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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 116701
Experience:  Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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I live in Florida. I was in a very happy and progressive

Customer Question

Hi, I live in Florida. I was in a very happy and progressive relationship with my boyfriend when his ex who is also the mom of his two kids (never married), and who also knew we were together decided to start drama by going through some measures to access his Facebook and harass and stalk me. She mentioned that she knew where I lived and continued to harass me and cyberstalk eventually through his email. She threatened to take kids out of the country and that he'd never see them again, and after being violent and my boyfriend also stating that she's violent in front of the kids, we resulted in ending our relationship. She continued to cyber stalk, and text even putting my life at risk having me followed. She also defamed my character by attempt to tarnish by spreading the rumors that I was a prostitute and adulterer. Long story short, I have a restraining order against her, then for fun, she took one out on me. Allegations made were false and unfinished sentences to appear as a possible threat. She had her pastor involved, and he saw right through her B.S... he stays in touch with me and offered his help if needed. He invited me to his church two weeks ago in which I was cautious about going to, and he assured that after all of us had our conference call, over a month ago, she has not been present for service, even after he attempt to contact them. (My boyfriend had to go back to stay with his kids because of the threats to the kids and the fact that she is violent, and feels the need to protect his kids). I took the pastor up on his assurance that I could go, and stayed the entire time. At the very end literally, of service, she shows up, and decided to sit directly behind me. Knowing that I'm blonde, I was the ONLY blonde there. My guess is a friend of hers alerted her I was there. Service had already ended and sitting with my back turned, once I realize it was her, I did a 180° and left peacefully in the presence of everyone. I never returned since, and have no plans to. After having so much evidence of her harassment and stalking for over a month, I didn't pursue it because it was stupid to me and I hoped it would have ended. But once I realize by her recent text of herself in a courtroom hinting her restraining order against me, I was so upset and without knowing how the process works, I sent a message that I would fight the restraining order. At the time, I thought it was just to keep me away. I didn't know it meant no contact. I went for the documents the next day in addition to being served by the officer.QUESTION--If I was not served by the officer and texted the day before that I would pursue a case, would I be violating the restraining order? Also, if the pastor invited me and I have the proof of their absence in church attendance, AND left as soon as I realize it was her, did I violate the restraining order?
ALSO, I struggle with depression and anxiety and have a tendency to shut down, no communication with anyone. I am on anxiety medicine because of her and on Facebook, she went through our messages read all our date ideas and literally made him do them with her and posted it publicly for me to see. This caused a lot of distress for me. She added his workplace on the restraining order, just so that we can't see or communicate, and I SHARED her photo on MY Facebook page, and spoke about the incident, as friends and family expressed their concern in regards ***** ***** silence. Keep in mind, we are NOT FRIENDS on Facebook, so I cannot TAG her in the photo, which WOULD BE violating because it means directly NOTIFYING her, AND LINKING her Facebook page. What I did was SHARE the photo and spoke about it on MY Facebook page, as her setting for the photo was set to PUBLIC... IF we were friends, I could see her photo if it was PUBLIC or set to FRIENDS. BUT we're not friends. Did I violate?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question. I look forward to working with you to provide you the information you are seeking for educational purposes only.
If you were never served the restraining order, you would not be expected by the court to stay away. Also, if you were in the church first AND were invited by the pastor, then she showed up later, YOU DID NOT violate the order. If you were not served and she was just threatening a restraining order, texting her to tell her you would fight it is not a violation.
Sharing her public photo and making your own comments about it without contacting her is not a violation of a restraining order either.
You really need to get an attorney and not only fight it but pursue stalking charges against her because what you describe is dangerous and unstable conduct.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi thank you for your quick response. Yesterday, I saw an update by the clerk of court that there was a "correspondence" from a person, possibly an attorney to me. I have not received it at all yet, and decided to look up the name, and it was someone from the state attorney's office. On the website, there was a form in which could be completed and I filled it out and put a very short message saying "(attorney, Esq.) I saw an update by the clerk of court. It is unbeknownst to me if it is just an attempt to contact me or inform me of your representation for ---- in regards ***** ***** number #####.... IF it is an attempt to contact me, please feel free to accept my invitation to call me on the number I provided on the form. Best, CM"..... Will this act be against me?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have filed a stalking case against her AND have contacted CPS and expressed my concern and evidence that she is not stable mentally in addition to the kids father's messages about altercation (multiple) in front of the kids. They thanked me and have already started an investigation.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Apparently she was contacted by CPS. Whether or not in person, I don't know. The same night, I received 3 text messages from her and I filed a police report and have filed a motion of violating the restraining order. Do I escalate this to the state attorney's office on Monday first thing?
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply.
You did nothing wrong if you have not been served any papers. It is unknown why the state attorney is trying to contact you, but it is perhaps because of the stalking complaint and other complaints you have filed against her (that is just a guess at this point as I do not have enough information to know that).
However, if there is no record of you being served with any restraining orders you have not done anything wrong.
Her harassing you about you contacting CPS is something you need to notify the state attorney and CPS about, since she should not be threatening and harassing you for filing a complaint.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi,I don't think you understand what I wrote . After she filed her restraining order full of lies on me, I found out about it a month later and filed one on her for stalking. Her restraining order was active first. When I mentioned that I was going to follow it up, I wasn't served yet. For that, you confirmed that I did nothing wrong. The very next day, as I filed mine against her, I was served with the one she set up a month ago. I knew then NOT TO CONTACT at all.. Right after I filed mine against her, I contacted CPS, expressed my concern and provided evidence that she has been repeatedly violent in front of the kids. She was upset when they contact her and informed her that they were investigating her and she texted me 3 times, very derogatory messages in hopes to get me to respond. I didn't respond because I knew it was a trap. This means SHE violated her own restraining order. I filed a police report about it but I want to know if I should escalate to the state attorney's office.Also, I wasn't served further notice or correspondence.
I did provided evidence to the court that she violated her own restraining order and filed the motion of violation.In regards ***** ***** letter of correspondence as per Clerk notes, I sent a short email to her through the system extending invitation to contact me if necessary.. I don't know if the correspondence had to do with informing me she was legally representing my enemy or not.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I was served with her restraining order the day after I found out about it (a month later) while in the process of filing one against her. I haven't contacted her since.
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply.
Whether you were served or not, it was not illegal or a violation to file a CPS complaint. Furthermore, even if you have an order against you, if you were in a place prior to her getting there, you have still not violated any orders.
Look, as you know, the woman is nuts from the behavior you are describing, so you need to let the State attorney know you are afraid for your safety from her behavior.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she's nuts, alright. So (LAST QUESTION), if I was served her restraining order, invited to her pastor's church (which I have proof of conversation that confirmed she hasn't attended in a month and a half), and she magically shows up the end of service and I immediately leave, have I violated the restraining order?
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply.
No, if you are at a location already and she shows up unknown to you or unexpected to you that she would be there (the pastor invited you and she had not been attending you said, and she did not show up until the very end) then there is no violation on your part, as she should not have entered seeing you were there.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
You can't imagine how much I appreciate your advice.. I spoke to an intake (or whatever her position was) for the Law office, and showed her all proof, reasons why I called CPS (because of the respondent's erratic behavior, my ex-boyfriend's statements that she was abusive physically and verbally in front of the kids when he's there, etc) and she understood but still asked "why" did I contact them and saying that it looks like I'm the aggressor.. I denied that because a RESTRAINING ORDER had been out on ME without my knowledge a whole month and week BEFORE the respondent sent the hint to my phone!! I should have done all this in October and like I told her, just like my ex-boyfriend wanted the drama to pass, so did I. I showed her harassing messages cyber bullying etc. Proof the pastor said that they haven't attended in 6 WEEKS since we ALL were on that conference call as I requested it from him in text (writing) because I took him up on the offer to visit. In her statement saying I violated the restraining order, she mentioned that my ex-boyfriend DENIED he said those things about the abuse, though I have his messages printed!! She also put that I tagged her on Facebook saying bad things, when I didn't. I spoke the truth, and it was on MY FACEBOOK PAGE, and I CANNOT TAG her if we're not friends on Facebook. She set her pictures etc on PUBLIC, allowing anyone to see and share. A LOT of things were done against me. If I was aggressive, I would have called CPS and put restraining order MUCH earlier, and I had every reason to... but I didn't. She provoked me with the pictures, causing me anxiety and stress. She contacted me via email and Facebook messenger. She asked me these things as if she were a judge.. now I don't feel as confident as I did before. What am I supposed to say in my defense??! I filed restraining order AND CPS literally the day after I found out about the restraining order... How can I be aggressive when I NEVER filed an injunction first, instead filed and called CPS a whole month later when I found out one was done on me a month prior??! I'm super stressed out.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply.
You would not be the aggressor if you were not served with any restraining order and she has been the one contacting you. If she has been contacting you, then that makes her the aggressor.
I will send you a phone offer as you requested, but understand we cannot represent anyone from this site and all we can do is provide information to customers.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok, but why did she ask questions about me contacting CPS as if it makes me look aggressive? Does it matter?? I left out of there unwell. Like I said, the stress from all this is taking a toll on me. I just talked to my doctor and she scheduled an appointment to see her and she's writing a letter to extend the hearing until I get better. I just had a second surgery Christmas week and I'm in no shape physically or emotionally to be present. Will it hurt me if I request an extension?
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply.
She asked you about the CPS contact because contacting CPS AFTER someone knows a restraining order or suit has been filed against them makes it look like retaliation and that is something the attorney will have to address in any case in court to show it was not retaliatory.
It will not hurt you if you request an extension, but dealing with these matters as soon as possible always is the most prudent way to handle them so if you get representation and get this to court as soon as possible it is best for you overall.