Some Judges would say seeking relief falls under a modification. At this point, it would probably be good to sit down with an attorney who knows this Judge and their practices. Every Judge is different.