Family Law Questions? Ask a Family Lawyer Online.
I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
It can take time for a company to transfer 401(k) proceeds, but it doesn't take 3 years. You can ask for evidence that the request has been filed or an update on what's happening. To start, you should have filled out a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO, pronounced "quaddro" to request the change). If that's been done, you can call the company and ask them about the status of your transfer. If you never did that, you can download and complete a QDRO online and send it to your ex's attorney for filing now.
The other option is to file an Order to Show Cause, which is where you tell the judge that she hasn't transferred the money as promised yet and ask her to prove that she's making efforts to get it done or to hold her in contempt of court. There's really no reason for her company to be dragging their feet - this is a pretty routine procedure for any business that handles 401(k)s. Any local attorney can help you with that, and your court order may have language that allows you to recoup your attorney's fees from her in this scenario.
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