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If your are a stay-at-home dad, you can actually file a motion with the court and ask the judge to require her to pay your attorney's fees so you can have competent counsel of your own. If you want to go this route, you'd just need to contact a lawyer, discuss the situation and make clear that he/she would need to file this motion on the front-end to make sure that compensation is taken care of. This is a fairly common issue, so most lawyers will be familiar with the protocol.
The other option would be to seek out help from a pro bono lawyer in your area. You could contact your state bar assn or a local legal aid office for direction....but the state bar assn is likely the best resource.