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S. Kincaid
S. Kincaid, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2453
Experience:  I have practiced family law since 1996, focusing on child custody and domestic violence
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My fiance has primary custody of s 13 yo son and 9 yo

Customer Question

My fiance has primary custody of his 13 yo son and 9 yo daughter.I have been helping raise then for almost 5 years now. Their mother only takes them on weekends for visits and that's it. No involvement at school, doctors,or fiance works during the day and I work evenings, so if the kids are sick ,or there is any issues during the day ,drs appointments,anything... I take care of it,and obviously my fiancee knows and trusts any decision I make.the kids have asked me to be apart of their school ,in class parent for both,part of pta, involved in both kids iep meetings and any school function ,commitee,or special event. Well over this past summer, the children went to visit their mom. ( she lives in so,we live in nj) when we went to pick them up on sunday,she refused to return them, she kept them all summer and my fiance had to file court papers to have them returned. The judge ordered them to be returned to us.but now it has started a huge custody battle, Now their mom has been having meetings with the schools and making accusations that I am abusing them, and forbid the school to talk to me. There was an issue at school and neither of us the children's father or i) knew because she had the school erase our numbers. I found out when the 9 year old got off the bus. She has destroyed my name every chance she has gotten.I was suspended from work for a month during the summer because she called called dyfs and said I was doing drugs and abusing her kids. ( I work with developmentally disabled youth and when my name came up in the system,the state notified my job) all the accusations were unfounded and cleared. But now I am talked about and feel uncomfortable at the kids school and my job. I have never done anything wrong to her ,never said bad things about her, I actually have helped her several times ( when she was fired,when her roommate tried to make unwanted sexual advances, I have actually gave her gas money cause she didn't have any and ran out when she came to get kids for weekend. My fiances lawyer just says to play nice till court . but the stress is causing me to phtdiva)y be sick
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 1 year ago.

What exactly is your question?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Can she ban me from the school? And can I sue her for emotional distress
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We have tried talking to her, we tried including a lawyer, she is destroying my life and told my fiance she will stop when he gets rid of me
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 1 year ago.

She doesn't have any authority to ban you from the school unless she gets a restraining order against you. At the same time, the school does not have to let anyone onto school grounds if they don't want to. If she tells them not to, they may decide to listen to her. Does the school have the court order giving your fiance custody? Has he told them clearly that you are to have access?

Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 1 year ago.

One option would be to sue her for lost wages due to defamation of character and/or for emotional distress. This may deter her from behaving this way in the future, especially if you win the case. If the amount is not too great ($3,000 or less), you could file in Small Claims Court, which is a simpler procedure.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He has provided them with a copy. The school is aware of all the custody issues going on, because she refused to bring them back,the kids missed the first 2 days of school. The school and I have had a good relationship and now she is having secret meetings with them this changed. I already had to address the violation when they told me I could attend a iep meeting with my fiance. Once I started talking about the fact that by law I can attend if invited by a parent and that there are laws, they appoligized to me and told me that the information they were given by the mother was not correct and I didn't have an issue since. Till today, there is a lot of emotu9mal issues going on with the 9yo daughter and my fiance asked for me to call and check on her because the nurse left a message saying that she had told the gym teacher she dislocated her shoulder and couldn't participate.he was at work and was unable to call the school. When I called they said they couldn't discuss anything about her well being with anyone but her mom
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He has also provided a copy of a notiarized letter stating that I have his permission to discuss all matters regarding the children with the school,i have his permission to consent to treatment and make medical decisions . Because she lives an hour and a half from the kids, we made sure the kids would be taken care of if he was not immediately available
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 1 year ago.

Well, they an make that decision, but they might change their mind if your fiance disputes it and shows them his court orders that give him the authority to make such decisions.

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