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N Cal Attorney
N Cal Attorney, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 9339
Experience:  since 1983
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Dad died when I was 13 and my mom is 101 years old. I am her

Customer Question

Dad died when I was 13 and my mom is 101 years old. I am her only child and I do love my mom. 10+ years ago mom had to go to the hospital for two weeks. Upon checking her in, mom told me I was the only one she trusted to make decisions for her and asked me to get power of attorney and medical power of attorney for her to sign so I paid an attorney to make up the paperwork. I was already aware that mom was writing $1500 a month "C.A.S.H." checks to a neighbor named Judy that had been borrowing money from mom. Mom asked me to bring $1000 in cash to the hospital and I did as told. I brought the money and the papers for her to sign. Judy was a notary so I asked that she notarize the papers at the hospital. When I gave mom her the money, she handed it to the neighbor to, "mow the yard"...a $25 job. As I was asking mom to sign the papers she had asked for, without being asked her opinion, Judy told mom if she signed, mom would lose all control of everything. That was a lie, but Mom then said she would need to look over the papers. I ask Judy about her comments and she said as a notary she had to be sure my mom understood what she was signing. On my next visit to the hospital a week later, I asked mom if she signed the papers so I could start getting the house prepared with special improvements for her return home. I was also going to put the hose in a "trust" to protect it from being taken if mom had to go to an old folks home, but Mom's attitude had turned 180 degrees to total distrust of me. She said, angrily shaking her finger at me, "I will never let anyone get that much control of my life." Judy had poisoned my mom against me. The doctor said mom also had dementia. It got worse from that point on with mom removing me from her bank account and putting another person named Rachel, who had suddenly showed up in her life on her account. Another neighbor named Mrs. Furlow had contacted me months earlier with concerns that Rachel was getting too much control over mom. In a recent phone conversation, mom said she was leaving her half of the house to Rachel. Later she talked about dying or going to an old folks home and turning over the house to the old folks home. I live 15 miles away, but until recently had no car to drive and for 25 years I have had to care for my very ill wife who I can not leave alone for fear of dying. Mom's house is my only inheritance and was going to be sold to pay back my son who has been helping us for years just to survive. Mom has other ways to pay the old folks home if needed, so how can I protect the house from being sold to the old folks home or Rachel getting it and get control to take care of mom?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  N Cal Attorney replied 1 year ago.

You could start by giving that information to APS, see

It sounds like Judy and Rachel are guilty of financial abuse of your mother.

Then, you may want to discuss imposing a guardianship, see

If she has dementia, she needs a guardian.

You can get a free consultation from some of the guardianship attorneys listed by location here.

Please follow up on this with a local attorney.

I hope this information is helpful.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I will respond to easy of your suggestions."You could start by giving that information to APS, see"
APS is nearly useless. I called them on 2 occasions in the past. Most recently for 32 year old young man I knew who had cancer and had no way to get to the doctor. This young man lived with his father and had the maturity of a 15 year old, no drivers license and was 100% obedient to his father's wishes. His father was old school Japanese and allowed him no visitors and refused to take him to a doctor. When I found out, I called APS which went to his house, knocked on the door, talked to neighbors and left a business card on his door....and did nothing more because they could not contact him. The young man got little if any doctor treatment and died. APS did nothing to help. Several years ago O called APS about my mom. They went to talk to her and said she had her mind and refused any help. My mom thinks coherently 80% of the time, but the other 20% she gives things away for pennies on the dollar or for free, writes check for crazy money to people to bail their kids out of jail, loans money to them and then complains to me about it, but doesn't want to do anything to "make them mad" because they "help" her. APS said they could do nothing as long as my mother refused help. I already knew about getting guardianship, but was told it would be a fight if my mother fought it. The way it is now it appears that Rachael and Judy are caring for my a point, but just enough to make her dependent on her and look like they are helping. I have no way to even go out and work because my wife is so ill, so I surly can not get to my mom's house 15 miles away to deal with her. I am an only child and half the house is mine, but dads will was never probated and when he dies in 1970 mom just stayed at the house. When she went to the hospital for two weeks, the power of attorney was for allowing me to make decisions for her, which was to get her whole house equipped with all the features she needed to live there, like a special bathtub, hand rails, narrow wheelchair and other things, but when she turned rabid on me, it was all for nothing. I also was going to set up a trust that would have protected the house from being grabbed by any rest home she might have to go to...but it had to be enforced for 2 years before it would work...and again, with no power of attorney, I could not make it happen. Mom takes bad advice all the time. She is the type who would buy the X-Ray glasses off the back of the comic book because a neighbor said it was a good idea to save on a doctor X-Ray. Mom also has a bad habit of demanding her way only, and will not stop talking till you agree with her. Once Judy slapped her to shut her up. I have never laid a finger on her. Gaurdianship is an idea I already tried. So far this "Just Ask" is not any help. Thanks for trying.It sounds like Judy and Rachel are guilty of financial abuse of your mother.Then, you may want to discuss imposing a guardianship, see she has dementia, she needs a guardian.You can get a free consultation from some of the guardianship attorneys listed by location here.Please follow up on this with a local attorney.I hope this information is helpful.
Expert:  N Cal Attorney replied 1 year ago.

You can still file a probate case on your father's estate but his Will will not be enforced, see

As for your mother, it sounds like she needs a guardian and I still urge you to discuss that with a local attorney.

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