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N Cal Attorney
N Cal Attorney, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 9330
Experience:  since 1983
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I have a question on divorce. I am an Indian citizen,

Customer Question

I have a question on divorce. I am an Indian citizen, presently in U.S.A. on H1B Visa, working in an IT firm. My Parents are Green Card Holders and they already living in America, before I arrive. My wife is presently in India with her parents. She dropped schooling after 11th class. Ours is an arranged marriage fixed by aunt(maternal side). My parents were not present at my marriage. We have a 6 year old daughter, who is at present living with with her mom. We married in 2008, December and had a kid in September, 2009. I left India in March, 2010. The one and half year we are together, we always had some or other issue. I came to U.S.A. as Student in March, 2010, I lived with my parents this time. In March, 2011 converted to H1B as I got Job opportunity. So I said to them that I need some time to settle financially to get them here when i am taking the job opportunity, for which she agreed. She is good with me on the phone sometime, but after few months we have issues for some or other reason. Sometime in the month of March, 2012, I sent the dependent(H4) papers to wife and kid to attend the consulate. But their H4 Visa got query requesting some documents, which my employer not provided. So I thought of switching to better employer and try for their visa again and informed the same to my wife. I said i will take time and send the papers again. In the mean time I planned to buy an apartment in India, started paying installments. I used to send money every year to my wife for their expenses. In October, 2014, I sent the H4 papers and their visa got approved. I booked their flight tickets and sent money for their shopping and other expenses. They arrived U.S.A. during thanksgiving in 2014(i.e., end of November, 2014). During all the years She was in India, we always had issues. Everytime, She starts arguments and later say sorry. Before coming here I clearly explained to her and she is aware of my occupation here. As I am working as IT Consultant, I always travel to different client places wherever My company sends. So I will be 6 months in one place, then move to another place. Some times it is like 9-2 months, all depends on project duration with the client. Whenever I have a project break, I used to visit my parents. I made my parent's place as my permanent base. I thought to keep my wife and kid also there and I can keep visiting every other week. I joined my kid in nice school over there(it is a good school district). By this i felt that my kid's schooling is not disturbed(as i my work places change frequently). I informed and explained this to my wife before she came to U.S.A and She agreed for that. Most of the people I knew, do the same, make one place as base. My wife and Kid arrived on my place on 25th Nov, 2014 and then we three traveled to my parent's Place. And I stayed over there for 2 weeks and left. Again I visited them during Christmas and left in 1st week of January, 2015. The time I left in January, She started arguments again and this time she started complaining something or the other about my parents. From my experience with her, what I observe is she gets hyper very soon. She is used to throw the things around her. During my absence, She even had argument with parents and did behaved the same way she used to with me(throwing things around her). Regarding my Parents, both my parents work. My father works full time and my mother works on weekends. During the month of January, both of my parent's fell sick and used to visit Doctors. My father even had some minor surgery. She never cared about them and she used to had her food ad go to her room and spend on phones. She never even asked about health of my parents. Sometime in the end of january, She had a fight with me and said to my parents, that she doesn't want to live in U.S.A and wants to go back. My parent's tried to pacify her, but she didn't listen and said if we don't book the flight, she will call her brother or parents in India to book them a flight.(In the past, when she is in India, She made a Suicide attempt). My parents worried and called, So I immediately took the flight and went there. I booked them a flight on Feb 1st, 2015 and send them back to India. Before that we called her father and he said ok. After going to India, When i tried to to cal her, her brother lifted. I requested him to give the phone to her sister(my wife), but he said that she doesn't want to talk to me. Later I thought they will go their parent's place, but instead they went to my aunt's(who fixed this match) place. When we tried to call my aunt and my cousin sister(aunt's daughter), they also not lifted our call. While She is here I took a number and gave it to her. Later When I am checking my phone record, all the time while she is here, she and my cousin sister to have text messages and sometimes calls when my parents went to work. But when I visited them all these things she stop, but soon after I left, they starts again. When I asked her about this( why are you talking and sending messages secretly) in the phone conference with her, her brother and father, she replied very rudely).
Later we realized that she is influenced by my cousin sister and my aunt's family. And FYI, regarding my cousin, she was in the process of divorce with her husband(he is a cousin to her)(17 years marriage life, 1 college going son, 1 school going daughter) during January, 2015 and by March, 2015 She got divorced.
My parents and I feel that My cousin sister played a game, she wants every one in their family diverted from her personal situation (as she applied for divorce at that time after 17 years of married life), so that every one's focus is on us. And She succeeded in that. One more thing is she used to have affair with others and she made false accusations about her husband for having an affair in divorce papers.
I tried to explain everything to my wife and her family, but nothing worked.
I thought of bringing her here to U.S.A. again this September, but she didn't change bit also. All the time when we have fight before, she used to realize her mistake and say sorry. But this time its not like that.. Even though they are saying that she is not in touch with my cousin Sister, but I don't believe her now. The main issue we used to have from start is she used to tell always lies and when caught red handed, will say sorry, but this time, she is adamant.
In the month Aug, she called and said to send no objection certificate to get my daughter's passport renewed(as one parent is out of India, it is necessary), so I sent. But after my daughter got the new passport, my wife didn't send the copy of it even after I requested.
Last month end, She called me and said that she doesn't like me any more and ask me to leave her, when I asked how about the kid, she said she can take care. I just said speak to her father. her father also making calls to my father asking indirectly to come India and settle(divorce) the issue (permanently). My father said to him lets give us(me and my wife) some time, so that everything will be fine. But today She called me again and in a very harsh tone said that she needs divorce immediately. She said that she cannot be happy with me even after 10 years. And she is insisting me to come to India and give divorce, so that she can live her life and I can live mine. When asked about kid again, she said no need to worry on her as she anyways always grew up with her only, so she can take care.
I am also fed up with all these and planned to take divorce. So, my question is whether we can take a divorce, without going to India, and She not coming to U.S.A. Because, my wife's father is working in police department and has local political leader support. Also my cousin is working in media and she has support of some influential person's in the media and other circles. So If I go to India at this moment, they will definitely make a problem to me.
Please advice. Appreciate your help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  N Cal Attorney replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question.

May I ask what is the closest city to where she is living in India?

Indian divorce law depends on the religion of the parties, so I need to ask you that.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Closest City is Guntur. State is Andhra Pradesh. But my question is whether If a take a divorce here in U.S.A., is it still valid in India. FYI our religion is Hindu.
Expert:  N Cal Attorney replied 1 year ago.

Yes a California divorce would be recognized as valid in India provided both parties actually participated in the case.

Is she willing to consent to jurisdiction in California?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She will not come to U.S.A. at all. She is ready to give divorce from India.
Expert:  N Cal Attorney replied 1 year ago.

Will she consent to a California divorce if she does not have to physically come to California?

This can be done if she has an attorney here and the parties can agree on all the issues.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She cannot have attorney here, whatever we need, might be we can get signed from her like mutual consent.
Expert:  N Cal Attorney replied 1 year ago.

Why can't she have an attorney here?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she is not having visa, and moreover she wouldn't be willing to do it from here, instead if I ask, she then ask me to come to India, which I not willing to go to India.
Expert:  N Cal Attorney replied 1 year ago.

She does not need a visa to get a divorce in California. All she needs is a lawyer here who can file paperwork and appear in Court on her behalf.

You can agree to pay for her attorney.

If she won't consent to California jurisdiction you are in a bad spot.

There is a good discussion of this complex issue at

which states:

"To sum up one can say that exceptions aside, a Hindu couple married in India must seek divorce from an Indian court only.

The two notable exceptions (when a foreign decree of divorce is valid) are (a) when the couple decides to take divorce by mutual consent and

(b) when the person who is contesting divorce attends divorce proceedings and the foreign court grants divorce on grounds that are permitted grounds of divorce under Hindu Marriage Act."

The only one that looks like it will work is (a).

If she will non consent to California jurisdiction, you'll be looking for a lawyer here.

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