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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 117370
Experience:  Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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My ex husband is a police officer and s wife works at the

Customer Question

My ex husband is a police officer and his wife works at the courthouse in the juvenile division. After working on the same radio broadcasting and marketing industry for 15 years. I was briefly unemployed for a year. my ex and his wife ( whom my husband had a year and a half long relationship during our martriage and a relationship I caught him in while three months pregnant). He just stopped paying child support, then changed custody to pay less support and then took me to court yet again ( i was unrepresented) to take back the marital home that I exclusively maintained and paid for over ten years.. which made me homeless with my two young children on January 1st. (Not the most joyous of christmases).I received horrible text messages, from both he and his wife...scary uninvited visits to my home from my ex and violitile phone conversations that my ex would include my six year old daughter. I worked from home since my daughter was born until 5.....i was literally a mom 24/7...which means nothing to any of them. She still at the age of twelve feels guilty because she can't say anything nice about me and has to say mean things about me because it "makes her dad happy". She would have nothing if it wasn't for her stepmom, that I care more about my boyfriend, and that my family doesn't love me or her. I hate conflict. I've even held out an olive branch but learned they were a being civil to my face....I started a job in retail...tuff hours but decent pay and benefits....that wasn't good enough either....well when my ex and the woman he cheated on my took my home and gloatingly made me homeless she also called animal control and accused me of leaving my cat to die ( the deputy said it was not true)....on top of losing my house I got to pay them $100 in spousal support for a home loan and an old joint credit card. A year before losing my home I filed bankruptcy with representation in a futil attempt to keep the home my children were born in and loved..I did voluntarily keep the home loan but my attorney had a credit card on the bankruptcy written off...the Iocal judge has also added that debt on my judgement even though it was closed federally. Recently I was diagnosed with facial twitches, high blood pressure, depression and generalized anxiety that even with numerous med and Dr appts has evolved into agoraphobia. I have procrastina
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I went thru the Metlife STD nightmare. I've always been a hard worker and extremely independent...went most of my life healthy and gainfully employed since 14 years of unemployment, no disability, no workers comp, I rarely took vacations and always had more than one job (sometime 3 jobs til i married at 30years of age. I recently began the disability process and all these processes are mentally dificullt and humiliating. I have struggled with no income but still managed to regularly pay the spousal support, but every week I get a legal letter saying I'm $21 in arrears or another amount even though I pay the amount online....i recieved a letter on the 27th of one month staying that they are taking a part of my tax return....the form was dated the 5th and i didnt get it until the deadline to oppose was over.I am a single mom, honest person. I've had two bench warrants and recently three men came to me door and I live alone with young kids and didn't answer it....I paid the spousal support on the 12th and the bench warrant is dated the 17th.....if I call foc they are just awful to me and I have no doubt that it is because of my ex's wife who works there. I feel bullied with no chance of defending myself.
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question. I look forward to working with you to provide you the information you are seeking for educational purposes only.
What is your specific question for us about this nightmare situation you are in?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Is it normal to go thru such effort to punish of today I have overpaid $50 of spousal neighbor said an officer and two other men in a van were at my house.....and o don't know how to remove the 2500 Dept from that judgement that was written off in my 2009 bankruptcy..... It just feels help less
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Plus with my ex being a police officer it is humiliating since at one time they all are my food and sat in my home.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Also the courthouse triggers my panic attacks...I'm normally not as pathetic as I currently sound
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply.
After working in an internal affairs division for 15 years, I have seen that police officers can be the most vindictive in divorces and will use anything at their disposal to gain an advantage.
The only way to try to level the playing field is having an attorney represent you and if you are having financial difficulties, that becomes a task unless you can get legal aid to take your case or a pro bono attorney from the state bar association or local law school.
If you filed bankruptcy and the debt was included in the discharge order from the bankruptcy, then you need to send a copy of that order to the creditor with a letter saying the debt was discharged in bankruptcy and cease collection or you will file a motion for contempt of court in the BK court against them. If your ex is still trying to make you pay the debt, then you need to file a motion to modify and attach the bankruptcy to the motion and ask the court to dismiss that debt against you from the court order based on the bankruptcy. If they continue to pursue it you file a motion for contempt in the bankruptcy court against both your ex and the creditor for continuing to try to collect.
I am afraid after this long this is your only option.
As far as the custody, until your children are old enough and willing to speak their mind to the judge you just have to be there for them. It sounds like your daughter knows what is going on from the way you presented that issue above and once she turns 14-15 the court will consider her wishes and hopefully by then she will be mature enough to not worry about "making daddy happy," and will do the right thing.