Family Law

Family law questions? Ask a family lawyer online.

Ask a Lawyer,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I am in process of divorce. I am 59 years old and my husband…

Customer Question
Hi. I am in process...
Hi. I am in process of divorce. I am 59 years old and my husband is 53. We had a son together via IVF. There were two episodes of physical abuse against me by my husband which occurred in December 2015 and once in 2014. He has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder which accounts for his secretiveness, lack of emotional attachment, communication problems, lack of expressions of love/caring, secretiveness, etc. He became a U.S citizen thanks to me. I supported him financially throughout the marriage. He wants shared legal custody of our son. I am unsure about this due to our communication issues. He has left home over 11 times whenever we had a disagreement over one episode of infidelity and his constant absence from home. What concerns me is how involved will the court battles be and my age. What if I were to die while my son is a minor. How would my husband not having joint custody affect the care of my son. I reside in CT. Thanks.
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Family Law
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Answered in 4 minutes by:
2/28/2016
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago
Roger
Roger, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31,949
Experience: BV Rated by Martindale-Hubbell; SuperLawyer rating by Thompson-Reuters
Verified

Hi - my name is ***** ***** I'll be glad to assist.

How old is your son?

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
He is 4 years old.
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Hi. Are u still there?
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

Yes, I'm here.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
We were married for 14 years.
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

If the court awards you custody (physical and legal), then you'd be the primary parent for the child and you'd be able to ask the court to limit the father's access and visitation to the child given his mental health issues.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

In the event that something were to happen to you before your son is an adult, the father could be granted custody of the child unless the court didn't believe that he was capable/qualified........

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I know all of this but how would I prove his mental health issues. Also, I do not believe he would hurt our son. I do not want to limit visitation. Would the court battles be very involved? I am more concerned that he not take our child to Peru, and I am concerned about our inability to communicate with each other effectively.
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

In that case, the court would have to find a guardian or next of kin (grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc.) to place the child with. If you're concerned about this issue, you could draft a will and name a guardian for your son in the event that you pass away before your son reaches the age of majority.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

If the father has not been diagnosed with a mental health condition, then that's what you'd have to do first.....you'd have to ask the judge to order him to submit to psychological testing and get an opinion from a court-appointed mental health professional to determine whether he's got clinically diagnosable issues.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Sorry perhaps I was not clear with my question...how lengthy/expensive would the court process be. He is asking for joint legal custody. On health care decisions and the like, I would have problems communicating with him possibly. My age... if I were to die would my husband be prevented from rapidly taking custody. I DO WANT for my husband to take custody if I were to die.
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

In regard to taking the child out of the country, the judge in the divorce proceeding can prohibit the father from taking the child out of the country without your written consent. Also, the judge can order that the child's passport be signed off by both parents any time he's going to be leaving the county.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Can you answer my two part question? Thanks
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

If you cannot agree to the terms of divorce -- who gets custody, child support, etc. -- then you could spend thousands of dollars to get to the end. I've had divorces that cost less than $2000 and some that have racked up over $10,000 in legal fees. It all depends on how much fighting you have to do.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

USUALLY, a judge is going to award joint custody between the parents, but one parent will be the primary parent (the parent the child lives with the majority of the time) and the other will have visitation rights. That will be determined by who the judge believes can do the best for the child and tend to the needs of the child. In deciding this, the judge will look at the character of the parents, the home environment, any history of mental illness, substance/drug abuse, etc. of both parents.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

If you are concerned that your husband is not fit to have physical custody of the child if you were to pass away before he reaches adulthood, then you really need to try and establish his mental health issues now.......in this divorce......and then establish a guardian in your will.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

If you don't establish that he has clinically diagnosable mental health issues now, then if you were to pass away, the father would be the default choice to take over physical custody of the child.......leaving your family members a tough up-hill battle to take custody away from the father.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

Thus, your best option with this would be to allege in the divorce papers that he has a mental health issue, ask the court to order him to submit to court approved testing for a diagnosis, and then to award custody to you in the event that he does have a diagnosable mental health condition.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

That will lay the ground work for you to seek custody now......and it would also assist in establishing a basis to appoint a guardian (as outlined your will) to care for the child until he reaches adulthood.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: Roger, Attorney replied 2 years ago

Please let me know if you need anything further. Thanks!

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Was this answer helpful?
Ask Roger Your Own Question
Roger
Roger
Roger, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31,949
31,949 Satisfied Customers
Experience: BV Rated by Martindale-Hubbell; SuperLawyer rating by Thompson-Reuters

Roger is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it.

LeeMichigan

Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises!

Gary B.Edmond, OK

My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer.

EricRedwood City, CA

I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight.

MichaelWichita, KS

PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent.

Three H.Houston, TX

Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!!

ElaineAtlanta, GA

It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem.

TonyApopka, FL

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ely

Ely

Counselor at Law

11,875 satisfied customers

Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.

LawTalk

LawTalk

Attorney and Counselor at Law

9,025 satisfied customers

30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Attorney

7,856 satisfied customers

I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.

Tina

Tina

Lawyer

6,562 satisfied customers

JD, 17 years legal experience including family law

Barrister

Barrister

Lawyer

3,415 satisfied customers

Attorney with 17 years experience

P. Simmons

P. Simmons

Lawyer

3,398 satisfied customers

16 yrs. of experience including family law.

RobertJDFL

RobertJDFL

Lawyer

2,787 satisfied customers

Experienced in multiple areas of the law.

< Previous | Next >

Related Family Law Questions
I have legal physical custody of my son, and I've lived in
second opinion] I have legal physical custody of my son, and I've lived in California for three years. The father is in Nevada. We need to request a change in visitation, but I'd like to move the case… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
32,639 satisfied customers
Im in a divorce, we haven't had child support or alimony
Im in a divorce, we haven't had child support or alimony payments set yet. If i am living with another woman, can her income be used against me in Louisiana? … read more
Legal Eagle
Legal Eagle
Attorney
Doctoral Degree
11,324 satisfied customers
If someone has temporary legal and physical custody of a
Good Morning,If someone has temporary legal and physical custody of a child, do they need to inform the court that they will be moving with the child? It will be in the same county but different city.… read more
lawyerJ
lawyerJ
Juris Doctorate
164 satisfied customers
I have 50 % joint custody and my ex has full physical
I have 50 % joint custody and my ex has full physical custody of my 12 year old son. For the last year when I call to set up times to visit or call she says he doesn't want to talk to me or see me. Is… read more
Jessica B
Jessica B
Juris Doctor
1,076 satisfied customers
Child Support modification assistance. The divorce was in
The divorce was in Florida, but My ex-wife and son moved to AZ, and I now live in WV. I am unemployed, but retired from the military. The Child support was based on my income when I was employed and hasn't been adjusted. … read more
lucy7368
lucy7368
Juris Doctor
763 satisfied customers
In my divorce papers it says that child support is supposed
In my divorce papers it says that child support is supposed to stop when the child turns 18 but if she goes to college does it still have to be paid?… read more
PaulmoJD
PaulmoJD
Attorney At Law
Doctoral Degree
106 satisfied customers
I am divorced and have joint custody of our children now 16
I am divorced and have joint custody of our children now 16 and 20. The 16 lives with her mother in Texas and I had to move to Florida for work. Does my ex have any legal right to not let them see me … read more
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent
Managing Partner
Doctoral Degree
3,263 satisfied customers
I'm contemplating sole physical custody of my son with
Hello I'm contemplating sole physical custody of my son with visitations but I'm not sure if I should do that. … read more
INFOLAWYER
INFOLAWYER
Partner
Doctoral Degree
58,767 satisfied customers
Can a divorce stipulate that no child support is to be
Can a divorce stipulate that no child support is to be ordered, parents are agreeing on having children 50/50 meaning 1 week with mom 1 week with Dad. Parents have decided that no one will pay child s… read more
Sean K
Sean K
Attorney/Member
JD
626 satisfied customers
I have a child support and visitation order that outlined my
I have a child support and visitation order that outlined my ex and I need to live with 5 miles to make it workable - if she moves 15 miles away and now wants to transfer my son to a school in the sam… read more
PaulmoJD
PaulmoJD
Attorney At Law
Doctoral Degree
106 satisfied customers
My son was divorced in Tennessee. Child support was setup.
My son was divorced in Tennessee. Child support was setup. He now lives in Michigan and his exwife and daughter live in Texas. He has taken a job that doesn't pay as well as his Tennessee job. Can a M… read more
LegalKnowledge
LegalKnowledge
Juris Doctor
29,892 satisfied customers
What does joint physical custody mean in MN state? How is
What does joint physical custody mean in MN state? How is that different from sole custody with scheduled visiting time for one parent? Does this affect child support? Can you have joint physical cust… read more
Sue
Sue
Juris Doctorate
441 satisfied customers
My daughter is divorcing her husband due to infidelity. The
My daughter is divorcing her husband due to infidelity. The case is in Georgia. They have three children. Can the judge in his ruling make my daughter and their kids remain in GA despite her wishes to… read more
Legal Eagle
Legal Eagle
Attorney
Doctoral Degree
11,324 satisfied customers
NY.....joint custody but physical custody with mom....dad in
Hello, NY.....joint custody but physical custody with mom....dad in VA. Mom decides to homeschool without telling dad, which he is failing. Dad called the school 3 months ago as the mom stated a psych… read more
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent
Managing Partner
Doctoral Degree
3,263 satisfied customers
When there's no physical abuse; how difficult is it to prove
When there's no physical abuse; how difficult is it to prove the current custody is not in the best interest of the child? What constitutes "best interest"? I'm desperate to help my husband get custod… read more
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq.
Attorney
JD
19,591 satisfied customers
Got a question in regards to infidelity in a marriage, can
Got a question in regards ***** ***** in a marriage, can you help me? … read more
LawGuy
LawGuy
Juris Doctor
123 satisfied customers
I have joint custody but full physical custody of my
i have joint custody but full physical custody of my daughter. she is 14 and decided to stay at her gradparents and wont come home now. and the cops are not helping what can i file to get her back and… read more
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent
Managing Partner
Doctoral Degree
3,263 satisfied customers
I already have a judgement for child support and visitation
I already have a judgement for child support and visitation and custody of my child, but they didn't do my divorce in the child support. Can I file for a divorce without bringing previous orders invol… read more
LegalKnowledge
LegalKnowledge
Juris Doctor
29,892 satisfied customers

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x