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Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 11842
Experience:  Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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Is there any way to stop manipulation of a noncustodial

Customer Question

Is there any way to stop manipulation of a noncustodial parent of the custodial? I share legal custody with my xhusband and he tries to make things as hard as possible. Such as travelling, doctors that I choose, schools and so on. Is there a way to not
co-parent with a mentally abusive x? He is not a drug addict or alcoholic to ask for sole custody. He is not involved with the child and is very vendictive.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If he does not agree with anything I choose or do he has to take me to court?
Expert:  Amber E. replied 1 year ago.

Any parent can always take the other to court when they disagree. But either parent can also take the other to court when the custody plan simply isn't working. When shared legal custody isn't working because the parents are unable to agree, it is common for one or the other parent to file for a modification of the plan.

Modifications of a custody plan can take on any form that the court determines to be in the best interest of the child. In some cases, the court can divide each parents responsibilities so that one parent makes decisions concerning school and travel, for example, while the other makes decisions concerning health care or extracurricular activities. Dividing responsibilities in this way can minimize unnecessary contact between the parents and clarify their roles, thus making it less likely that they have to agree on things. On the other hand, if it is shown that one parent is in fact being abusive - that one parent is being intentionally difficult and without good reason, then the court can terminate the shared custody arrangement entirely and make only the responsible parent sole decision maker concerning all matters having to do with the child. This would then eliminate the need for the responsible parent to deal with the difficult parent at all, except in emergencies.

To locate an attorney near you who can help start the process, you will want to check the state's bar association website. Or, if you cannot afford an attorney, you may be eligible for an attorney at no cost from legal aid. To find the local legal aid office nearest you, visit

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Will his emails and messages that show that he disagrees with me on most of the issues will be a good proof? How long do I need to wait to modify custody?
If the parent is not regularly involved in a life of a child be a factor?
Expert:  Amber E. replied 1 year ago.

Custody plans can be modified at any time. And yes, communications between parents can be used as evidence. In fact, text messages, emails, and social media postings are increasingly popular in custody disputes. They can sometimes make or break a case. And yes, actual involvement in a child's life is a major factor. It is a factor when determining initial custody and it is a factor when it comes to modifications.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you! I was devastated that my lawyer told me that there is no way for me to get custody modification unless my xhusband was a drug addict, criminal or mentally ill. I have not even been offered to ask for legal decision modification as an option, because he stated in emails that he would never allow me to travel and will not agree on anything for 18 years. I spent a fortune divorcing a husband that failed to parent our child thinking that I have do deal with him for years and years. Now I see light in the tunnel and need to seek another professional.
Expert:  Amber E. replied 1 year ago.

You're welcome. And yes, it is always a good idea to speak to two or more professionals to get different perspectives. All lawyers, even all lawyers who practice the same kind of law, aren't going to always share the same view. It helps to get different opinions and then make your decision. At the end of the day, the sole purpose of the court is to do what is in the best interest of the child, and the courts have a wide range of discretion to do just that.